Disgusted with myself.

[meowmeowkitty]

I genuinely am disgusted with myself, and it's like the more fucked up i become mentally the more fucked up my interest become, the more fucked up my kinks become. I hate it for myself, the kind of porn i find myself watching is absolutely disgusting and i can't help but feel like shit after i finish, i haven't even been feeling super suicidal recently but my mind is honestly started to scare me, having more violent, more graphic thoughts and dreams.. having to watch violent or disgusting porn just to get me off, im starting to worry myself. maybe i should just speed up the process of ctb, hasn't really been in the plans lately but, my past attempts were spontaneous. I'm kinda scared to make friends on here too bc i don't want to get too real or too vulnerable but who's the fuck else do i talk to :/ why do i always circle back to toxicity?

 

[CursedReality88]

If you aren't really actively trying to ctb, I would recommend you to go the opposite direction. Like you have realized, the more you engage in those experiences, the more you'd be comfortable with it. You can change your mindset, a lot of life is just perspective. Letting go of past is key as well. Live in the present, work on more positive interests, find online or offline friends/groups to occupy yourself with.

Think about it, even if you had everything you wanted, if you keep dwelling into depression you'd never be satisfied. You'd always be depressed. Try the opposite for awhile and see if it gets better! This site is filled with people who wants t ctb ofc it'd be a bad place for your mental health lol but not all of us are that deep in yet. Life can be beautiful, and I'm saying that even tho I failed at it. If you think otherwise, enjoy your stay here and hope you find a peaceful way out! Best wishes!

 

[Aisley]

This is why I really try to make sure I pick a different category from the last like five times, every time. You hear about people who can't get off anymore, and I couldn't live with such emptiness.
if you feel like shit afterwards, then you're not really getting anywhere, are you? But maybe, for guilt free stuff, maybe fan fiction? Unlike porn, no one is harmed in the making of it - if that's what's bothering you.

 

[absolomonisgone]

I genuinely am disgusted with myself, and it's like the more fucked up i become mentally the more fucked up my interest become, the more fucked up my kinks become. I hate it for myself, the kind of porn i find myself watching is absolutely disgusting and i can't help but feel like shit after i finish, i haven't even been feeling super suicidal recently but my mind is honestly started to scare me, having more violent, more graphic thoughts and dreams.. having to watch violent or disgusting porn just to get me off, im starting to worry myself. maybe i should just speed up the process of ctb, hasn't really been in the plans lately but, my past attempts were spontaneous. I'm kinda scared to make friends on here too bc i don't want to get too real or too vulnerable but who's the fuck else do i talk to :/ why do i always circle back to toxicity?

Don't watch porn. Unless you watch it with other guys, if in college...., I don't want to sound preachy, but- - never do anything which you can never do with another person around (except defecation). That way, you will always respect yourself- even you will respect your suicide

 

[alrondlondo]

Yes, I got hooked myself, now I'm trying to quit as quickly as possible, it's quite difficult, an extremely strong addiction. There is nothing to advise here except to try to stop watching with all your might.

 

[Slasher]

Best thing you can do even tho it's easier said than done is just quit for a while. Porn is very easily accesible and a lot of people get hypersexual or oversexed (if thats even a word but ykwim). It's like any other drug, the more you do of it the more you'll need. The more porn you watch the more you'll need to finish. What you could also do if you don't want to give it up is just slow down for a bit and try photos or even your imagination to finish, i've heard this works from a few people. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

A lot of people watch porn - Well I even spoke
about this to the last guy I was seeing and we both admitted to watching porn and I don't find it disgusting. I wouldn't care even dating someone who watches porn as it's just acting and well yeah it's just adults having sex. I watch all sorts of porn and I have been doing so since in my 20s.

People have different opinions though when it comes porn but if you feel disgusted then you can stop from watching it.

In the end you do you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

A lot of people watch porn - Well I even spoke
about this to the last guy I was seeing and we both admitted to watching porn and I don't find it disgusting. I wouldn't care even dating someone who watches porn as it's just acting and well yeah it's just adults having sex. I watch all sorts of porn and I have been doing so since in my 20s.

People have different opinions though when it comes porn but if you feel disgusted then you can stop from watching it.

In the end you do you.

