Story Do NOT use THC if you're severely mentally-ill.

[ILiveAlone]

For reference, I have anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder with traits of a borderline personality (if not full blown BPD, but I haven't seen a psychiatrist in a while, so I don't know), and PTSD. Also, I have really, really weird compulsions. I don't know if it's indicative of anything, but I'm obsessed with order and making sure everything is aligned (y'know, like, aligning bottles and stuff).

Also, I'm not a psychiatrist, so I can't speak for everybody. THC may work for you. I'm just speaking from personal experience.

I ingested a 10mg THC gummy about 24 hours ago. I've been experimenting with drugs (Benadryl/THC) and alcohol for a bit over the course of years, doing it once every couple of months.
- I've stopped using Benadryl because I don't think it's safe to get high off of on a consistent basis. I was ingesting 30 pills at a time. Granted, I was very suicidal at the time, so I'd only do it as an act of attempting. Now that I'm no longer in that mindset, I have no urge to do it anymore. Regardless, it made me paranoid.
- I don't like alcohol because it has a bad taste, but it's the only thing that doesn't make me paranoid. Also, personally, no matter how much I drink, I don't get drunk for long. Only 15-30 minutes. Then I'm just stumbling around because my body feels heavy, but I don't feel buzzed.
- I've tried smoking it, but it's hard. Also, I have asthma. But when I smoked it, I felt...good. But same thing as alcohol, it didn't last long. After that, I switched over to edibles and the first two times, I was giggling at first, but then I quickly got paranoid and thought the high would never end. However, I thought that was because I was a beginner and I needed more exposure/experience.

So, yesterday, I took a gummy and I told myself that I'd remain calm as I let it hit.
I experienced such vivid hallucinations--I don't even think that's common with THC, right? For reference, I've hallucinated throughout my life, but it was rare and they weren't super vivid (seeing things out of the corner of my eye, hearing my name, feeling a presence behind me, feeling that presence shake me, etc.) They have become more prominent as I've progressed in my mental decline, but still rare. Until yesterday.

I saw a woman crouched over hugging her knees turn her head to look at me. I heard whistling coming from the hallway of my apartment building. I'd be on my phone and in the unfocused view behind my phone, I'd see a mirror. I felt my shadow grow and look over me. I tried to lay down and, I have a bag of chips on my table, I heard the chips crunch, like, someone was balling them up.

I tried to sleep, and I did for a couple of hours, and when I woke up, I wasn't hallucinating anymore, but I was still extremely on edge. I was sensitive to any noise that was made--like I'd jump at anything. I thought my phone was responding to my thoughts--like I thought my phone was showing me things on purpose to scare me.

I think I'm still a little on edge, but I've definitely calmed down a lot from my high. Regardless, it's been a very intense experience and I don't know if I'll be using THC again. I read CBD might be better.
It's not all bad though. I've been on a health and wellness journey. I think I just need to find something else, something that's not mind-altering, to take my mind off of things. I've been drawing, dieting, exercising, and performing haircare/skincare on a consistent basis. Also, I've been going out (to the mall, thrifting, watching movies etc.) and having fun! I'd just thought I'd give gummies a try again.

I just wanted to share because I wanted to know if:
1. Was my experience normal?
2. Has anyone else with similar mental health issues had a similar experience using THC?

 

[telekon]

I become instantly delusional when I smoke, but I kind of like it.

I was happier back when I used to be in psychosis.

 

[meowmrrpmeowmeow]

were they from a dispensary or what

i had a similar experience but its absolutely not normal i stopped bc i didnt want to become schizophrenic u probably should stop too
id feel like people were following me whenever id leave my house for several weeks after

just find something else

 

[ihateittoo]

weed is what got me through highschool. going through most of high school unmedicated bipolar i used a lot of weed to help both calm me down, or help me feel better during any depressive episodes. i can go through a 2g cart in maybe a week. been a smoker since 9th grade, with some minor periods of breaks(mostly the 2 times my parents caught me).

it reacts different to everyone and while I have never hallucinated from weed its not ENTIRELY uncommon(as in it is a documented phenomenon, most people wont experience it). i would advise no longer taking any thc products

 

[chuckapalahniuk27]

I just wanted to share because I wanted to know if:
1. Was my experience normal?
2. Has anyone else with similar mental health issues had a similar experience using THC?

i dont think what u described is normal, i wouldn't recommend you keep using it. if you're prone to hallucinations already it'll just make it worse

i sometimes have weird experiences depending on the strain it is, i've noticed with sativa it'll look like my walls are growing or i'm in a stop motion movie but no full on hallucinations. i've been smoking for years and have a good high most of the time.
THC can def amplify anxiety though so if it's really bad i just don't smoke that day