Do people really care about you?

[goodoldnoname923]

I know there is like aleast 2 people that do for sure but for the rest i don't really know…people claim to care or seem to but do they really…i'm starting to have my doubts nowadays tbh

Who can you really trust?

 

[Sulyya]

It's hard to tell, I suppose.

In my case many people really do, and I hate it because it makes ctb feel almost impossible because it would be a big hit to those people.

The one person I wish I knew cared about me doesn't seem to, or I can't tell.

 

[derpyderpins]

I think plenty of people care, the question is do they prioritize? Someone can care about tons of people and things, but when you need help, are they going to be there for you or is something else a higher priority?

 

[ImTelling]

I think my family and friends do care about me. But I've let them down so intensely that suicide is the only logical conclusion to make up for me being a perpetual fuck up.

The only problem in this situation is me, I was never abused and there are people far worse off than me that deserve the resources I am selfishly hogging up.

I think plenty of people care, the question is do they prioritize? Someone can care about tons of people and things, but when you need help, are they going to be there for you or is something else a higher priority?

From personal experience, the less you fuck up or show the bad sides of you - the more they'll care. If you attempt more than once your chances of getting help from your family and friends drops significantly.

In my opinion, it's justified. I'm being the burden by constantly asking for their empathy.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I think my family and friends do care about me. But I've let them down so intensely that suicide is the only logical conclusion to make up for me being a perpetual fuck up.

The only problem in this situation is me, I was never abused and there are people far worse off than me that deserve the resources I am selfishly hogging up.

My family are very touch and go with me my external family forget i fucking exist as for my close family they don't really understand my at all

As for friends i have like only 2 friends I feel closely connected to currently that i trust despite being emotionally distant from them just due to my own shit inside my head an all…currently they're the only people i truly feel guilty about leaving behind

I'm in so much pain because of the loss of my former friend that its been tearing me apart for months and the only thing i can ever seem to think about playing it in my own head over and over

And please don't beat yourself up and just because people have supposely gone through worse shouldn't undermine your own experiences and troubles sometimes its not about what you deal with but how emotionally equipped you are to deal with them so please dont beat yourself up for all of that ok

 

[lizzywizzy09]

They "care", just never enough.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Some do, but they really shouldn't. At least they don't care enough to look further than empty platitudes to help me with.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

They "care", just never enough.

What do you mean by that?

 

[ImTelling]

My family are very touch and go with me my external family forget i fucking exist as for my close family they don't really understand my at all

As for friends i have like only 2 friends I feel closely connected to currently that i trust despite being emotionally distant from them just due to my own shit inside my head an all…currently they're the only people i truly feel guilty about leaving behind

I'm in so much pain because of the loss of my former friend that its been tearing me apart for months and the only thing i can ever seem to think about playing it in my own head over and over

And please don't beat yourself up and just because people have supposely gone through worse shouldn't undermine your own experiences and troubles sometimes its not about what you deal with but how emotionally equipped you are to deal with them so please dont beat yourself up for all of that ok

Thanks for the detailed response and thank you for the message at the end. I can't absorb what you're saying unfortunately but I very much appreciate what you're saying. Things are just all fucked up.

 

[Finalnight]

Aside of having no more friends, because I can't make any, I know deep down nobody really cares about me, not even my family, whatever I try to make them like me just makes things worse so I don't expect anybody to mourn me and remember me once I'm gone

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I think plenty of people care, the question is do they prioritize? Someone can care about tons of people and things, but when you need help, are they going to be there for you or is something else a higher priority?

Is this a personal question or a philosophical one?

If the former i suppose it depends how close you are to them or how valuable you are,sometimes a person's business is a reflection of were you lie on their sechule as opposed to how busy they actually are

If the ladder well caring in a way is subjective in a sense so it's hard to really call,as i said earlier it could reflect someones view or value of them or purely be down to their own priorities so again its a tough question to answer

 

[lizzywizzy09]

What do you mean by that?

In my experience, people care only so much to the extent that it doesn't inconvenience them. Not all people of course, but enough to fuck things up. For example, if the people I relied on as a child acknowledged my existence as more than being just a nuisance that lived under their roof, I wouldn't be in this situation today. There are caring people of course, it's just too bad I didn't have them around growing up.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Aside of having no more friends, because I can't make any, I know deep down nobody really cares about me, not even my family, whatever I try to make them like me just makes things worse so I don't expect anybody to mourn me and remember me once I'm gone

Relatable in some sense,people will say they care but do they really? I guess in some ways actions speak louder than words

I'm sorry that you don't have anyone you can consider a real friend I imagine that being extremely difficult but also deeply relatable

And lowering your expectations can definitely help with disappointment and considerating the amount of that i face i wish i could do that myself

 

[HereTomorrow]

My IRL high school now college graduates do, though similar to me, we've bonded due to us all having autism/aspergers, and they're struggling. I really don't want to hurt them with my emotions and suicidial thoughts.

I've lost people I've held close because I was too open about mental illness. I'm genuine with my friends, but not honest. I care about them more then they care about me.

I know my mother cares about me, she put me in therapy and kept me there until I felt better, but wouldn't listen to me when I told her I hated my therapist for years. She just wants me to be okay but ends up harming me often in trying to help. I hope she doesn't think bad of me, I've been a disappointment to the family.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

In my experience, people care only so much to the extent that it doesn't inconvenience them. Not all people of course, but enough to fuck things up. For example, if the people I relied on as a child acknowledged my existence as more than being just a nuisance that lived under their roof, I wouldn't be in this situation today. There are caring people of course, it's just too bad I didn't have them around growing up.

