Discussion discouraged from ctb by the forum?

[Meditation guide]

I still don't know how people manage to do this, I've been in a sheer panic before and felt I had to ctb no matter what and still couldn't do it yet I want to so badly. I'm not even brave enough to go on most rides at an amusement park. I'm not even brave enough to try acid. Some people just have no physical fear or panic, I'm not one of those.

I've had my SN for three years and still can't bear to even touch the bottle of it from where I put it three years ago.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Yee it's a big reason I keep going/ genuinely don't enjoy feeling like this. To CTB is just as hard as living is. To me they are the same coin jus dof sides so to speak. I really wish I'd ordered N or SN when it was available. Now I dunno what yo try that I can see myself able to do...

 

[passivethought121]

I also felt a little bummed upon looking through methods and reading about failure. But then I realized planning and execution is just as hard as living, just less accessible. It motivated me to think my method through more and reduce as many errors as I can.

 

[alcoholicnboredom]

watching gore (sometimes) has made me realize that i will never have a peaceful death, and will most probably die in a horrible accident.
Funny how i find to die a horrible death as long as its orchestrated by me.

 

[four-trees]

I feel the exact same way. Why does it have to be so hard to find relief? The SN method scares me the most and any pill one does to be honest because of the low success rates. But what you said about drowning with a backpack full of stones is probably the best way. People say drowning is painful but I don't think it's that bad, your body is deprived of oxygen just like if you were to od or use sn so the same suffocating feeling regardless. But looking up through the water at the blue sky while catching the bus is probably my preferred method. I just feel sad that it's simply not that easy.

As someone who has drowned before and was saved, it's nowhere near that peaceful. Sometimes i think about ctb that way just because at least it's a route I'm familiar with so I know what to expect. But it's honestly really painful and terrifying and those moments feel like years and that knowledge is sobering to me every time. When you're drowning there is no "up", just fire in your chest and head and bones. I personally wouldn't recommend it, but to each their own.

 

[Dying Knight]

As someone who has drowned before and was saved, it's nowhere near that peaceful. Sometimes i think about ctb that way just because at least it's a route I'm familiar with so I know what to expect. But it's honestly really painful and terrifying and those moments feel like years and that knowledge is sobering to me every time. When you're drowning there is no "up", just fire in your chest and head and bones. I personally wouldn't recommend it, but to each their own.

It's just incorrect to compare totally unwanted and uncontrolled drowning when you're scared of death with prepared drowning when you actually want to die and apply special techniques that make drowning more easy for you. If you use hyperventilation before breath holding, you reduce the duration and strength of the desire to breathe a lot. If you additionally inhale an asphyxiant gas in order to get rid of oxygen in your lungs before breath holding, you most likely pass out in less than 1 minute before you could even start feeling an urge to breathe.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Ctb is not peaceful and that's what got me the will to attempt.

I personally favor quick yet violent methods like hanging and gunshot because they hurt and you know you're dying, but it happens quickly. Hanging can take up to 5-15 minutes, but you pass out on an instant.

I think the obsession with a peaceful death makes it harder to ctb.

The thing that makes me hold off is worry im making the wrong decision. Also the need to feel strong. Ctb is admitting to defeat and I dunno if I wanna send that message.

 

[Dying Knight]

I think the obsession with a peaceful death makes it harder to ctb.

Totally agreed, although even peaceful methods become relatively easily available when you have a good background and willingness to learn things.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Totally agreed, although even peaceful methods become relatively easily available when you have a good background and willingness to learn things.

Sure, but how do you know they won't fail or will be entirely peaceful?

To accept ctb is to accept the chance of pain and violence. In a grotesque way I find that kind of badass.

 

[Dying Knight]

Sure, but how do you know they won't fail or will be entirely peaceful?

If we consider drowning for example, there are a lot of evidences that a hypoxia with a non-high CO2 level does not cause sufferings and you can make drowning nearly as peaceful as dying with exit bag using an inert gas. The basic variant of the method is well known here as SWB, the advanced variant implies the usage of an asphyxiant gas, like with the exit bag method. However, in case of drowning you can safely use non-inert gases such as N2O or propane/butane, and much less volume of them is needed (5 - 10 litres should be sufficient). Propane/butane are much more easy to obtain in tech-shops than huge nitrogen cylinders.

Regarding reliability, if you pass out underwater, you gonna be dead. The risk of surviving underwater is nearly zero as long as you don't let other people rescue yourself. There is no uncertainty with taking lethal/non-lethal dosage here, unlike poisoning with SN or CO.