Discussion do things ever get better or do we just get used to them?

[ssaaahmo]

people tell me life gets so much better and i've been waiting my entire life for that to happen but it hasn't

i'm just convinced it's another lie

what do you think?

 

[StillWaiting]

Some people's lives do get better but not everyone I guess.

 

[braketimez]

It's a lie for some, for sure. It's a truth for others. It sucks how unpredictable it is.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

It is very possible that your life will get better. Being proactive in your life can help with that.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

But have you done something to improve your life?

 

[ssaaahmo]

But have you done something to improve your life?

I have. I got a job, make sure to talk to my friend every day, get outside for fresh air, keeping up with school, and working in therapy to manage everything that's going on.

It is very possible that your life will get better. Being proactive in your life can help with that.

Thank you, I'm trying my best.

 

[alizee]

Depends on if you suffer from something irreversible or not.

Example: Someone can be overweight as the variable for their suffering. The overweight factors into many areas of life and make it so life is painful for that person. They eventually fix that variable by going to the gym and everything else in life form them becomes better.

Another example: Someone was in an abusive relationship and it really downplayed their self confidence. Everything in life is being effected by their low self-esteem. They go on to dump the abusive person and they meet a supporting person as a replacement.

Last example: Transgender child suffers an incorrect puberty to adulthood because of abusive parents and lack of medical support depending on his/her area of residency. The transgender person is disfigured and constantly wishes to die because everyday he/she is reminded from people using pronouns or whatever. They have a near harder time in the dating pool of people not looking like a freak when it comes to their gender. They cannot afford surgeries and despair hinders their opportunities to progress in the workforce or in academia to earn what they need. They also see other transgender people that have supportive parents and don't end up disfigured.

There are many examples where things can get better and where it's impossible. Depends on your situation and the variables that need fixing. You have to approach it systematically to understand what simply is your problem and either fix it or acknowledge it's a lost cause.

 

[ssaaahmo]

Depends on if you suffer from something irreversible or not.

Example: Someone can be overweight as the variable for their suffering. The overweight factors into many areas of life and make it so life is painful for that person. They eventually fix that variable by going to the gym and everything else in life form them becomes better.

Another example: Someone was in an abusive relationship and it really downplayed their self confidence. Everything in life is being effected by their low self-esteem. They go on to dump the abusive person and they meet a supporting person as a replacement.

Last example: Transgender child suffers an incorrect puberty to adulthood because of abusive parents and lack of medical support depending on his/her area of residency. The transgender person is disfigured and constantly wishes to die because everyday he/she is reminded from people using pronouns or whatever. They have a near harder time in the dating pool of people not looking like a freak when it comes to their gender. They cannot afford surgeries and despair hinders their opportunities to progress in the workforce or in academia to earn what they need. They also see other transgender people that have supportive parents and don't end up disfigured.

There are many examples where things can get better and where it's impossible. Depends on your situation and the variables that need fixing. You have to approach it systematically to understand what simply is your problem and either fix it or acknowledge it's a lost cause.

I appreciate your explanation. A lot of my situation is not changeable, so in that sense, I feel very stuck.

 

[alizee]

I appreciate your explanation. A lot of my situation is not changeable, so in that sense, I feel very stuck.

What's the impossible thing that would fix it? I think it's good to acknowledge it even if out of reach. Helps you decide on what to do.

 

[BigLucs]

Just take a look at my picture. It explains it all.

 

[Bct]

Depends on if you suffer from something irreversible or not.

...

There are many examples where things can get better and where it's impossible. Depends on your situation and the variables that need fixing. You have to approach it systematically to understand what simply is your problem and either fix it or acknowledge it's a lost cause.

I agree to some degree. It becomes more complicated when more causes of suffering are added along the way. Taking the overweight example, they found out someone who were close actually made fun of them in the back, so they may also need to deal with trust issue even though their body becomes better.

 

[Tintypographer]

I truly see the mental health industry as promoting "just giving up and accepting that your happiness is in making your brain accept your circumstances". That's what all the work in mental health has landed at as their best way: 'Just convince yourself to not think things suck and redefine success and happiness as whatever your circumstances are.". If you won't do that then the problem isn't with mental health treatment, it's with you not following the recommendation to just be happy regardless of things sucking.

So no, I don't think circumstances get better. Society says that accountability and self reliance and building your own future are the keys to success; if you're not successful you failed at one of those things.

Society even builds around this the idea that taking your own life is a failure. I truly feel in a twisted bit of logic that mental health and society together prefer people to be in an abyss of despair without suicide so that the worlds of mental health and society can't feel like there is a problem. Having many people choose with regularity to simply catch the bus would point out that there is a non trivial number of people for whom current standards of success and happiness and mental health treatment in general do not support. It can't be that cognitive reframing doesn't work, it can't be that people can't simply choose to pull up their boot straps. No, obviously glaringly obvious high profile suicides such as Kate Spade, Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain and others can't signal a deeper flaw that some class of people need something beyond simply "looking at life in a different way!".

For some of the world it doesn't matter! Things can't get better no matter what you do or how you reframe it. You're stuck with the weight of miserable or you go until you can't take it anymore. Those are the only two choices when you are in this level of pain and sometimes it just won't end.

 

[MephistoJustBeneath]

From my experience:

No, it doesn't. Hope is something made up by the elite to make it seem like there's an actual purpose behind our suffering. It only gets better for people who are privileged enough to have everything work out for them.

 

[alizee]

I agree to some degree. It becomes more complicated when more causes of suffering are added along the way. Taking the overweight example, they found out someone who were close actually made fun of them in the back, so they may also need to deal with trust issue even though their body becomes better.

Well yes, I wasn't implying the overweight example as the only example for all overweight people. It depends on the situation of the person and all the variables that are at play. I think my examples do convey what you're implying.

 

[Bct]

Well yes, I wasn't implying the overweight example as the only example for all overweight people. It depends on the situation of the person and all the variables that are at play. I think my examples do convey what you're implying.

Stupid me. Looks like I missed some of your points :/