I mean thats true,but arnt we all like that in some sense. How many people actually go out of their way to help others…i'll do that for those i care for on a deeper level or feel a level of closeness too…granted if someone asks for my aid i'm happy to oblige but yea…guess i struggle at reading people

Back to my original point though most people would rather look out for themselves or someone they deem of value than someone who is just a face i suppose

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I mean thats true,but arnt we all like that in some sense. How many people actually go out of their way to help others…i'll do that for those i care for on a deeper level or feel a level of closeness too…granted if someone asks for my aid i'm happy to oblige but yea…guess i struggle at reading people

Back to my original point though most people would rather look out for themselves or someone they deem of value than someone who is just a face i suppose

That's just it, the ones who were supposed to look out for me the most didn't care enough so I could only imagine how little anyone else could.

And yes, even the most altruistic people have their limits on how far they're willing to go to help someone passed their own level of convenience and comfort. Fair enough, it is what it is. I just wish it was commonplace to be honest about it.

 

[vitbar]

Family and a few friends do care about me.

 

[divinemistress36]

They care to a certain extent . Not enough to get me real help though.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

They care to a certain extent . Not enough to get me real help though.

I guess thats another question of how much they care which i feel derpy was alluding too prior

There is people that do care people that don't and then people that truly care its about telling apart who from who

It's very easy to over or underestimate how much someone cares and its a dangerous thing to do

 

[divinemistress36]

I guess thats another question of how much they care which i feel derpy was alluding too prior

There is people that do care people that don't and then people that truly care its about telling apart who from who

It's very easy to over or underestimate how much someone cares and its a dangerous thing to do

Defintely and actions speak louder than words just telling someone you care isnt enough . One needs to show that they care

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Defintely and actions speak louder than words just telling someone you care isnt enough . One needs to show that they care

I've had people tell me they care and i can open up yet never there whenever i want or need to,granted i've always had others show they care and never explicitly say it yet i fail to see the signs so it's certainly difficult sadly

 

[derpyderpins]

Is this a personal question or a philosophical one?

If the former i suppose it depends how close you are to them or how valuable you are,sometimes a person's business is a reflection of were you lie on their sechule as opposed to how busy they actually are

If the ladder well caring in a way is subjective in a sense so it's hard to really call,as i said earlier it could reflect someones view or value of them or purely be down to their own priorities so again its a tough question to answer

I just meant it philosophically, and your answer follows what I was getting at.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I just meant it philosophically, and your answer follows what I was getting at.

Yea i guess caring is multifaceted if you think about it. As many and myself have discussed in this post it can come down to wether that concern is genuine superficial or even existent at all

As well as what I discussed prior it is truly hard to read someone of concern and someone without and misreading either way can be critical

 

[BlazingBob]

Not really. Since becoming sick and having nothing to offer anyone I've become forgotten. I could ctb and it would be months, years, or never that anyone would ever know.

 

[set0553]

The people work with, around 200 total, pretend to care about me, but truth is without me doing all the extra work I do for everyone everyday, they'd all be screwed and have to actually do mountains of work everyday. id say I got one friend, that truly cares about me, the rest only care about what I can do for them. But if I count 2 dogs in that, then 3 total care..

 

[DoubleUp8]

May or may not have people in your life who truly care. But the people who don't even know you who claim to care are full of shit! People who work in mental health racket for instance. Or I have had the morons who answer the phone at 988 claim to care and I always call them on it. Sometimes parents or other family don't really care. And you probably will have very few friends who really care but many who claim to. It's not about what people say. Anyone can say anything. It costs nothing. It's about what they do or don't do. I feel fortunate that at this point in my life there is no one who truly cares about me. I can ctb with a clear conscience and knowledge that when I die, not 1 teardrop falls

 

[Aergia]

In my personal experience the care itself might be real, but the place whence it arises—a sense of obligation deriving from kinship or a desire to reciprocate in some sense—isn't something I can truly appreciate. It's certainly better than not being cared about at all, but I can find it hard to count those relationships as "real".

 

[set0553]

Aside of having no more friends, because I can't make any, I know deep down nobody really cares about me, not even my family, whatever I try to make them like me just makes things worse so I don't expect anybody to mourn me and remember me once I'm gone

Families suck tho.. mine lately have been getting together alot, went to the zoo a few times, out to restaurant for dinner, and other get together, all of them on days I "coincidentally" was scheduled and at work.. one big way of saying they don't want me around. it used to bother me some, but anymore I've really been loving alone time. I prefer that more than anything now. So they don't care, I don't care. They apparently have a much better time when I'm not there anyway.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

Many people cared about me
and I was really loved a lot at one point in my life

I would like to return to those times
But hardships turned my heart black and bitter
And I convinced myself I had nobody and couldn't care for anyone but myself

Consequently, ruining everything

 

[LaughingGoat]

Probably unpopular opinion but I don't think anyone is owed being cared for, besides by their parents given their role in bringing them into existence. Everybody is living their own life and dealing with everything that includes. My question for people who focus on this is are there people you encounter frequently (coworkers, acquittances, etc.) that you don't give that much attention to? Anyone being honest will say of course, truthfully we give little attention to the majority of people we interact with. Can you guarantee that none of those people feel the same hurt by your lack of care? That's not meant as a criticism of anyone's interactions, just that it's worth taking a bird-eye view removed from the first person egocentric perspective to understand all humans in a society larger than 10 people are going to interact like that with the vast majority of people. I don't know anyone who is friends with the majority of people they interact with or cares about all them on a personal level, that person would be a living saint since it's just not practical.

Additionally, helping or dealing with people with severe mental health like most of us here have is not easy for a typical person. It's incredibly draining and I can't expect anyone else to do so out of the kindness of their heart. The way I view it is when I find one person in life like that, that is more than should be expected.