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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Hi guys, I am a 22 year old girl and I have an exasperated need for your advice. I have just registered on this site, but already I feel like a big family, the family that I do not have.
I want to stop living because it is exasperating and every day I hope it is the last, that this lousy world ends soon. I have some problems that weigh a lot on me, I hope you do not judge me. I know that in the world there are worse problems but every cross weighs on oneself. since I was 4 years old I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, which has never allowed me to live well because I do not want this body. I hate everything about my body, I always wanted to be a boy, in fact up to 11 years (just before puberty) I thought I was. so I'm homosexual. I started to suffer from depression 7 years and at 8 I was diagnosed with trichotillomania and obsessive compulsive disorder. at home I have never been well, my parents have always offended me and have always told me "you were the biggest mistake I ever did, you did not have to be born" or "people like you have to die, I'm just a serious problem for society "," if you leave home nobody will miss you, you are our shame ". all this said by a mother who does not love you and who does not accept you for who you are and by a father who was always in jail by committing crimes and beating each time he was at home.
as for my trichotillomania I currently have areas with no hair on my head and I try to hide it.
from a sexual point of view I had a girl in the past, with whom I had a relationship but soon after I had serious crises because I do not want to be a woman. so I decided to close social relations. I only have a friend with whom I go out( if everything goes well) once a month and a girl who talks to me online because she thinks I'm a boy. this thing makes me feel good, but at the same time also bad because one day he will want to see me and I can not see it because I'm not a boy. I spend my days locked in the house with my mother who offends me and tells me that I am a mentally ill, I try to ignore it by playing the playstation but I'm just wasting my life. why does the government not understand that in many cases where there is no physical disease we need euthanasia?
sorry for the outburst, I'm writing these things with tears in my eyes. I'm not even English, so forgive me.
now I ask you if you have any advice for me. I wanted to try with carbon monoxide or a gun but it's forbidden in my country.
please help me
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
please guys
 
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E

EternalSleep

Member
Jul 4, 2018
35
Hey! Welcome to our family. I am sorry you are here though. Suffering is no way to live.

I am currently debating on ending my life because I am terrified of the future. Also because I hate working. It feels like a big punishment.

I am sorry you are going through all of this. You are still young but I understand why you want to end your life. Sadly there are no easy methods to die in my opinion. Hanging is pretty commonly discussed here but I don't have the courage to hang myself. I am thinking of overdosing on my medication I am taking.

Best of luck in ending your suffering once and for all.
 
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RoloTomasi

RoloTomasi

Specialist
Jul 21, 2018
319
Sorry, things must have been really rough, don't even know where to begin. I like what you said, to each their own cross. While I cannot really say I know your pain, many of us here are in similar situations. If you're already certain that you are cornered, some older threads here have helpful info. CO method needs a bit of preparation. Anyways, welcome!
 
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Tiburcio

Guest
Welcome, I'm sorry of your problems.

This problems look very serious but I hope we could help in some way.
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Hey! Welcome to our family. I am sorry you are here though. Suffering is no way to live.

I am currently debating on ending my life because I am terrified of the future. Also because I hate working. It feels like a big punishment.

I am sorry you are going through all of this. You are still young but I understand why you want to end your life. Sadly there are no easy methods to die in my opinion. Hanging is pretty commonly discussed here but I don't have the courage to hang myself. I am thinking of overdosing on my medication I am taking.

Best of luck in ending your suffering once and for all.
thank you for giving me your opinion,i appreciate a lot. unfortunately I do not dare to hang myself and I am limited in this because I live in an apartment. I don't know how to do a slip knot and then I don't know where to hang it. because of my trichotillomania I had to leave the university and I thought I could work, but it didn't happen. when i'm outside i feel so sick of people, judgment and i start crying a lot because of my feminine body.. i always stay all day in bed crying and playing playstation with a game of zombies and when I see someone dead I always say: "blessed him"
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Sorry, things must have been really rough, don't even know where to begin. I like what you said, to each their own cross. While I cannot really say I know your pain, many of us here are in similar situations. If you're already certain that you are cornered, some older threads here have helpful info. CO method needs a bit of preparation. Anyways, welcome!

Thank you for your reply. I would never be able to hang myself and I am limited because I live in an apartment. I would like to have a lot of information about the CO and how to do it. there is also a scene in a film where a man commits suicide by attacking a tube with CO to the car window. I have also followed nembutal and pentobarbital for many months. i want a bag for exit life, like someone sold in internet some time ago..
the thing that tears my heart is that there are people next to me who don't want to make me change my sex, so I have continuous crises and I do not live my life. nobody accepts me. my parents said to me im' mentally ill and I should die. and this what I want to do, I want to have the courage to definitively close the sad chapter of my life. unplug it forever
 
letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Welcome, I'm sorry of your problems.

This problems look very serious but I hope we could help in some way.

thank you so much..
i hope someone can help me with methods and tips.. its so sad, i'm wasting my time and i'm crying because i think i dont deserve more time in this shitty word
 
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Tiburcio

Guest
thank you so much..
i hope someone can help me with methods and tips.. its so sad, i'm wasting my time and i'm crying because i think i dont deserve more time in this shitty word
Well, if you are decided to do it, there is a wide variety of methods you can use. There are variated and hopefully you will find what is the best method for you.

There is a list with methods, I recommend you taking a look and if you have doubts you always can ask something here.
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Well, if you are decided to do it, there is a wide variety of methods you can use. There are variated and hopefully you will find what is the best method for you.

There is a list with methods, I recommend you taking a look and if you have doubts you always can ask something here.
the list with the methods is on this site? can you suggest some well-detailed list of methods? sorry if I'm bothering you, but I need you guys right now ..
 
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Tiburcio

Guest
the list with the methods is on this site? can you suggest some well-detailed list of methods? sorry if I'm bothering you, but I need you guys right now ..
Yes.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/

Here is all and you can create a thread if you have some doubts.
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Yes.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/

Here is all and you can create a thread if you have some doubts.
thank you so so so much, really
 
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