I want to think so, but aside from one or maybe * maybe * two people...I think people want me to kill myself. I think there are people out there who have psychologically and emotionally isolated and tormented me and there is no where I can go. I can't even be online. I can only think I'm being pushed to my absolute limits on purpose to see how long I can hold out. I am alone. I could accept this fate if it didn't hurt so much. If I could shut off all emotion this would be so much better. If I am to be used and hurt, please just lobotomize me. I have no advocacy, everywhere I go things shut down, end, or worse. I'm now convinced going to any mental health clinician is just asking me to be shipped off to god knows where and experimented on. The stuff I have endured nobody will know about and likely nobody will believe me. I am human meat, I just wish I wasn't human. I'm just a loser. Clinging onto hope, desperately trying to use and reuse all of my coping mechanisms that don't even work. I'm afraid of going outside. I am afraid of people. I am not made for this world, so please, I pray I find some method because all I think about is death.