If it's becoming more and more violent though- as the OP suggests- I can understand why they are feeling worried. Not to accuse them of being the next Ted Bundy of course (!) but this is where he identified his trouble starting- an addiction to extremely violent porn. I guess the concern is- what happens when even the most extreme kinds don't satisfy? BDSM? Ok- that's consensual. What if that stops working though? Not saying the OP will go out and start hurting people- but perhaps they are afraid of getting to the stage where they WANT to. Can't be fun fighting those urges all the time. I guess it depends whether there is a strong enough divide between fantasy and reality- which only the OP will know.

Personally- I agree with what others are saying though. Maybe try and give it a rest for now. Use you're imagination- you must have loads of scenarios in there by now. Maybe look into the psychology behind it too. That was interesting for me. I saw a documentary about sexual fantasies once and it briefly explained the reasons behind some of them. Like- the need to dominate in the bedroom may be because the person feels like they have less power in real life. Many women have rape or bondage fantasies- that DEFINITELY doesn't mean they want to experience the real thing. Supposedly- it can be in response to feeling guilty about sex- so- if you imagine it is being forced upon you- you don't have that guilt. I found it interesting- plus- it kind of lessens the solely sexual side of it. Instead of worrying that you're a pervert- you can start to think why you need to feel that certain thing. It can be intense at the time but ultimately- it's just to get that fix- then you can move on.

I guess it does really depend on what type of porn you're attracted to- if it's heading in the direction of being illegal and it's making you start to want to do illegal things then I'd say it's responsible that you've realised that- but you do likely need to address it before it gets out of control. I think porn addiction is pretty common. I don't know how good they'd be but I'm sure there are resources out there. I hope you can feel more at ease with it if appropriate- or, find ways to reduce your consumption.

 

[realname]

This haunts me also and is a main reason I want to ctb. Shame around sex stuff. It's all linked to abuse and I know but still feel disgusting/diseased and it doesn't go away just regrows like cancer

 

[The anhedonic one]

Even mild porn is bad for the brain.
Porn is obviously addictive.
I used to be a porn addict myself.
But the problem with porn, or any other addiction, us that you get used to it, so need stronger stuff to get the same buzz.
So sorry you are going through this.
It must be awful.
I hope you find a way through things, and wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

If it's becoming more and more violent though- as the OP suggests- I can understand why they are feeling worried. Not to accuse them of being the next Ted Bundy of course (!) but this is where he identified his trouble starting- an addiction to extremely violent porn. I guess the concern is- what happens when even the most extreme kinds don't satisfy? BDSM? Ok- that's consensual. What if that stops working though? Not saying the OP will go out and start hurting people- but perhaps they are afraid of getting to the stage where they WANT to. Can't be fun fighting those urges all the time. I guess it depends whether there is a strong enough divide between fantasy and reality- which only the OP will know.

Personally- I agree with what others are saying though. Maybe try and give it a rest for now. Use you're imagination- you must have loads of scenarios in there by now. Maybe look into the psychology behind it too. That was interesting for me. I saw a documentary about sexual fantasies once and it briefly explained the reasons behind some of them. Like- the need to dominate in the bedroom may be because the person feels like they have less power in real life. Many women have rape or bondage fantasies- that DEFINITELY doesn't mean they want to experience the real thing. Supposedly- it can be in response to feeling guilty about sex- so- if you imagine it is being forced upon you- you don't have that guilt. I found it interesting- plus- it kind of lessens the solely sexual side of it. Instead of worrying that you're a pervert- you can start to think why you need to feel that certain thing. It can be intense at the time but ultimately- it's just to get that fix- then you can move on.

I guess it does really depend on what type of porn you're attracted to- if it's heading in the direction of being illegal and it's making you start to want to do illegal things then I'd say it's responsible that you've realised that- but you do likely need to address it before it gets out of control. I think porn addiction is pretty common. I don't know how good they'd be but I'm sure there are resources out there. I hope you can feel more at ease with it if appropriate- or, find ways to reduce your consumption.

I wouldn't know about op but I think she said kinky or something of that sort. Me i like porn and I will watch it until I complete my ctb which should be very soon, I actually prefer watching porn than normal sex but that's just me.

I don't watch violent sex though but people have preferences when it comes to sex and it's nothing to be ashamed of as long as adults are involved. Sex is how everyone is created and almost everyone in this world ( adult age) would have at least had sex with someone.

