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nerdtears

New Member
Oct 2, 2022
2
At least it is for me! I've been rejected from every top school and more!!! And YES, I check all of the boxes. Black, gay, female, first generation college student. Ironically, I do have a stellar resume. So why do I keep getting rejected? Because none of my hard work really mattered to begin with. And I did work very, very hard. Some people are just destined to fail in this world. I was one of them.

The real truth is that the kids who get in have pedigrees. Family names. Lineages that can allow them to coast through admissions. I don't have that. People aren't getting in because they're Black or female, they got in because of their last names! Neither of my parents even have their Bachelor's. It was a losing game from the start. And I wish I saw that earlier.

What really pisses me off is that "You have to work 2-3X as harder to get blah blah blah" mentality. That's the kind of bullshit I was raised with. But why the hell would I want to put in all that time and effort just to get nothing? That's a miserable life I've been conditioned to live.

Currently, I have no academic affiliation. That's right. I didn't get in anywhere. Everyday I sit in my room and stare at the math awards and trophies that have amounted to absolutely nothing. I also hear a lot about "getting my pick of the litter" because of my demographics. You know how aggravating that is when I'm the living proof it's a lie?


One reason it angers me is because I did believe in it. At some point you do start believing that, hey, maybe all of the racism, sexism and homophobia I deal with will pay off when I apply here. It'll open doors for me, so maybe there's some truth in it. Maybe it'll show my perseverance. Then I get rejected again.

If I did take my own life, people would say "She was so intelligent! Why did she do it?" Because being textbook-intelligent in this world is a vice, not a virtue. I want peace.

I'm The Myth of Sisyphus. And someday I'll be brave enough to choose peace. For now, I'm just tired.
 
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S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
At least it is for me! I've been rejected from every top school and more!!! And YES, I check all of the boxes. Black, gay, female, first generation college student. Ironically, I do have a stellar resume. So why do I keep getting rejected? Because none of my hard work really mattered to begin with. And I did work very, very hard. Some people are just destined to fail in this world. I was one of them.

The real truth is that the kids who get in have pedigrees. Family names. Lineages that can allow them to coast through admissions. I don't have that. People aren't getting in because they're Black or female, they got in because of their last names! Neither of my parents even have their Bachelor's. It was a losing game from the start. And I wish I saw that earlier.

What really pisses me off is that "You have to work 2-3X as harder to get blah blah blah" mentality. That's the kind of bullshit I was raised with. But why the hell would I want to put in all that time and effort just to get nothing? That's a miserable life I've been conditioned to live.

Currently, I have no academic affiliation. That's right. I didn't get in anywhere. Everyday I sit in my room and stare at the math awards and trophies that have amounted to absolutely nothing. I also hear a lot about "getting my pick of the litter" because of my demographics. You know how aggravating that is when I'm the living proof it's a lie?


One reason it angers me is because I did believe in it. At some point you do start believing that, hey, maybe all of the racism, sexism and homophobia I deal with will pay off when I apply here. It'll open doors for me, so maybe there's some truth in it. Maybe it'll show my perseverance. Then I get rejected again.

If I did take my own life, people would say "She was so intelligent! Why did she do it?" Because being textbook-intelligent in this world is a vice, not a virtue. I want peace.

I'm The Myth of Sisyphus. And someday I'll be brave enough to choose peace. For now, I'm just tired.
I live in a city where in order to get into the state university all you have to do is to be in the upper 75% of your high school class- or do some studying and pass some other tests to get in, and I know many people who went there who have gone on to the best careers you can think of with top companies- getting a degree from any college can open a lot of doors.
 
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nerdtears

New Member
Oct 2, 2022
2
I live in a city where in order to get into the state university all you have to do is to be in the upper 75% of your high school class- or do some studying and pass some other tests to get in, and I know many people who went there who have gone on to the best careers you can think of with top companies- getting a degree from any college can open a lot of doors.
Thank you for bringing me back down to Earth a little bit. My fixation with elite universities and their alumni networks has recently tripled because Nobel Laureates for 2022 were just announced. You're absolutely right, I should consider a state school. The only reason I didn't was because I was in search of "glory". I was very egotistical in my application process with the schools I chose.
 
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Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
Thank you for bringing me back down to Earth a little bit. My fixation with elite universities and their alumni networks has recently tripled because Nobel Laureates for 2022 were just announced. You're absolutely right, I should consider a state school. The only reason I didn't was because I was in search of "glory". I was very egotistical in my application process with the schools I chose.
You were lead that way by the promtion of these other schools, so don't think of yorself as egotistical for this, but you can definitely get a great career from them, and often with much less debt.
 
