Venting dissociation is back now that i’m back in the US

[synthcadia]

so hello, i'm back.

i wasn't on here cause i was in china and i actually felt happier. like i felt more grounded.

and now, i feel like i am in a dream, or i'm not real. i picture myself getting into car crashes or something where i die not by my own hand.

do i really want that? not yet. when i have lost everything, then yes.

being in the US is like being in a paradise-like prison. i have food, shower, but i can always see the bars, even if i am treated well.

i feel floaty and dreamlike, and i just kinda want to say "fuck it all" to everything. i dunno.

this sucks.

 

[unlovablefreakloser]

Mmmmm

 

[bugunmasked]

mood tbh