Did you try to ask for “permission”?

[orca87]

In some countries where euthanasia is allowed even for the poor souls labeled as "mentally ill", there are some self help groups for relatives of people going by euthanasia.

Here is one example

In liefde laten gaan – Stichting voor ouders van een kind dat binnenkort euthanasie krijgt of al heeft gekregen op basis van een psychische aandoening.

www.inliefdelatengaan.nl

(Translates to "letting go in love")

I tried to ask for permission, I literally begged to let me go. I tried to explain the pain of waking up. The pain of existence. The inability to accept where I am at in life.

Resistance. Go to a clinic. See a doctor. That's all I heard.

But I have. I tried so hard. I've been to 3 clinics, tried almost all meds.

And I got better, i.e. clearer. There is no more tiredness, no more delusion, way more self-control. That's what makes it extra hard. It's now not that I feel depressed. Its like I see what I've lost, I see what I destroyed. And I see what I will never have again. And I simply cannot settle for less.

I felt depressed my whole life. Then there were a few years where I had a better life than I ever dared to dream of. But I couldn't value it at that time. Now its gone again. Having experienced the sweet taste of a "good life" with the perspective of getting back to my personal hell is more depressing than anything I've ever felt.

Why is it so hard to understand for prolife people? Why would they feel better "having" me around suffering all the time than letting me go in peace?

I even told them I would try anything if they could tell me just one thing I haven't already tried. Nothing. But they still insist that I haven't tried everything, yet.

Have you ever talked to people around you like that? Ever tried to convince them that letting go is hard, but suffering is harder?

What was your experience?

 

[GoForDeath]

When I first got admitted to a clinic, I was trying to tell my psychiatrist that I want to die and to be euthanized, however he ignored my requests.. However I have to admit that my life has been better since then, I'm currently still on medication and it's working wonders, sadly tho I still want to CTB.. A friend of mine is requesting assisted suicide, so I'll wait and see how it goes with him. In the meantime I'll probably try to get my hands on some SN.. I don't think that "asking for permission" will work for me.. I hope you manage to find peace eventually.

 

[orca87]

When I first got admitted to a clinic, I was trying to tell my psychiatrist that I want to die and to be euthanized, however he ignored my requests.. However I have to admit that my life has been better since then, I'm currently still on medication and it's working wonders, sadly tho I still want to CTB.. A friend of mine is requesting assisted suicide, so I'll wait and see how it goes with him. In the meantime I'll probably try to get my hands on some SN.. I don't think that "asking for permission" will work for me.. I hope you manage to find peace eventually.

May I ask which country you live in?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've really wanted to sometimes. My Dad is really the only last person keeping me here. I've thought about trying to explain it to him in the hopes he would understand and let me go but I know he won't understand. I definitely know he wouldn't give me his 'blessing' on the situation unless I was maybe obviously physically suffering. He's not a monster- he just wouldn't understand.

I realised that all it would do would make him feel guilty, unhappy and worried- so- I know I can't tell him and I don't feel like I can actually do it while he's still alive either. I expect SO many of us are just stuck here in this dumbass limbo suffering in silence and alone. Thank God for this place- or- we'd have no one to confide in.

 

[witheringDreams]

I've really wanted to sometimes. My Dad is really the only last person keeping me here. I've thought about trying to explain it to him in the hopes he would understand and let me go but I know he won't understand. I definitely know he wouldn't give me his 'blessing' on the situation unless I was maybe obviously physically suffering. He's not a monster- he just wouldn't understand.

I realised that all it would do would make him feel guilty, unhappy and worried- so- I know I can't tell him and I don't feel like I can actually do it while he's still alive either. I expect SO many of us are just stuck here in this dumbass limbo suffering in silence and alone. Thank God for this place- or- we'd have no one to confide in.

I understand that it can be scary to talk about our deepest feelings. Sometimes, just having someone listen to you and offer support can make all the difference.
It's okay to be vulnerable and share your struggles with others. You don't have to have all the answers or be perfect all the time.

Your struggles are not a sign of weakness. It takes courage to ask for help and to share your story with others. But by doing so, you may inspire others to do the same.
Remember that you are worthy of love and support, and that there are people who care about you and want to help. You don't have to carry the weight of your struggles alone.

I myself wasn't able to talk to someone dear to me before they attempted. They survived, but not having the chance to talk to them still feels horrible, even more so during the time I thought they were gone.