It's a free world as long as both parties want to do it then why not.

As for me no one can tell me or dictate how I should live unless if I were to ask for advice or your opinion.

People are too concerned with what others do in their private life like OMG just go away unless if someone ask for advice like OP then I can understand.

 

[Vizzy]

I genuinely am disgusted with myself, and it's like the more fucked up i become mentally the more fucked up my interest become, the more fucked up my kinks become. I hate it for myself, the kind of porn i find myself watching is absolutely disgusting and i can't help but feel like shit after i finish, i haven't even been feeling super suicidal recently but my mind is honestly started to scare me, having more violent, more graphic thoughts and dreams.. having to watch violent or disgusting porn just to get me off, im starting to worry myself. maybe i should just speed up the process of ctb, hasn't really been in the plans lately but, my past attempts were spontaneous. I'm kinda scared to make friends on here too bc i don't want to get too real or too vulnerable but who's the fuck else do i talk to :/ why do i always circle back to toxicity?

Best way to fight watching porn or addiction to porn is by doing the sex itself so you don't get urges to watch porn, don't find some random guys or guys who are bad in sex to do sex because it will make porn addiction worse

Find a companion or a trustable partner who is good in bed with whom you can have good sex whenever you want, who knows to work with your body and know what he/she does without being shamed or judged, having a good sex partner really helps with porn addiction

Being sexual is a not a toxic thing!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wouldn't know about op but I think she said kinky or something of that sort. Me i like porn and I will watch it until I complete my ctb which should be very soon, I actually prefer watching porn than normal sex but that's just me.

I don't watch violent sex though but people have preferences when it comes to sex and it's nothing to be ashamed of as long as adults are involved. Sex is how everyone is created and almost everyone in this world ( adult age) would have at least had sex with someone.

It's a free world as long as both parties want to do it then why not.

As for me no one can tell me or dictate how I should live unless if I were to ask for advice or your opinion.

People are too concerned with what others do in their private life like OMG just go away unless if someone ask for advice like OP then I can understand.

Oh yeah- absolutely agree. Kink is fine. Anything is fine really if it's consensual. Sorry- I very likely misinterpreted and jumped to conclusions. So sorry OP. I didn't look at your profile name or anything. Just kind of assumed it was a guy into violent porn and saw possible red flags. Again- not to say all men who like violent porn ARE violent but it can go that way I believe.

No- I agree with you @Goodgirlryeo101 - what each of us finds exciting is very individual. I'd never admit to some of the things I imagine! Lol. Still- if it is becoming distressing for the OP- I think maybe they should start questioning why they are finding these thoughts appealing- because it seems like they are also feeling distressed and disgusted by them. If they are fantasizing about being humiliated for instance- I don't know of course- I'm guessing again at what they could mean by 'disgusting' but- maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask why they feel the need for that.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Oh yeah- absolutely agree. Kink is fine. Anything is fine really if it's consensual. Sorry- I very likely misinterpreted and jumped to conclusions. So sorry OP. I didn't look at your profile name or anything. Just kind of assumed it was a guy into violent porn and saw possible red flags. Again- not to say all men who like violent porn ARE violent but it can go that way I believe.

No- I agree with you @Goodgirlryeo101 - what each of us finds exciting is very individual. I'd never admit to some of the things I imagine! Lol. Still- if it is becoming distressing for the OP- I think maybe they should start questioning why they are finding these thoughts appealing- because it seems like they are also feeling distressed and disgusted by them. If they are fantasizing about being humiliated for instance- I don't know of course- I'm guessing again at what they could mean by 'disgusting' but- maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask why they feel the need for that.

Does anyone fantasize about being humiliated??
Maybe other people do but then again I read somewhere today where someone was talking about how pain in sex is amazing but it couldn't be me.

Porn is sex??? Why would anyone should be ashamed of it ?? Haha! That's how you were created and that's why there is things like sex education in schools.

That's why people shouldn't try to pry what other people do in their private life. Most of the people I spoke to before admitted to me to watching porn.

In the end you do you and I do me

 

[Forever Sleep]

Does anyone fantasize about being humiliated??
Maybe other people do but then again I read somewhere today where someone was talking about how pain in sex is amazing but it couldn't be me.

