Help do i recover or not!??

[thr0waway12345]

i don't want to stop cutting or taking drugs but i want my friend back and my life back and idk i just feel so awful i want to die but i don't want to die alone im so scared right now please i don't know if it's worth it

 

[getoutgirl]

If there is a part of you that wants to recover and get your shit together, I think you should try. It is H A R D. you know that. I get every bit of wanting to die and the dread of just living.
But to your question, it can be worth it. If there is still hope in you. Cling to it and hold it close to you. Surround yourself of as many helping hands as you can. That part is the most important one imo. It's your choice, but whatever you do it shouldn't have to be alone. And I think that if you want to recover, that is posible, and you can do it. That's my opinion. In any case lots of hugs take it easy whenever you can <3

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Recovery is always an option but you have to want it because it can a hard and long and painful process but if the end results are what you want (your friend, your life) then it can be worth it. Also recovery isn't linear, you can slip back for a lot of reasons but if that happens you have to be kind to yourself and keep going (if you want to).

Also while recovering for others is great, you have to make sure it is what you want as well, because if something happens to these outside reasons (they leave, etc) it can make recovery hard

So ask yourself

Do I want to recover?

Am I recovering for myself or someone else?

Will I want to continue to recover if I am doing it for someone else and this person is no longer in my life?

 

[Exhausted-and-Alone]

I'm of the mind that you should choose for yourself, it's not fair for me to say you absolutely should never attempt or what have you, especially from a hypocrite like me. What I will also say is that often times, if you're not completely set on dying, your SI will probably get in the way and you will likely give yourself a good bit of trauma that you have to work through on top of what you already have to process should you choose to recover. I've had flashbacks myself of past attempts and they can be quite visceral so my concern would be that if you did decide to do it, but don't "go all the way", you could potentially put yourself in a worse position physically and mentally than if you had just sought help to begin with.

I respect your decision, but I'd recommend seeking help first especially since it seems like there's SOME part of you that wants to live and recover. Whatever you choose I wish you peace.