“Die if you want to, nobody is stopping you”

[Deathbydemo]

Words from my 10 year old son this morning.

He's completely right. Makes this decision ten times easier.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Oh... It hurts to hear that. I have a brother the age of your son, he says cruel things too, but I know that deep down children don't know how to contain their anger and express themselves in the best way (not even adults can). Sorry, I don't know anything about your relationship with your son, but breathe easy. If you feel comfortable, we will be here to hear from you.

Spoiler: Maybe it helps?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm so sorry. No one deserves to be told that, especially from their own family - their own kid. That must have been so painful to hear.

 

[Soulless Angel]

Words from my 10 year old son this morning.

He's completely right. Makes this decision ten times easier.

WOW children can really deal low blows! But they don't have a mind set of long term effects or the true impact of their words. What's caused him to say that?

 

[Deathbydemo]

Oh... It hurts to hear that. I have a brother the age of your son, he says cruel things too, but I know that deep down children don't know how to contain their anger and express themselves in the best way (not even adults can). Sorry, I don't know anything about your relationship with your son, but breathe easy. If you feel comfortable, we will be here to hear from you.

Spoiler: Maybe it helps?

I am so hurt, I don't even have words anymore. We generally have a great relationship, but he says a lot of things out of anger.

I don't think he will ever realise the impact of his words. Thank you for your response, I just don't know what to think anymore.

I'm so sorry. No one deserves to be told that, especially from their own family - their own kid. That must have been so painful to hear.

It was the most painful thing I've ever heard in almost 30 years. You don't expect to hear those words from your own son - who you have done nothing but your best for.

WOW children can really deal low blows! But they don't have a mind set of long term effects or the true impact of their words. What's caused him to say that?

I don't know. He didn't want to go to school, he was being so aggressive towards me. I don't understand it.

 

[almost_dead]

Am I the only one who thinks that the child said nothing wrong ?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Am I the only one who thinks that the child said nothing wrong ?

I guess it depends on the context. I just assumed there was a big fight.

 

[almost_dead]

I guess it depends on the context. I just assumed there was a big fight.

dont you think that if the child said "dont die , then who will take care of me" that would been selfish on his part ? Now when he said the OP is free to die , i dont think there is anything wrong in that

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't think he will ever realise the impact of his words.

I'm so sorry to hear this and I know how it makes you feel.

Have you tried to explain to him how it makes you feel in a calm non accusing way so he understands?

Could he be lashing out at hearing you threaten to ctb? Just know you have my sympathy.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Am I the only one who thinks that the child said nothing wrong ?

I thought it was just one of those logical things kids say and you look at them wondering where they got that from. I mean.... He's right, no one is physically stopping you. (this of course depends on family members friends and cops, but as of this second it's true)

 

[Wayfaerer]

dont you think that if the child said "dont die , then who will take care of me" that would been selfish on his part ? Now when he said the OP is free to die , i dont think there is anything wrong in that

Not really, the child was brought into this world and could expect to be taken care of until they were an adult.

Does your child know that you are suicidal, OP?

 

[Deathbydemo]

Am I the only one who thinks that the child said nothing wrong ?

I agree. He didn't say anything that wasn't true, but does detract from the fact that it was still incredibly hurtful to hear.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

dont you think that if the child said "dont die , then who will take care of me" that would been selfish on his part ? Now when he said the OP is free to die , i dont think there is anything wrong in that

Tbh when it comes to kids, I have mixed feelings. I suppose it would be selfish for the child to say that, but at the same time it's a fair point. Especially if it's a young kid.

It's like how it's selfish for us to want to have our basic needs met.

 

[Deathbydemo]

^ that doesn't detract*

 

[Caspers]

Sometimes when children are full of emotions, they say the opposite of what they mean, sometimes they say horrible things when they don't mean it. When he's calmed down, is there any chance you could have a heart to heart and ask whether he meant it?

 

[Wayfaerer]

^ that doesn't detract*

You can edit your posts btw

 

[theguineapigking]

I don't know the relationship between you and your son. I don't know if he knows that you're suicidal or if he picked up on something?? I guess it also depends on the context, but I'm guessing he lashed out at you, from the way you posted.