Porn is sex??? Why would anyone should be ashamed of it ?? Haha! That's how you were created and that's why there is things like sex education in schools.

That's why people shouldn't try to pry what other people do in their private life. Most of the people I spoke to before admitted to me to watching porn.

In the end you do you and I do me

People fantasize about all sorts. No lie- this documentary I watched had this cool biker guy who said he fantasized about being inside a rubber box or coffin (I forget) that had holes in while a naked fat woman sat on top and farted on him. Like you say- each to their own . I've always regarded sexual fantasies to be a bit like phobias- we don't always know where they come from. But yeah sure- I think some people do get off on being humiliated. I've never really understood why women let men wee on them for instance. Do they really enjoy that? Do they find it empowering? Maybe they do. I don't know. Maybe they just put up with it to make their partners happy.

It also depends on your upbringing. I had an extremely strict upbringing. No sex before marriage and you don't sleep around. I think in some ways- FOR ME- it became something kind of dirty. I'm not saying that's right or natural- it's just what happened in my case. Good job too- I'm an anti-natilist. Of course- if/when you decide to rebel against that- that side of it can become exciting because it is taboo. We're all different- we've all come from different backgrounds. Some poor people here will have suffered sexual abuse which can also affect how you view it.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not criticising you- or anyone else for that matter for watching porn. It's up to you. It's not like I've never watched it. I was curious at one point.

I'm just responding to the OP saying they are feeling disturbed by how they feel. I'm NOT saying they should be. I'm NOT saying they have cause to be. I have no idea. I don't know what they're in to and I can't see inside their head. It's just- if THEY want to feel better about it- they probably either need to realise it's just a kink and it's fine- or- for whatever reason- it's leading them somewhere they don't want to go. That's all. I wasn't trying to have a go at anyone. My apologies if that's how it came across.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

No lie- this documentary I watched had this cool biker guy who said he fantasized about being inside a rubber box or coffin (I forget) that had holes in while a naked fat woman sat on top and farted on him. Like you say- each to their own . I

Yeah I totally believe you , people like all sorts of things I suppose (I think I even watched that documentary before) but the naked "fat" naked was being called "mupengo" by the man (pardon me if I'm wrong) and also she liked being humiliated and disrespected by him but would still do anything for him.

I think that's the one, I'm pretty sure that's the one.

 

[Aisley]

People fantasize about all sorts. No lie- this documentary I watched had this cool biker guy who said he fantasized about being inside a rubber box or coffin (I forget) that had holes in while a naked fat woman sat on top and farted on him. Like you say- each to their own . I've always regarded sexual fantasies to be a bit like phobias- we don't always know where they come from. But yeah sure- I think some people do get off on being humiliated. I've never really understood why women let men wee on them for instance. Do they really enjoy that? Do they find it empowering? Maybe they do. I don't know. Maybe they just put up with it to make their partners happy.

I've been with men and women, and a few of the men wanted to be pissed on. Never did a woman bring that up. Led me to the conclusion that pissing is mostly a hang-up of guys, and that's why it's in porn in the first place. Funny story, super pointless. XD I'll see myself out. XD

 

[Vizzy]

People fantasize about all sorts. No lie- this documentary I watched had this cool biker guy who said he fantasized about being inside a rubber box or coffin (I forget) that had holes in while a naked fat woman sat on top and farted on him. Like you say- each to their own . I've always regarded sexual fantasies to be a bit like phobias- we don't always know where they come from. But yeah sure- I think some people do get off on being humiliated. I've never really understood why women let men wee on them for instance. Do they really enjoy that? Do they find it empowering? Maybe they do. I don't know. Maybe they just put up with it to make their partners happy.

Some ladies really like it, in the past I had some lady partners who liked to be urinated on them. Many partners asked me to urinate on their breast atleast they wanna try once but only one asked me to do it on the mouth because she is a freak.

You are right everyone have different types of fantasies, some of the partners I had asked me to humiliate them by slapping, trash talking and pulling their hair so yea I do think some ladies like to be humiliated and wee on!