J

JustSwingingTheD

Experienced
Jan 31, 2022
204
At least it is for me! I've been rejected from every top school and more!!! And YES, I check all of the boxes. Black, gay, female, first generation college student. Ironically, I do have a stellar resume. So why do I keep getting rejected? Because none of my hard work really mattered to begin with. And I did work very, very hard. Some people are just destined to fail in this world. I was one of them.

The real truth is that the kids who get in have pedigrees. Family names. Lineages that can allow them to coast through admissions. I don't have that. People aren't getting in because they're Black or female, they got in because of their last names! Neither of my parents even have their Bachelor's. It was a losing game from the start. And I wish I saw that earlier.

What really pisses me off is that "You have to work 2-3X as harder to get blah blah blah" mentality. That's the kind of bullshit I was raised with. But why the hell would I want to put in all that time and effort just to get nothing? That's a miserable life I've been conditioned to live.

Currently, I have no academic affiliation. That's right. I didn't get in anywhere. Everyday I sit in my room and stare at the math awards and trophies that have amounted to absolutely nothing. I also hear a lot about "getting my pick of the litter" because of my demographics. You know how aggravating that is when I'm the living proof it's a lie?


One reason it angers me is because I did believe in it. At some point you do start believing that, hey, maybe all of the racism, sexism and homophobia I deal with will pay off when I apply here. It'll open doors for me, so maybe there's some truth in it. Maybe it'll show my perseverance. Then I get rejected again.

If I did take my own life, people would say "She was so intelligent! Why did she do it?" Because being textbook-intelligent in this world is a vice, not a virtue. I want peace.

I'm The Myth of Sisyphus. And someday I'll be brave enough to choose peace. For now, I'm just tired.
So which is it, wrong surname or being destined to fail?

Or maybe you just aren't as intelligent as you thought? Wouldn't it be intelligent from you to be able to admit this to yourself?

I don't see what your problem is. So study more. If you don't feel like it then do something else for a while. I got an iq of 120 and i wipe asses for a living. My life would be pretty much okay if i wasn't ugly on top of that.
 
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S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
So which is it, wrong surname or being destined to fail?

Or maybe you just aren't as intelligent as you thought? Wouldn't it be intelligent from you to be able to admit this to yourself?

I don't see what your problem is. So study more. If you don't feel like it then do something else for a while. I got an iq of 120 and i wipe asses for a living. My life would be pretty much okay if i wasn't ugly on top of that.
This comment seems unfairly mean and harsh to me.
 
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B

BGooG

Member
Aug 26, 2022
88
There is a significant over-fixation on Ivy League institutions, which leads to unrealistical competitiveness. Here's an interesting fact. The number of students taught by the University of Toronto, McGill University, and the University of British Columbia far exceeds the number of students taught in all of the Ivy League schools combined. Admisssion cutoffs for these schools hover around 75%, are based SOLELY on grades, typically of your top 6 grade 12 classes, and still cost about 1/3 of what you'd pay at an Ivy, even with international tuition. There is no looking at extra-curriculars, who you know, or your family lineage. It's straight academic performance. These schools are routinely listed among the best in the world, frequently in the top 10 for public institutions (all Canadian schools are public).

Moral of the story - there are lots of incredibly good schools out there, that will open doors for you upon getting your degree. Sure, give the "elites" a shot. But if they don't work out, f@#* them; they're not the only game in town.
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,824
At least it is for me! I've been rejected from every top school and more!!! And YES, I check all of the boxes. Black, gay, female, first generation college student. Ironically, I do have a stellar resume. So why do I keep getting rejected? Because none of my hard work really mattered to begin with. And I did work very, very hard. Some people are just destined to fail in this world. I was one of them.

The real truth is that the kids who get in have pedigrees. Family names. Lineages that can allow them to coast through admissions. I don't have that. People aren't getting in because they're Black or female, they got in because of their last names! Neither of my parents even have their Bachelor's. It was a losing game from the start. And I wish I saw that earlier.

What really pisses me off is that "You have to work 2-3X as harder to get blah blah blah" mentality. That's the kind of bullshit I was raised with. But why the hell would I want to put in all that time and effort just to get nothing? That's a miserable life I've been conditioned to live.

