Did you ever imagine that you would end up in the SS forum?

[AaronHernandez]

I never imagined I would end up in a suicide forum it feels surreal to me but here I am unfortunately

 

[FuneralCry]

I have been suicidal since a young age and I have never wanted to be alive. I see suicide as my fate and I cannot imagine myself dying of anything else. I did not know that suicide forums existed until I found this place, so I did not imagine that I would find myself in one. I am glad that I found it, as for me it helps to pass the time and it is a distraction from my thoughts.

 

[NoPointToContinue]

I'm just glad that this kind of pro-choice place exist

 

[PrincessInWhite]

I was on the ASH forums back when they were a thing

 

[rosie93]

No...

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Not in a million years. But two years ago I was actively looking for such places, and now I'm honored to be a part of this community.

 

[AaronHernandez]

I was on the ASH forums back when they were a thing

What are ASH forums?

 

[PrincessInWhite]

What are ASH forums?

It was a Usenet forum, stood for Alt suicide holiday

 

[fox_wannabe]

I do not feel like i "ended up here"
Place is quite openminded and serene, also very accepting. Stupid as It sounds, I like It here.
It is a place to vent, I bet many people would have died, feeling totally alienated from society, thinking they are only ones with suicidal thoughts.

 

[Pisceslilith]

I've been suicidal since I was a kid but the difference between now and then is I wanted help back then but now I know I definitely want to die. So no I would've never thought I would end up on a forum like this, I didn't even know these existed but I'm glad I found this place so I can do my research on a way out. I hope this site stays up for a very long time and anyone who has the desire to end it is able to access this site, it's their right.

 

[AtMostOkay]

No, I didn't. I've always contemplated alone. I'm grateful to have been introduced to a strong group of understanding hearts. We are all suffering, still and always, but being here and allowed to touch from afar, makes me feel more accepted, actively connecting.

 

[Seiba]

Not tonally similar, but I thought I'd stay a lurker largely and just keep bookmarks. I did end up joining on a whim though.

 

[PinkSakura]

Didn't expect to ever be suicidal, but here i am lol

 

[GreenTree]

I didn't think I'd end up here. I don't think any of us did. The human mind and life is a bastard to get us to this place. A cruel world. It is comforting knowing others understand and feel similar though. I feel sorry for every member on here though.

 

[StevieNixs]

No - never knew it existed until It was mentioned in an online paper which named the site whilst condemning it.

 

[Cant go back]

Nope. I'm upset that my life has even come to this.

 

[NormaJeane]

Maybe all people will end up on a suicide discussion as time goes on. Most of us have to choose between to die with or without dignity. Death often becomes slow when people live so long.

 

[RedEther]

I was always suicidal, but was contempt with laying in bed for the rest of my life and dieing naturally. But ofcorse I had to meet someone that had to give me hope, then snatch it away. It was the last straw for me. Not letting this go on for another upteen years until things are "better" again

 

[Chiisai]

No. I was a generally happy person but it seems even happiness runs out if life throws more sadness out there.

 

[Adamsnolife]

No.

 

[deadverysoon]

no - what happened/ was done to me the last two years is the main reason.

i mean i did not have a beautiful life before but i was on a good way to. and then i started at this company... and all things what happened then just turned everything inside out. they killed me in such a way so systematically - i didnt know a government would do such things...

especially in my country.

think i posted too much "fuck the system"

 

[Pen>Sword]

No. I thought a website like this is illegal, and if it does exist, it would be in a deep web. I never thought I will stumble this obscure yet relatable website.

 

[Manaaja]

I would have never thought that others would want to ctb so I never thought there'd be a forum for it. I guess I discovered this place via read it but I'm not 100% sure anymore. Pity the sub was banned, but there are less pro suffering folks here.

My life has always been utter shit so no wonder I'm here.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Nope, it feels surreal to me as well. It's also extremely depressing for me, as life was great just a short moment ago. But I appreciate the fact that a forum like this actually exists, and that at anytime, I could go peacefully now.

 

[meetapple]

When I was young I looked down upon people who committed suicide and would never have thought in a million years I would be here.

 

[Thingsneverchange]

When I was younger I was pretty happy and never had these thoughts but as I grew older I suddenly had several mental disorders at once and I am not finding a way out of this. This website is so refreshing because nowhere else can you talk as openly as you do on here about this subject. It's kind of confusing when you come here for the first time but I think I'll get used to it.

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

None of us ever did. We all probably had faith in the terrible thing called life. Don't forget that we're all here to fart around.

 

[Chockles]

No until 9 months ago I had physical pain similar to fibromyalgia & ibs. I had good days & bad days. Then something went horribly wrong in lockdown I'm in so much agony 24/7 I've thought of nothing else but suicide since I am barely existing bed ridden in torture never mind living.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Yes and no. I was suicidal since I was 6 or 7. But I was never 100% serious about until last year. That's when my state's libturd governor enacted a "stay home" order, making it illegal to go outside for any reason, except getting groceries, working at an essential job, or walking for exercise, and all socializing was outlawed.

After one month of that, the loneliness and the social isolation destroyed my will to live, and I decided to get serious about committing suicide. So I joined this site. I learned a lot of useful methods and such. So I planned on being dead within month or so. Ironically, I also joined a radical right-wing forum shortly after. They invited me to their parties, I go to socialize again, so the CTB never panned out like I planned.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I never imagined I would end up in a suicide forum it feels surreal to me but here I am unfortunately

I know. It's truly bizarre. And horrifying.