I've been with men and women, and a few of the men wanted to be pissed on. Never did a woman bring that up. Led me to the conclusion that pissing is mostly a hang-up of guys, and that's why it's in porn in the first place. Funny story, super pointless. XD I'll see myself out. XD

Some ladies liked to be pissed on, it is not always a men thing as it can be a girl thing too

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Some ladies really like it, in the past I had some lady partners who liked to be urinated on them. Many partners asked me to urinate on their breast atleast they wanna try once but only one asked me to do it on the mouth because she is a freak.

You are right everyone have different types of fantasies, some of the partners I had asked me to humiliate them by slapping, trash talking and pulling their hair so yea I do think some ladies like to be humiliated and wee on!

Urinated that's not my thing but I don't want to judge anyone who does.

Haha pulling the hair, it would have to have been done in a slick way wouldn't it??? because if someone would have done that to me knowingly things would have turned ugly unless if it was realised later on when putting 2 and 2 together .

If someone was to outright pull my hair then that's a whole different story as someone online said it's assult , there is a video online of a guy who did that to someone.

 

[Vizzy]

Urinated that's not my thing but I don't want to judge anyone who does.

Haha pulling the hair, it would have to have been done in a slick way wouldn't it??? because if someone would have done that to me knowingly things would have turned ugly unless if it was realised later on when putting 2 and 2 together .

If someone was to outright pull my hair then that's a whole different story as someone online said it's assult , there is a video online of a guy who did that to someone.

You think too deep and serious lol, trust me if the sex is really good for the people involved it is like a drug, no girl is gonna care about her hair getting pulled because she is in so much pleasure that her eyes are half closed and enjoying the bang lol, she will ask for more if the man knows what he doing!

Sometimes girl will ask the man to pull the hair and some say pull it harder lmao, especially the girls who are silent and innocent in real life but they act crazy in bed that's my experience lol

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Sometimes girl will ask the man to pull the hair and some say pull it harder lmao, especially the girls who are silent and innocent in real life but they act crazy in bed that's my experience lol

Hahah I wouldn't know about that but thanks for making me laugh…..

 

[meowmeowkitty]

Best thing you can do even tho it's easier said than done is just quit for a while. Porn is very easily accesible and a lot of people get hypersexual or oversexed (if thats even a word but ykwim). It's like any other drug, the more you do of it the more you'll need. The more porn you watch the more you'll need to finish. What you could also do if you don't want to give it up is just slow down for a bit and try photos or even your imagination to finish, i've heard this works from a few people. I wish you the best of luck.

this is very helpful, might give it a try thank you :)

 

[one of the stars]

I'm trying to go on a detox, I mostly read porn than watch it but the guilt afterwards is down right terrible that I think of ctb most of the time. But I don't want to ctb because I haven't experienced life outside the house yet....try avoiding the triggers and replace porn with something else like a sport or some show on tv.

 

[meowmeowkitty]

I'm trying to go on a detox, I mostly read porn than watch it but the guilt afterwards is down right terrible that I think of ctb most of the time. But I don't want to ctb because I haven't experienced life outside the house yet....try avoiding the triggers and replace porn with something else like a sport or some show on tv.

will definitely do, i think i've turned to porn out of desperation for some form of stress reliever but now it's starting to become my stress lol, but i definitely feel a lot better after reading the comments :)

If it's becoming more and more violent though- as the OP suggests- I can understand why they are feeling worried. Not to accuse them of being the next Ted Bundy of course (!) but this is where he identified his trouble starting- an addiction to extremely violent porn. I guess the concern is- what happens when even the most extreme kinds don't satisfy? BDSM? Ok- that's consensual. What if that stops working though? Not saying the OP will go out and start hurting people- but perhaps they are afraid of getting to the stage where they WANT to. Can't be fun fighting those urges all the time. I guess it depends whether there is a strong enough divide between fantasy and reality- which only the OP will know.

Personally- I agree with what others are saying though. Maybe try and give it a rest for now. Use you're imagination- you must have loads of scenarios in there by now. Maybe look into the psychology behind it too. That was interesting for me. I saw a documentary about sexual fantasies once and it briefly explained the reasons behind some of them. Like- the need to dominate in the bedroom may be because the person feels like they have less power in real life. Many women have rape or bondage fantasies- that DEFINITELY doesn't mean they want to experience the real thing. Supposedly- it can be in response to feeling guilty about sex- so- if you imagine it is being forced upon you- you don't have that guilt. I found it interesting- plus- it kind of lessens the solely sexual side of it. Instead of worrying that you're a pervert- you can start to think why you need to feel that certain thing. It can be intense at the time but ultimately- it's just to get that fix- then you can move on.