Currently, I have no academic affiliation. That's right. I didn't get in anywhere. Everyday I sit in my room and stare at the math awards and trophies that have amounted to absolutely nothing. I also hear a lot about "getting my pick of the litter" because of my demographics. You know how aggravating that is when I'm the living proof it's a lie?


One reason it angers me is because I did believe in it. At some point you do start believing that, hey, maybe all of the racism, sexism and homophobia I deal with will pay off when I apply here. It'll open doors for me, so maybe there's some truth in it. Maybe it'll show my perseverance. Then I get rejected again.

If I did take my own life, people would say "She was so intelligent! Why did she do it?" Because being textbook-intelligent in this world is a vice, not a virtue. I want peace.

I'm The Myth of Sisyphus. And someday I'll be brave enough to choose peace. For now, I'm just tired.
Sorry to hear this, its the real truth in all countries today
 
S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
Moral of the story - there are lots of incredibly good schools out there, that will open doors for you upon getting your degree. Sure, give the "elites" a shot. But if they don't work out, f@#* them; they're not the only game in town.
That is true- I know people who have become top executives at fortune 500 companies who went to the 4th or 5th best state school in the state- people I went to grade school or high school with. These are jobs most ivy league grads would kill for, the college doesnt matter as much as many people think.
 
makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
An education is still an education. After you obtain your degree(s), you might still achieve excellence in your chosen profession. Much love to you.
 
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B

BGooG

Member
Aug 26, 2022
88
There is a significant over-fixation on Ivy League institutions, which leads to unrealistical competitiveness. Here's an interesting fact. The number of students taught by the University of Toronto, McGill University, and the University of British Columbia far exceeds the number of students taught in all of the Ivy League schools combined. Admisssion cutoffs for these schools hover around 75%, are based SOLELY on grades, typically of your top 6 grade 12 classes, and still cost about 1/3 of what you'd pay at an Ivy, even with international tuition. There is no looking at extra-curriculars, who you know, or your family lineage. It's straight academic performance. These schools are routinely listed among the best in the world, frequently in the top 10 for public institutions (all Canadian schools are public).
Moral of the story - there are lots of incredibly good schools out there, that will open doors for you upon getting your degree. Sure, give the "elites" a shot. But if they don't work out, f@#* them; they're not the only game in town.
Just read over my post, and was chagrined to realize that I forgot to tell you how sorry I was about your experience. Regardless of whether good alternatives exist (they do), what you went through is upsetting and demoralizing, and you every reason to be both cynical and angry about the process. I empathize, and sincerely hope that you will move on positively from here. You sound like an extremely bright, motivated, hard working young woman, someone whom any college or university would be lucky to count among their students. I have no doubt you will find your fit.
 
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J

JustSwingingTheD

Experienced
Jan 31, 2022
204
This comment seems unfairly mean and harsh to me.
I'm saying you are blowing this out of proportion. So you didn't get to a top university? If you really wish to kill yourself then you must have some other reasons than this.

You are clearly under a lot of pressure and you need to find out how to cool it down or you are going to crash and burn, top university or no top university.

I think that the highest form of intelligence might just be being able to establish the level of your own intelligence in relation to others, and choosing your path accordingly. If you are able to do this, you are less likely to end up with too much on your plate, or with bitterness about aiming too low.

Why live in denial? It sucks big time. I'd rather know for sure that i'm dumb, than falsely believe that i'm smart. Fuck those who say you have to accept yourself the way you are too, you can alternatively always off yourself.
 
hungry_ghost

hungry_ghost

جهاد
Feb 21, 2022
516
How many schools did you apply to?

Only the top ones you desired, or did you apply to others?

I feel like it would be impossible to not get in anywhere, unless you only applied to a handful of schools that you wanted to get into.

You don't need an Ivy League school to be successful.

You're clearly skilled and intelligent - use that advantage to find a way around this obstacle.
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,620
I get the awful impression that education institutes are just run as businesses now- out to make as much money as possible. Not to say the individual teacher's aren't still passionate about what they do.

I really get the sense now that you can pay to play as it were- rather than it truly being about someone's ability and potential. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I am really.

I'm sorry life has thrown you this curved ball. I do appreciate how upsetting it is. I was utterly obsessed with getting on a particular course at a particular university. I was lucky enough to get in but as is so often the case in life- it was a huge disappointment really. Probably my 'fault' in part because I chose the wrong subject.

I really hope things work out for you and this doesn't stop you from trying other routes. All the very best.
 

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