Discussion Do u want to get better or do u not want to?

[SpiderLink]

I can relate to this on every level: been a good person all my life, yet treated like dirt for no good reason. Everything I try fails, for no logical reason. Tired of trying, wanting, needing, hurting. Yet nothing ever changes for the better.
I don't believe in curses, but it often makes me wonder if there is such a thing. Cursed at birth by whatever being created us.
So sorry you are going through this too.

I feel u so much, I've always choose kindness above everything yet people hurt me, intentionally

I'm not too sure. I'm quite split on this one to be honest. Part of me just want all this shit to be gone and be happy again, but part of me craves the feeling of pain and suffering. It's like I want to feel sad even though I don't...? The thought of getting better is great but at the same time rather superficial. Besides, for some reasons, I can only feel good when I harm myself, physically or mentally. Hope that makes sense lol.

I think the song "happy" by NF will really speak to u, I highly recommend giving it a listen if u haven't. I relate to it deeply, lyrics hit home