Story I don't know who to believe at this point, giving up on a cure and living a simple life while waiting for disability benefits.

[calebzz1]

Hello everyone, I wanted to provide an update to my current situation.

I'm trying to explore the neurological side of my visual impairment since it seems to be more functional and psychogenic in nature.

I went out with my mom yesterday to see a neuropsychiatrist who doesn't believe in medication but something called neurofeedback for a second appointment after the initial consultation.

I received a QEEG which analyzed my brain.

Apparently I'm heavily deficient in cognitive efficiency, focus, concentration, memory, mood and brain speed.

The test wasn't an EEG as I thought but it was actually better.

Also, my relaxation score was a bit low.

Everything was fine until the provider was going over my results and the financial part hit.

Apparently I have to undergo forty sessions and the whole program costs a whopping $4500.

The down payment is $600 and it could be lessened to two payments of $300.

After two months of that, $150 for 26 months.

That is pretty daunting to say the least considering my mom roughly gets $1700 per month and that goes to the rent and electric bill.

It's doable but would it even help?

Who knows.

Also, keep in mind that he stated improvement was possible with a 98% success rate but no guarantee of a cure.

It's difficult financially because my mom and I rely on her SSDI benefits until I can get SSI myself.

I wish I could get SSDI but have around 36/40 work credits and it is impossible to get a job for now due to my symptoms.

Anyways, my mom and I get to the front desk, right?

Immediately, the vibe shifted.

The lobby was full before and now it's absolutely packed with people.

Before, there were only a few.

I mentioned multiple times that I would like to call later and schedule an appointment as I wanted to go over the financial part with my mom first as we only have a limited amount of money each month.

Suddenly, the provider went full salesman mode and was aggressively pushing for myself to make an appointment the upcoming week.

Also, he mentioned that I should open my CareCredit account back up to cover the payment.

He also stated that I would definitely be able to come up with it somehow, the atmosphere was off to the point where it felt like a "team-up" with the receptionists and him suddenly shifting gears.

I got that "notch below" feeling in my chest and firmly stated that I wanted to be escorted to the elevator as I was over it and didn't want to engage further.

Keep in mind, in real-time I can barely see what's going on and I'm chronically stressed.

I have a short fuse but keep it on the low.

I had my LASIK surgery at TLC and immediately felt like I was back to signing the contract of undergoing a payment plan to get surgery done all over again.

Here's a brief picture on how I got scammed by the center, no full refund by the way as they only offered a partial one and I didn't want to sign a legal contract.



The neuropsychiatrist center had a strange elevator that's old-school and hard to operate which made it even more annoying.

My mom had a tough time getting up the stairs.

Thankfully, the receptionist was really chill and we communicated in e-mail prior.

I think that she could tell I was annoyed, far from the polite and intelligent man who sent the e-mail.

There was this dude with glasses who awkwardly tumbled as I charged forth with my cane trying to leave LOL!

I later saw him outside, wanted to tell him that I was okay as he seemed chill but it's all good.

We left and I felt pretty sour to say the least.

I saw a kid who randomly kept staring while I was trying to get transportation home and I said "What?" because I already felt indifferent and annoyed with people.

I waved and said "Bye kid!" when the mom drove off, low-key felt like a bitter old man but I wanted to get back to the apartment.

I'm mean off of SaSu.

I'm glad I got the QEEG and proof that it is indeed more neurological than expected but the financial barrier was wild.

I will take the information over to my other neuropsychiatrist who deals with medication on the 15th and go from there.

Maybe they can figure out if I'm being scammed or not.

Hopefully I can communicate how I feel on a higher level since the first one was a bit egocentric and had a formula of some sort.

I'm willing to try his treatment but it's very expensive and it gets to the point where you don't know who to believe anymore.

Every provider states something different, like my second neuro-ophthalmologist there is no cure and I'm rolling with that for now.

At the end of the day, I know I will get disability benefits of some sort but wish that I wasn't barely functional day after day.

I live a hard life with my condition but try to make the most out of it and help when I can.

I miss being able to properly read, watch movies, television and play video games like I used to.

I can't believe I'm really stuck seeing double every couple of seconds with my eyes while dealing with a nasty blur.

At least I get some moments of normalcy but otherwise it's pure chaos.

If you guys want a picture of my brain map or more information feel free to reply or send a direct message.

I appreciate this community always being there.

I'll be sure to keep you all updated if anything changes.