Dissatisfaction

[Emillss]

Does anyone else feel like no matter what their situation is - good or bad - they'll never be satisfied with life? I feel like I absolutely have to kill myself. I'm not sure if it's because of trauma or just a general dislike for living. Three years ago, I was at the worst point in my life. Things have definitely gotten better since then, but I'm still dissatisfied. I'm not really a demanding person and I feel like I live a relatively "good" life, but I feel just about the same as I did then

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I feel this way. I finally found out that I may be actually good at something, and that's what was causing me to want to die before, having no place in life or something I'm good at. Yet, this is starting to make no difference. I'm still dissatisfied wanting to kill myself. It really makes no sense, I thought all I needed was a passion or an obsession, now I have it! Yet it's not enough for me anymore. Maybe because it's not my primary passion that I'm doing, but idk this still should change how dissatisfied I feel. I think I just want to die regardless of this new ability I found. Maybe like you said, I have a general dislike for living.

 

[fedup1982]

I'm pretty sure I'll always want to be dead. It started when I was 6 and continues to this day in my early 40s. But whether I'll act on it again is unknown. If I could get some Nembutal it would just be a matter of time til I took it. Right now I have a very comfortable life rn but if I was told "this is your one chance to die peacefully, yes or no" there's a good chance I'd take it. If I could die peacefully without hurting anyone, I'd take it without a moments hesitation

 

[kopebaldy]

I feel like when life is "good", it's at best "breathable".

But when it's bad oh boy it sucking sucks.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I feel like this. That even my best case scenario would be riddled with problems and discomfort. Plus, just realistically speaking- life won't get easier as I grow older.

Some of my reasoning feels backed up by experience. I've already started my life afresh a few times. Really strived for things I thought would make me feel better and, ultimately, they haven't. Plus, being in my mid 40's feels harder physically than in my 20's or 30's. Why would it get better as I age?

 

[Rynalia]

I don't have a goal or a destination. I couldn't even make one up, because I immediately get assaulted by the "this doesn't feel right" feeling. I'm a piece of a puzzle that doesn't have a puzzle to fit into.

Even if I just go with it and force myself into whatever it may be, the dissatisfaction grows and eventually I snap and land back at the start. I can't begin to count the number of times I've gone off and "reset" my life, pivoting to something else.

No matter what happens good or bad, it doesn't drive me forward in any direction. I've been perpetually stuck in this cycle and it's absolutely just getting worse every time. I'm not getting any younger, and it certainly isn't getting any better.

I don't have the will nor the means to live to see when "it gets better". I'm certainly not the type to believe in things that people can't put a time to.

Death is the only certainty, and unlike things getting better, I can put a date on when it happens. That in itself is the most satisfying thing.