Venting Did my parents ever care about my mental health?

[sunny]

When i was younger, i held a bottle of pills and threatened to take them all, my mom replied "go ahead but you'll have to live with the consequences" (cringe reverse psychology attempt..?) I also was self harming in 7th-8th grade and had a doctor notice and ask about it and i lied my way out of it. I vaguely remember asking my mom to enroll me in a therapy program. (spoiler, she never did). They never cared about the obvious distress signals from 13-14 year old me. yet my older sister attempts and the whole world stops. if i would have actually attempted, maybe they'd start to realize? now i will never go to my family for mental health issues .. so if i DO ctb i wonder if they would blame themselves? probably not idk .. i feel like they would pull the "wE hAd No IdEa" card xd

 

[Holu]

I'm not here to give a concrete and definitive answer, but honestly I'd say that doesn't sound like caring.

That being said some parents really don't know how to express their concern. My dad use to literally make me throw away my stuffed animals and apologize to the neighbors for being loud everytime I had a freak out. In some way that's caring ig, but a shitty job.

Still, in your situation I think at the very least they are playing favorites for your sister. Maybe, it's worth attempting to have a discussion with them, and if you feel it's disingenuous then to act from there.

Regardless of what I'm really really sorry for what they put you through. That lack of love for what is literally their child is nothing but unforgivable and disgusting. I'd hope, that if you passed they would understand and suffer with that guilt.

Until then what matters is you. If your planning on going out, and aren't sure of your method please pick a painless and high success method. You deserve a humane death.

If you're still struggling then keep on soldier. Feel free to let us know if you need anything.