D
ddd1234
Experienced
- Nov 23, 2021
- 268
Oh man such a wise words. How is it possible that you built your character over decades and 2 months of insomnia , anhedonia, constant anxiety and ruminating turns you into some ugly, balding, emotionless zombie? I cannot enjoy anything because the thought that it could be so good if I didn't make mistake pops in my mind and ruins everything. Cannot watch movies, listen music, read books. I. Hate. This. LifeAbsolutely. Hardship does not build character. It ruins it. At least in my case.
Friends and family who are trying to help me right now clearly think this is some Phase- They are kindly offering support and encouraging words.
They think that I will heal and eventually go back to being relatively charming, generous, and friendly.
But that's not going to happen. An ugly side of me has emerged and it's not going away.
Which is why this needs to stop as soon as possible. There's really no point in dragging it out.
I was writing these exact words just now. It's frustrating because we know that life is beautiful. There are all these amazing experiences that could've been our future. There's all these people who want to help us. We know exactly who we want to be. But we also know it's impossible. That is a tragedy.