Discussion Did you have a plan for the future before deciding on CTBing

[Dinozauria]

I'll go first. I wanted to be a Paleontologist at first, then a vagabond, before I finally settled on CTBing

 

[tonicer]

I wanted to be a police officer when i was a kid but realized they get assaulted all the time by crazy people so i switched to IT guy so i studied it and cannot for the life of me find a job in that area so all that studying was a waste of time now i just want to fade away but i have to wait until my parents die which might be 15 or so years for my mom and maybe 5 for my dad. I don't want them to go earlier of course since they were always pretty good to me especially my mom but enduring this cursed existence for that long is not going to be easy.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

since i was quite young i always figured i would die young either from ctb or something else, my mother was often ill with unknown reasons that i didn't know if it would be genetic and affect me plus many accidents happened that could have killed me. before that there was a very small amount of time when i wanted to be a firefighter(like when i was really little like preschool) but from a young age and from the first time i tried it(first grade), i always wanted to be a theatre actor. i still sometimes think i want that instead of ctb and it's how i will spend the rest of whatever time i do live.

 

[comeoutandhauntme]

my dream was always to be an author and publish stories. but i've been so unmotivated and depressed for years that's i've not been able to write a lot in so long. it makes me sad to look back and see how creative i was when i was younger

 

[DeoxygenDaydream]

I always grew up with a vague idea of wanting to make video games, and eventually did some compsci for college before switching to art and dropping out. Never had a 5 year plan or even a year down the line. Now I work my current job, and frankly it could be a nice career, but it's still impossible to picture myself happy and fulfilled in even an attainable future that I'd rather give in now. I've always joked I would ctb on my own terms before fate/nature did that for me, and I intend to keep that promise at least.

 

[Wolff603]

As of right now im uncertain about my future. I do not know whether or not I'm suicidal as of right now, which is a blessing, but even now, I only have a vague idea; I just can't imagine a future for myself.

 

[baptist6]

I had a girlfriend of 2 years, she gave me hope, she made me happy and distracted me. Ive always been suicidal but she helped me. I decided to get things together because of her, I started college, I planned to become a data analyst and to buy a house and settle down and have children. However, 2 weeks into school, she broke up with me and cheated on me. So I had to go through not only my surroundings change but also this. I went manic, overdosed on Zoloft, dropped out. Now I have nothing, no matter how many people say "Im here for you" no one reaches out, when I reach out, they ghost me and ignore me. I've felt like this all my life, and then I finally had a plan to get better, I had hope. Now I'm nothing, I have no one, and I have nothing.