Do really want to CTB or do you want just the suffering to end?

[gggy]

will you still CTB if life worked out and there was no suffering?

edit: I didn't formed this right, when I said no suffering I meant true heaven like all time bliss

 

[Freimann]

Yes. Life is pointless, with or without happiness. And I'll forever miss the one I love.

 

[gggy]

Yes. Life is pointless, with or without happiness. And I'll forever miss the one I love.

yes there's no defined meaning to life it's how you perceive it, at the end everyone die, sooner or later, be absurd I guess

also taxi driver is a great movie

 

[until death]

I really want to die

 

[gggy]

I really want to die

what's holding you?

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I certainly wish to eternally cease existing, no matter what I'll always see it as preferable to not exist. For me the true problem lies in existence itself, it's very burdensome to have the ability to exist, I see nothing desirable about this futile process of waiting to die, it's a curse to exist as a human who is capable of suffering endlessly all while they are destined for nothing but to deteriorate from age.

I find it tiresome simply being conscious and aware in this meaningless existence there was never even a need for. The thought of eternally ceasing to exist is all that comforts me which is why I hate how we exist in this anti-suicide society where humans are expected to continue suffering no matter what until death inevitably erases everything for them. It's horrifying how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible despite the fact that we exist in this hellish reality where there is no limit as to how much one can be tormented.

 

[ADeadBunny]

Yes, I don't really want to ctb. I do just want the suffering to stop. However, there is no way to stop my suffering. The only way I could be made whole is by means of magic or science fiction. I'd rather die than live as this abberation. I know I'm not seen as such, but I'll always feel like that.

 

[Sylveon]

I'm just a grain of sand in a vast desert; it doesn't matter if I live or die; I add nothing of value anyway, so I'd much rather end it all than continue my pointless existence.

 

[until death]

what's holding you?

Nothing

 

[gggy]

In my case I certainly wish to eternally cease existing, no matter what I'll always see it as preferable to not exist. For me the true problem lies in existence itself, it's very burdensome to have the ability to exist, I see nothing desirable about this futile process of waiting to die, it's a curse to exist as a human who is capable of suffering endlessly all while they are destined for nothing but to deteriorate from age.

I find it tiresome simply being conscious and aware in this meaningless existence there was never even a need for. The thought of eternally ceasing to exist is all that comforts me which is why I hate how we exist in this anti-suicide society where humans are expected to continue suffering no matter what until death inevitably erases everything for them. It's horrifying how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible despite the fact that we exist in this hellish reality where there is no limit as to how much one can be tormented.

I get your idea it's a tragic accident that we came alive.

I don't get when you said inaccessible, I mean you literally just off a high building and ctb it's literally easy to die

I'm just a grain of sand in a vast desert; it doesn't matter if I live or die; I add nothing of value anyway, so I'd much rather end it all than continue my pointless existence.

why do we have the need to do smtg remarkable or change smtg or be heard in this world?

Yes, I don't really want to ctb. I do just want the suffering to stop. However, there is no way to stop my suffering. The only way I could be made whole is by means of magic or science fiction. I'd rather die than live as this abberation. I know I'm not seen as such, but I'll always feel like that.

if you want to talk about it im here.

Nothing

then...

 

[misophoned]

will you still CTB if life worked out and there was no suffering?

If, in a wild fantasy, my misophonia was cured and my PTSD ceased to be, I'd love to take a shot at life. I had plans. I wanted a future, instead I got severe chronic misophonia. I have a family I love. Today is my last Christmas with them and I'm bedridden with period cramps. My brother just brought in a new bottle of wine for me to try. How am I supposed to accept that this our last drink together. Ofcourse I'd like to be able to see them all together again and not worry that this is the last time. I want to have a life, get married, have more laughs with friends, have more crying, make more special moments, and do more things, but I know I can't live with such a plague. If it were possible for a surgery to fix my processing or a pill to numb just this kind of pain, I wouldn't need to ctb. However, there isn't. I can only catch the bus to end the pain. My ticket is my only cure.