I guess it does really depend on what type of porn you're attracted to- if it's heading in the direction of being illegal and it's making you start to want to do illegal things then I'd say it's responsible that you've realised that- but you do likely need to address it before it gets out of control. I think porn addiction is pretty common. I don't know how good they'd be but I'm sure there are resources out there. I hope you can feel more at ease with it if appropriate- or, find ways to reduce your consumption.

yeah nothing illegal, still able to use regular google search and everything with no worries lol but i do think a break is necessary.. nothing i would want to admit to anyone; and nothing i would want anyone finding in my search history :/ so obviously it's nothing i should be doing

 

[The anhedonic one]

People fantasize about all sorts. No lie- this documentary I watched had this cool biker guy who said he fantasized about being inside a rubber box or coffin (I forget) that had holes in while a naked fat woman sat on top and farted on him. Like you say- each to their own . I've always regarded sexual fantasies to be a bit like phobias- we don't always know where they come from. But yeah sure- I think some people do get off on being humiliated. I've never really understood why women let men wee on them for instance. Do they really enjoy that? Do they find it empowering? Maybe they do. I don't know. Maybe they just put up with it to make their partners happy.

It also depends on your upbringing. I had an extremely strict upbringing. No sex before marriage and you don't sleep around. I think in some ways- FOR ME- it became something kind of dirty. I'm not saying that's right or natural- it's just what happened in my case. Good job too- I'm an anti-natilist. Of course- if/when you decide to rebel against that- that side of it can become exciting because it is taboo. We're all different- we've all come from different backgrounds. Some poor people here will have suffered sexual abuse which can also affect how you view it.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not criticising you- or anyone else for that matter for watching porn. It's up to you. It's not like I've never watched it. I was curious at one point.

I'm just responding to the OP saying they are feeling disturbed by how they feel. I'm NOT saying they should be. I'm NOT saying they have cause to be. I have no idea. I don't know what they're in to and I can't see inside their head. It's just- if THEY want to feel better about it- they probably either need to realise it's just a kink and it's fine- or- for whatever reason- it's leading them somewhere they don't want to go. That's all. I wasn't trying to have a go at anyone. My apologies if that's how it came across.

PLEASE name that documentary with the biker guy, it sounds absolutely hilarious.
I saw a similar documentary, can't remember the name of it, but one guy had a pavement fetish, another one had a car fuel filler hole fetish. Go figure !

 

[Forever Sleep]

PLEASE name that documentary with the biker guy, it sounds absolutely hilarious.
I saw a similar documentary, can't remember the name of it, but one guy had a pavement fetish, another one had a car fuel filler hole fetish. Go figure !

I must have seen it over ten years ago on TV. I've tried to Google it but I can't seem to find it- I'm sorry. It was interesting though... Sounds like @Goodgirlryeo101 may have seen it too. Do you recall the title Goodgirlryeo? I didn't recall the biker guy succeeding in fulfilling his fantasy- but when you said 'Mupengo' it rang a bell. Oh- I feel bad for calling her fat now. I remembered the program just being people describing their fetishes/ fantasies. I remembered that as what he described.

Yeah- can't find that one but this one is interesting... about objectophilia: (People who fall in love with objects.)

Sounds similar to your guys with the pavement/ car fuel filler hole fetishes.

Sorry to derail the thread OP. Really though- it may not be anything to worry about at all. I think we can all like 'weird' things. If it's just that you think it's weird that it's upsetting you- I really wouldn't let it. People are into all sorts I expect. You don't have to tell anyone. If it's triggering something else though, or you feel like it's becoming an unhealthy addiction- then yeah- maybe step back for a bit.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

I must have seen it over ten years ago on TV. I've tried to Google it but I can't seem to find it- I'm sorry. It was interesting though... Sounds like @Goodgirlryeo101 may have seen it too. Do you recall the title Goodgirlryeo? I didn't recall the biker guy succeeding in fulfilling his fantasy- but when you said 'Mupengo' it rang a bell. Oh- I feel bad for calling her fat now. I remembered the program just being people describing their fetishes/ fantasies. I remembered that as what he described.

