Do really want to CTB or do you want just the suffering to end?

[AInilam]

Would be nice if some divine being could visit me in my dreams and say, ''alright, that's enough--you're going back home now.'' If I could leave this horrible place in favor of a world where there is no suffering and everything exists only to excite the senses and foster nothing but love, peace, creativity and happiness, I'd take that leap in a heartbeat.

 

[HollowDrop]

I certainly don't want to die, it's more that I'm mentally and physically tired of my mental instability slowly turning me insane and rendering every day life painful. I'm a prisoner of my mentally ill mind and I want out, I want away from the constant internal screaming and outer crying. Away from the eternal fear and paranoia that everyone is out there to betray me like others did.
For the time being my cat is here to keep me around while I work on my plans.

 

[IWishToDie]

If I wasn't partially crippled and could exercise again, I would be 100% focused on gaining muscle and finding a new career. I love life, I hate suffering. Catch 22.

 

[huphup]

I think its more wanting the pain to end although I also believe that life has not greater meaning or purpose. CTB is the lesser of two evils. I think this quote is great at explaining it:

"The so-called 'psychotically depressed' person who tries to kill herself doesn't do so out of quote 'hopelessness' or any abstract conviction that life's assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise." - David Foster Wallace


I am also interested in suicidology and suicide typically arises from adversity and no hope of getting better, doesn't seem to be that a person wants to CTB. An interesting evolutionary theory suggests that suicide attempts are used to signal to others that someone is REALLY in pain and needs help from their social network, one that is initially not helping them enough. Essentially, a suicidal mind finds that the potential benefits of a suicide attempt outweigh the costs of potential death. It's called costly signalling theory