 

[Jolene79]

I really more than anything do not want to die.

I've experienced real contentment, comfort and love ( I'm a mum). I would give anything on this earth to be well, even just enough to able to function. I am so so sick, I'm getting worse each day. It's somehow affecting my mental state. I need a doctor to spend hours investigating all the various issues I now have instead of shuffling me out the door. It feels utterly hopeless and I hate the pain,sickness and crippling anxiety I wake up to every single day. If there was any hope of improvement here I would want to live so much

 

[mysadstuff]

I want the suffering to stop and planning to CTB makes me feel relief knowing it will stop it

 

[until death]

I get your idea it's a tragic accident that we came alive.

I don't get when you said inaccessible, I mean you literally just off a high building and ctb it's literally easy to die

why do we have the need to do smtg remarkable or change smtg or be heard in this world?

if you want to talk about it im here.

then...

On New Year's Eve

 

[Sylveon]

why do we have the need to do smtg remarkable or change smtg or be heard in this world?

I'm sorry, I didn't quite get you.

 

[gggy]

On New Year's Eve

What's stopping from doing it now?
sorry for being this intrusive also gl

 

[Abyssal]

Sometimes I want the pain to stop. Right now I simply want to die in general. No suffering just craving.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

will you still CTB if life worked out and there was no suffering?

edit: I didn't formed this right, when I said no suffering I meant true heaven like all time bliss

My life never really came together, several false starts. I was planning to kms and my father on my 25th birthday. My sister made me an uncle at 23 so I called it off to protect my nibblings. Life inevitably fell apart again. I've got incredible debt from all my attempts these past few years, can't even pay my taxes, going through divorce after 3 years of separation, can't keep up because I can't be around people.

Yes, this life is not worth suffering for.

 

[Lost Dreamer]

I know for a fact that I enjoy some parts of life but it is very hard to appreciate them sometimes. Even in my happiest moments I cannot forget that eventually I'm going to get hurt again, might not be today or tomorrow but its going to happen without a doubt. It might be because of this constant fear of getting hurt, of wondering when I'm going to end up crying on the floor again by myself that has been making me seriously consider this other painless path.

 

[gggy]

I really more than anything do not want to die.

I've experienced real contentment, comfort and love ( I'm a mum). I would give anything on this earth to be well, even just enough to able to function. I am so so sick, I'm getting worse each day. It's somehow affecting my mental state. I need a doctor to spend hours investigating all the various issues I now have instead of shuffling me out the door. It feels utterly hopeless and I hate the pain,sickness and crippling anxiety I wake up to every single day. If there was any hope of improvement here I would want to live so much

are you physically sick and there's any room for improvement to your illness?
I hope you get well, if therapy didn't not help you, I recommend doing LSD, there was a research where they give LSD to cancer patients they all had improvement to their mental being and acceptance to death
https://fortune.com/well/2023/04/17/psychedelics-ease-cancer-patients-depression-anxiety/

I tried LSD and it's an out of the ordinary experience, I felt like melting and dying and I got ego death which opened my eye to many things in life
I can go on for a lot talking about my experience if you want anw if can't find it just hmu and I will help you get it

 

[Jolene79]

are you physically sick and there's any room for improvement to your illness?
I hope you get well, if therapy didn't not help you, I recommend doing LSD, there was a research where they give LSD to cancer patients they all had improvement to their mental being and acceptance to death
https://fortune.com/well/2023/04/17/psychedelics-ease-cancer-patients-depression-anxiety/

I tried LSD and it's an out of the ordinary experience, I felt like melting and dying and I got ego death which opened my eye to many things in life
I can go on for a lot talking about my experience if you want anw if can't find it just hmu and I will help you get it

Unfortunately I have very severe and unexplainable reactions to things. My body is hyper reactive now in it's current state. Yes, I'm very physically unwell. This wouldn't be a good idea for me at all. Thank you though. I always enjoyed watching programmes about this and it's potential to help people.