Yeah- can't find that one but this one is interesting... about objectophilia: (People who fall in love with objects.)

Sounds similar to your guys with the pavement/ car fuel filler hole fetishes.

Sorry to derail the thread OP. Really though- it may not be anything to worry about at all. I think we can all like 'weird' things. If it's just that you think it's weird that it's upsetting you- I really wouldn't let it. People are into all sorts I expect. You don't have to tell anyone. If it's triggering something else though, or you feel like it's becoming an unhealthy addiction- then yeah- maybe step back for a bit.

Oh I just noticed it's like 45 minutes ain't watching it that's too long, you seem to be too invested in wanting me to watch this and I had forgotten about this conversation but i have to say thank you I suppose.

Is being "fat" supposed to be offensive unless if the offence was taken. I know this "mupengo" even lied on behalf of the person who referred to her as "mupengo" that I was jealous of the person her "husband" called "avatar" and the relationship she had with her boyfriend… Hahah! This "avatar" told me, haha "beg a friend" ( you think I didn't know) she told me…..that's why she was called "fat" because she lied.

"People in the houses of glasses shouldn't be the ones throwing stones" especially when the "husband" used to brag on sleeping and messaging multiple "hoes" the name he referred to them behind his "mupengo's" back and this "mupengo" always misguide her anger and hatred at me ( avatar told me in 2018 how mupengo hated me and because that's what the husband had told her ).

She should be mad at her husband who does the same thing (sleeping with different people whilst in a committed relationship). I wasn't mad at mupengo when she told me what that ex of mine said even though it was meant to hurt me and it did hurt me. So sis I can understand finding all these things out about the hubby that you called a nice guy. I would have taken some of these things to my grave but it's just that you kept pushing my buttons over and over again.

Even people in Leeding FC knew this and I knew this and to think that I used to tell the hubby not to do that to his "mupengo". Now every time when you see Melrooooo you will know he expressed to me on so many different occasions how he wanted "kumukwira" and referred to Cathy as "chihure" ahahah a man calling women names like this and mupengo still stand up for him hahah!

Sis clearly don't want to be saved, mupengo's punishment is being married to him especially knowing the things he used to say to me.. ahahah I can only laugh because of the things I know… Mupengo's hubby used to call me a lot especially when she was at work.

Oh avatar also mentioned how mupengo's husband always denied saying anything bad about her . Saying "I never said anything bad about you to G, G is a liar" yeah avatar told me.. but the truth is the hubby always clowned this avatar to me especially when it comes to her looks even begging me to stop being friends with her because according to him she was too ugly to be my friend and who can forget the iconic "avatar" collage he made and sent to me. I heard he is now doing it to me regardless of him begging me to be his music girl in his video because apparently I was beautiful with long legs but now he clowns my look's because we are on bad terms.

He can never say these things to me and to my face because he is a coward. Yeah sis continue defending him and being spiteful towards me when your hubby is so disrespectful to you. He is no different to that ex of mine that said terrible things about me behind my back and he is no different to those men who are "shaming" me for being intimate them. Your husband is just lucky that he hasn't been exposed just like how he wanted to expose me.

Keep on that facade of a marriage but I know that marriage is a sham, sis is genuine but hubby is not.

D - I know you are reading this, you thought you were smart contacting the council spreading rumours that's when you started this foolery.

Edit - You started this foolery by speaking to those girls behind my back and calling me the B word on the phone.

I never accused you of rape, stop trying to justify your nastiness towards me. How could I accuse you of something like that considering how angry I was with you saying I was "intimate" with you when it's not true.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I must have seen it over ten years ago on TV. I've tried to Google it but I can't seem to find it- I'm sorry. It was interesting though... Sounds like @Goodgirlryeo101 may have seen it too. Do you recall the title Goodgirlryeo? I didn't recall the biker guy succeeding in fulfilling his fantasy- but when you said 'Mupengo' it rang a bell. Oh- I feel bad for calling her fat now. I remembered the program just being people describing their fetishes/ fantasies. I remembered that as what he described.

Yeah- can't find that one but this one is interesting... about objectophilia: (People who fall in love with objects.)

Sounds similar to your guys with the pavement/ car fuel filler hole fetishes.