You've got to understand that kids can lash out, even by saying things that are very hurtful. Perhaps if you'd have said "Words can really hurt, you know? You shouldn't say something so heartless, to your own mother" , he'd have apologized.

Kids lash out and say things that they don't truly mean, all the time. You should consider sitting down to talk with him about how words can truly hurt, and telling him that he shouldn't say something like that. You don't want to yell at or ground him, or anything like that, unless you want retaliation. You want him to feel regret and guilt, so that he can understand and learn from his mistakes... This is my advice, assuming he's simply misbehaving. As I said, I don't know your relationship with your son, or if you openly told him that you're suicidal.

I know that words can be very hurtful. I'm sorry deathbydemo. Hopefully you Guys can work it out.



Best wishes.

 

[Deathbydemo]

Not really, the child was brought into this world and could expect to be taken care of until they were an adult.

Does your child know that you are suicidal, OP?

No, he doesn't. Nobody does.

I didn't make this post to seek sympathy. But words can be so damaging.

 

[Meditation guide]

Well what brought that on? Or was it a random outburst for no reason?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

But words can be so damaging.

Truth. Even if the person didn't really mean it (my parents often tell me that), the damage has been dealt.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I don't know. He didn't want to go to school, he was being so aggressive towards me. I don't understand it.

I get the I hate you a lot, wish I wasn't living here, all that shit, it damn hurts and I think they know it, how better to lash out and hurt your parents then by rejecting them, as they have nothing else they can do

 

[Deathbydemo]

I just want to be gone. He would be so much happier without me.

 

[Emily_Numb]

My question is why would your son know you are suicidal? I would have thought you'd want to protect him from that part of your life. If he does know you're suicidal/depressed or whatever, maybe he's sick of having to deal with the shit that surrounds it and his life is being negatively impacted by it? If neither of these things, it wouldn't be the first time a kid has said 'I wish you were dead' out of anger. Maybe as a teenager, not 10 years old though. You might want to try getting some anger management as that's a lot of rage for a kid if that age to be projecting.

 

[Soul]

@Deathbydemo, I'm sorry you feel so hurt. If he phrased it the way you've presented it, he apparently does know you're suicidal. That must feel terrifying to a young child and I really urge you to find someone you can both talk with about your feelings. I get how hurtful it was to hear that, but how awful must it feel to him to have to grasp that his mother is suicidal?! Please try to find someone you can both trust to talk this through.

 

[Meditation guide]

Have you told him you want to kill yourself? My mother said that to me when I was in my 20s and it was almost unbearable to hear from her.

 

[Nutmeg]

I am so sorry but why would you even talk about suicide to a 10 years kid? that's not okay! smh. I feel sorry for the kid since he is the real victim.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I would try to talk to him later, with a lot of love and openness. Kids of any age may say I hope you die, but this was very specific, and I would try to gently encourage him to say where it came from, but not push too hard if he doesn't want to say, it may open a door and he'll tell you in his own time.

Is it possible he was on a device where you'd been on this site and could see the history or it was still open? Or maybe they know someone who is suicidal and they don't know how to deal, or maybe repeated something another kid said in a different context?

If you don't understand why he didn't want to go to school and was so aggressive, there's a reason and he's not telling you. Does he feel safe to tell you things, even when it's something he'd normally get in trouble for? If he has anger issues that come up, is it possible he's been abused or has an abusive friend and is keeping it a secret but acts out as a pressure release?

 

[Ghost2211]

Kids don't usually mean things like that. They say things out of anger, and don't understand the weight behind their words. I know all too well how much it hurts. Unless your son has seen death in his life he likely doesn't understand the permanence of death.

 

[Nature_is_God]

The Anti-Natalist side of me really empathizes with the kid while the suicidal side of me really empathizes with you. I wish you and your son the best.

 

[Deathbydemo]

I'm going to ignore any and all ignorant comments on this post. I was hurting deep inside this morning from my sons words, and needed an outlet. My apologies that place was here.

just to clarify, I have never and will never talk to my son about me wanting to die. He is 10 years old for gods sake, I am not a complete moron. Despite being severely mentally ill, I love that boy with my whole heart and he is cared for above and beyond.

take care.