 

[until death]

What's stopping from doing it now?
sorry for being this intrusive also gl

Preparations

 

[gggy]

If, in a wild fantasy, my misophonia was cured and my PTSD ceased to be, I'd love to take a shot at life. I had plans. I wanted a future, instead I got severe chronic misophonia. I have a family I love. Today is my last Christmas with them and I'm bedridden with period cramps. My brother just brought in a new bottle of wine for me to try. How am I supposed to accept that this our last drink together. Ofcourse I'd like to be able to see them all together again and not worry that this is the last time. I want to have a life, get married, have more laughs with friends, have more crying, make more special moments, and do more things, but I know I can't live with such a plague. If it were possible for a surgery to fix my processing or a pill to numb just this kind of pain, I wouldn't need to ctb. However, there isn't. I can only catch the bus to end the pain. My ticket is my only cure.

for a pill I can only recommend MDMA as it has been proven to be incredibly effective to cure PTSD

MDMA-Assisted Therapy for PTSD: What to Know

Researchers are looking into the therapeutic benefits of MDMA, also known as ecstasy or Molly, for severe PTSD. They say it may be cheaper and work better than other therapies.

www.webmd.com

I can help you find it if you want just hmu

I know for a fact that I enjoy some parts of life but it is very hard to appreciate them sometimes. Even in my happiest moments I cannot forget that eventually I'm going to get hurt again, might not be today or tomorrow but its going to happen without a doubt. It might be because of this constant fear of getting hurt, of wondering when I'm going to end up crying on the floor again by myself that has been making me seriously consider this other painless path.

ever heard of law of attraction?

I'm sorry, I didn't quite get you.

you said "I'm just a grain of sand in a vast desert; it doesn't matter if I live or die; I add nothing of value anyway" which bought to my intention a philosophical of why we have the urge to be something or someone (be important) and be heard?

 

[ASBA999]

Suffering with terrible chronic illnesses and the love of my life left me cause I'm so ill so I want the Suffering to end so no choice but to CBT

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Are they not one in the same?

 

[Brown-Jacket Revy]

The hope of a better future contains me within a loop of frustration and agony, because I desire better circumstances yet lack the executive function to manifest them, and the "desire" to die is really just a shadow expression of desperation and fear, and of being fed up with my life being the way it is now, and me being the way I am now.

In simpler terms, if I truly wanted to die, I would have been and done it, and no amount of SI would have stopped me.

But I've yet to reach my threshold of genuine hopelessness, I think; if I reached it, I'd have the stimulus necessary to act against my life.

 

[frogbpd]

Reasons I don't want to die- leaving people who care about me being inside and the guilt (even though I won't feel it if I'm dead...)

Reasons I do- yep the suffering. Each day is usually a big struggle to get through and I hate myself

 

[gggy]

The hope of a better future contains me within a loop of frustration and agony, because I desire better circumstances yet lack the executive function to manifest them, and the "desire" to die is really just a shadow expression of desperation and fear, and of being fed up with my life being the way it is now, and me being the way I am now.

In simpler terms, if I truly wanted to die, I would have been and done it, and no amount of SI would have stopped me.

But I've yet to reach my threshold of genuine hopelessness, I think; if I reached it, I'd have the stimulus necessary to act against my life.

if you want to talk about it im here just hmu, I will also tomorrow write a realization I just had about life

Reasons I don't want to die- leaving people who care about me being inside and the guilt (even though I won't feel it if I'm dead...)

Reasons I do- yep the suffering. Each day is usually a big struggle to get through and I hate myself

so if the suffering didn't exist you wouldn't ctb

 

[forget.m3.hxxrt]

i'd probably stay. i really don't want to ctb but it's the only way i can stop the suffering. the guilt of leaving all my family + friends behind & SI are the main reasons keeping me here.

 

[Nymph]

will you still CTB if life worked out and there was no suffering?

edit: I didn't formed this right, when I said no suffering I meant true heaven like all time bliss

If it was all time bliss like you mentioned then no, I wouldn't want to ctb. I wouldn't want to ctb even if it wasn't bliss 100% of the time, just at least good most of the time. Ctbing is scary and it would also hurt people around me