Sorry to derail the thread OP. Really though- it may not be anything to worry about at all. I think we can all like 'weird' things. If it's just that you think it's weird that it's upsetting you- I really wouldn't let it. People are into all sorts I expect. You don't have to tell anyone. If it's triggering something else though, or you feel like it's becoming an unhealthy addiction- then yeah- maybe step back for a bit.

Ooh this looks fun. Thank you so much Forever sleep.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Oh I just noticed it's like 45 minutes ain't watching it that's too long, you seem to be too invested in wanting me to watch this and I had forgotten about this conversation but i have to say thank you I suppose.

Is being "fat" supposed to be offensive unless if the offence was taken. I know this "mupengo" even lied on behalf of the person who referred to her as "mupengo" that I was jealous of the person her "husband" called "avatar" and the relationship she had with her boyfriend… Hahah! This "avatar" told me, haha "beg a friend" ( you think I didn't know) she told me…..that's why she was called "fat" because she lied.

"People in the houses of glasses shouldn't be the ones throwing stones" especially when the "husband" used to brag on sleeping and messaging multiple "hoes" the name he referred to them behind his "mupengo's" back and this "mupengo" always misguide her anger and hatred at me ( avatar told me in 2018 how mupengo hated me and because that's what the husband had told her ).

She should be mad at her husband who does the same thing (sleeping with different people whilst in a committed relationship). I wasn't mad at mupengo when she told me what that ex of mine said even though it was meant to hurt me and it did hurt me. So sis I can understand finding all these things out about the hubby that you called a nice guy. I would have taken some of these things to my grave but it's just that you kept pushing my buttons over and over again.

Even people in Leeding FC knew this and I knew this and to think that I used to tell the hubby not to do that to his "mupengo". Now every time when you see Melrooooo you will know he expressed to me on so many different occasions how he wanted "kumukwira" and referred to Cathy as "chihure" ahahah a man calling women names like this and mupengo still stand up for him hahah!

Sis clearly don't want to be saved, mupengo's punishment is being married to him especially knowing the things he used to say to me.. ahahah I can only laugh because of the things I know… Mupengo's hubby used to call me a lot especially when she was at work.

Oh avatar also mentioned how mupengo's husband always denied saying anything bad about her . Saying "I never said anything bad about you to G, G is a liar" yeah avatar told me.. but the truth is the hubby always clowned this avatar to me especially when it comes to her looks even begging me to stop being friends with her because according to him she was too ugly to be my friend and who can forget the iconic "avatar" collage he made and sent to me. I heard he is now doing it to me regardless of him begging me to be his music girl in his video because apparently I was beautiful with long legs but now he clowns my look's because we are on bad terms.

He can never say these things to me and to my face because he is a coward. Yeah sis continue defending him and being spiteful towards me when your hubby is so disrespectful to you. He is no different to that ex of mine that said terrible things about me behind my back and he is no different to those men who are "shaming" me for being intimate them. Your husband is just lucky that he hasn't been exposed just like how he wanted to expose me.

Keep on that facade of a marriage but I know that marriage is a sham, sis is genuine but hubby is not.

D - I know you are reading this, you thought you were smart contacting the council spreading rumours that's when you started this foolery.

Edit - You started this foolery by speaking to those girls behind my back and calling me the B word on the phone.

I never accused you of rape, stop trying to justify your nastiness towards me. How could I accuse you of something like that considering how angry I was with you saying I was "intimate" with you when it's not true.

Sorry- I'm so utterly confused. I was merely asking you what the name of the program was... That other YouTube suggestion was for @The anhedonic one because they asked me what that program we were talking about was- which I couldn't remember- so suggested another one.

Still- it seems like you have some personal connection to this- which I had no clue about. And it seems to be triggering you- so, I'm sorry for that and I really don't want to go any further with this because it's clearly upsetting for you. I'm sorry.

 

[EmmaD]

This thread seems to have taken an odd turn! But as a woman who watches porn, I wanted to say as long as it's legal/ no underage or animals etc I don't see reason for shame. Sex is just a fun, colourful, fascinating part of life and god I've got all sorts saved in my xhamster favourites!
Kinks and fetishes are the most interesting part of sex. I hate the shame and judgement attached to some of them.