sick.faery
♡
- Mar 18, 2021
- 295
gonna preface this by saying i'm drunk, so if what i say is weird you know why
so basically my main problem (though have lots) that push me to suicide is a potential body dysmorphic disorder. i was technically formally diagnosed with it twice (and with a pretty extreme case of it to lol), even saw a famous specialist for it, but i mean the doctors could be lying to me you never know. other mental health professionals have agreed or suggested i def have this too even though they couldnt diagnose me. random people before that learned about my insecurities have siuggested i have thos too. body dysmorphic disorder is basically when your average or good looking and you think certain facial features or your whole face or other physical features of your body are ugly when they're not and that you react extremely to that and have extreme behaviors. now i'm not going to ask you if i look pretty or not with selfies or to tell me if the doctors were being for real or not (done that so many times) but just based on my interraction with guys can you tell me how you think i should look maybe?
like i have extreme social anxiety because of this so i havent left my house really that much in 5 years, so this is mainlu from before (and on top of that i had an overweight bmi for this stuff. now i'm normal). so anyways since i was about 15 i've had a lot of dudes hit on me and stuff. usually they werent ugly, just normal or good looking (though apparently ugly people see people better looking then they really are). i have a bod count of about 13 if you count just sex (12 from when i was 17-18) only once like a couple months ago. though at school no one liked me (i was an introverted loser too who never talked to dudes though and was fat). if you count other stuff it's in the 20s. people did say i had a pretty face and adults have often randomly complimented me on that often saying that if i lost weight i'd be super pretty or whatever when i was fat, but they could just be feeling sorry for me. i'm not sure if i(ve ever been called ugly by anyone but fat yess. anyways for sex and stuff preztty much any guy i hit on was down. but like guys have no standards for sex for girls. the only recent think that happened like that is that i wondered around drunk in my village. some dude picked me up and we fucked (he ended up drinking before we did it so consentual). the funny thing is i had no makeup and he still treated me nicely when he sobered up and took me home (i have bad skin. though cant say if people would treat me badly with no skin makeup or not since for the last 8 years never went ourside with makeip). i went to see him again (drunk) and he wanted to define the relationship lol. i really really pushed myself to go out in months yesterday and everyone was nice to me, not mistreating me. the question is, is these stuff ossible for someone under a 5, a 5 or do you need to be prettier to have this?
so basically my main problem (though have lots) that push me to suicide is a potential body dysmorphic disorder. i was technically formally diagnosed with it twice (and with a pretty extreme case of it to lol), even saw a famous specialist for it, but i mean the doctors could be lying to me you never know. other mental health professionals have agreed or suggested i def have this too even though they couldnt diagnose me. random people before that learned about my insecurities have siuggested i have thos too. body dysmorphic disorder is basically when your average or good looking and you think certain facial features or your whole face or other physical features of your body are ugly when they're not and that you react extremely to that and have extreme behaviors. now i'm not going to ask you if i look pretty or not with selfies or to tell me if the doctors were being for real or not (done that so many times) but just based on my interraction with guys can you tell me how you think i should look maybe?
like i have extreme social anxiety because of this so i havent left my house really that much in 5 years, so this is mainlu from before (and on top of that i had an overweight bmi for this stuff. now i'm normal). so anyways since i was about 15 i've had a lot of dudes hit on me and stuff. usually they werent ugly, just normal or good looking (though apparently ugly people see people better looking then they really are). i have a bod count of about 13 if you count just sex (12 from when i was 17-18) only once like a couple months ago. though at school no one liked me (i was an introverted loser too who never talked to dudes though and was fat). if you count other stuff it's in the 20s. people did say i had a pretty face and adults have often randomly complimented me on that often saying that if i lost weight i'd be super pretty or whatever when i was fat, but they could just be feeling sorry for me. i'm not sure if i(ve ever been called ugly by anyone but fat yess. anyways for sex and stuff preztty much any guy i hit on was down. but like guys have no standards for sex for girls. the only recent think that happened like that is that i wondered around drunk in my village. some dude picked me up and we fucked (he ended up drinking before we did it so consentual). the funny thing is i had no makeup and he still treated me nicely when he sobered up and took me home (i have bad skin. though cant say if people would treat me badly with no skin makeup or not since for the last 8 years never went ourside with makeip). i went to see him again (drunk) and he wanted to define the relationship lol. i really really pushed myself to go out in months yesterday and everyone was nice to me, not mistreating me. the question is, is these stuff ossible for someone under a 5, a 5 or do you need to be prettier to have this?
