did any drug make life a bit more bearable for you?

[moreprepared1234]

I always want to try shrooms but I read it can make things worse when youre not in a good mindset taking them. Does anybody with a good experience have tips to benefit from it?

 

[leowantstobedead]

IM what city you live in

How do u IM on here may I ask?

 

[BarryBee123]

i don't know how i forgot nicotine! you're right the effects really don't last long, especially considering how addictive it is, but i'll still find myself returning to vapes sometimes just because i like how they make me feel for 30 seconds lol

Truthfully I have never really liked vapes and just stayed with cigarettes. There are a lot of bad ones out there but camels are ok. But ye it is nice for like 30 seconds and then nothing until you want another cigarette lol

I've dabbled with a few other things like shrooms or codeine but they never became a habit at all. Shrooms was fun, codeine made me feel really itchy for some reason

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

Xanax, alcohol, and now weed since it became legal.

 

[praythestars]

Codeine is a pretty weak opioid, just FYI. If you like xanax, chances are you'd like a stronger opioid like oxycodone.

But anyways: Xanax 8/10 fantastic for panic attacks so I have to rate it highly, as an actual like... high, a bit less so for me.
Oxycodone/stronger prescription opioids (pre-fentanyl scare): 10/10 every time
Shrooms: 7/10 much more dependent on mood etc
DXM: 9/10 poor mans ketamine to me
Meth: 2/10 just a gross high
Crack: 7/10 maybe I just am resistant to it, but its short lifespan plus what to me is a bit of a weak high makes it fun but not great
Cocaine: even weaker and just as fleeting as crack 4/10 fun if someone else is giving you a bump for free
Adderall: 7/10 used to like it, post-cardiophobia I can't take it in the amounts I'd need to, to get euphoria even though I have a script now, so I'm rating it based on pre-cardiophobia
Dexedrine: always liked this better than adderall back in the day, same thing basically, just better suited for me I guess chemically
Alcohol: 4/10 did it's job before I started getting hangxiety and bad hangovers from it, 7/10 at its height.
MDMA: 2/10 I don't think I have enough feel good juice to make this shit work. Used to get a ton of it for free when I was dealing it, but after the third time I started just kinda writhing in bed from it, despite its purity.
Bath salts: 1/10 not fun, not even a high really
7OH: 3/10 Never really got me high. The come up felt just like opioids but it was like masturbating and getting up to an orgasm and the orgasm just dying. Helped keep my mood level a bit, but still got addicted enough to have withdrawal at 20mg a day on it despite never having withdrawals on anything else that I used more of/longer like oxy, crack and adderall, or alcohol.

 

[hazelmoon]

Ecstasy definitely made life more bearable, but I got to the point where even after I took it all I would think about is suicide. I was still unhappy on ecstasy and that's when I realized there's no version of this life I'll ever be able to cope with

 

[discernment]

When I first tried Xanax I genuinely thought i'd found the cure to all of my problems in life. For the first time ever, I felt like I could function without crippling anxiety, I could interact with others confidently, and I stopped ruminating. I noticed that I rapidly built a tolerance to the drug so of course I had to take increasingly higher amounts to produce the same effect that i'd experienced in the beginning.

Ultimately, I ended up overdosing on multiple occasions, which led to me being sectioned in a psychiatric hospital. Obviously I couldn't obtain anymore Xanax while in hospital and I went through a agonising withdrawal period. I swear I still get side effects now from benzodiazepine withdrawal now years later. Xanax changed my life but I don't think i'd ever touch it again. I don't think i'd survive it a second time.

 

[DeadManLiving]

No

 

[never mind me]

Ok, I think I cannot list all drugs I have experience with, because it's so many, but I will try to think of the most important ones:
Magic mushrooms: 10/10. Not every trip was healing, some were just fun. But quite a few mushroom trips were very helpful to deal with my past. One of the most memorable experiences for me was a trip during which I could see a child version of myself and sided with her to fight against my abusive father. The good feeling this gave me stayed with me over the years (this trip I took more than 15 years ago).
LSD: 9/10. Although LSD trips are usually not as deep for me as mushrooms trips they were also very helpful dealing with my past and also to gain a new perspective on my current situation. On LSD I often dance to music while at the same time being able to think about stuff that bothers me and gaining new insights. It is also possible for me (more than on shrooms) to talk to others and share experiences which was also quite helpful for me.
MDMA: 10/10. Although MDMA is much more of a fun drug rather than a spiritual one compared to classic psychedelics, being on MDMA (and similar drugs like methylone and the like) together with my boy-friend probably enabled me to have a romantic relationsship with him. I am able to be a lot more open and trusting and talk about stuff with him that I would usually not talk about with someone who hasn't been through similar things and much less a guy. For example I could never really talk about what I like or dislike when having sex or why I often don't want to have sex. When my boy-friend tried to bring up the subject I always got mute. At some point he cautiosly started talking about it when we were both on MDMA and that was the first time I could talk about it, which in turn helped our relationship a lot.
Ayahuasca: 7/10 My experience is limited, as I only had one proper ayahuasca trip as part of a ceremony with a shaman. However, this experience was quite interesting and provided me with some interesting knowledge about myself. So I'd say it has a lot of potential. However, it is more complicated to take compared to shrooms and LSD as you need to fast beforehand.
DMT (smoked): 1/10: Fun, very colourful, but no insights like on ayahuasca, because the effect is quite strong, but lasts only a few minutes.
DXM: 3/10: I am mainly including it here, because it was the first psychedelic drug (other than weed) and as such showed me the healing potential that psychedelic drugs can have. During my first high dose DXM trip I left my body on my trip and had to trust a friend to make sure that nothing in the real world would hurt my body. As I struggled with severe distrust at the time, this was quite an interesting experience for me. However, I don't recommend DXM, if you have access to other psychedelic drugs, as the side effects are quite strong (like feeling really hung over the next day).
Ketamine: 5/10. It is fun and I feel less stressed for a few days or a few weeks after taking it. However, especially with higher doses I don't remember much about the trip. And ketamine can be quite dark sometimes.
Weed: 7/10. The drug I have used the most in my life (excluding caffeine). It causes my mood to be more stable (although as I grew older my mood also stabilised a bit by itself) and more mellow in general. Plus I can go to sleep almost instantly, if I consume indica dominant strains. And I don't dream or don't remember my dreams which is also a plus. I also really like the fact that on weed I can be happy just being still, enjoying nature and be in an almost meditative state. As I am naturally a person who always needs to do something and gets bored extremely easily it is nice for me to be able to relax a little. I only give weed 7/10, because it has a negative effect on me, if I overdo it: For a positive effect I can consume weed anywhere between 1 or 2 times a week to daily, as long as I take care to only consume weed shortly before sleeping on most days. So I still spend most of my (free) time not being under the influence of weed. If I consume weed multiple times a day or even just in the evening, but as soon as I am finished working or doing my chores, weed makes be unhappy and lazy.
Benzodiazepines: 2/10: There were moments when I was grateful to have benzodiazepines at hand, for example after barely being able to sleep for several days due to extreme stress + long distance travel + jetlag. On these rare occasions a one time therapeutic dose helped me to reset my sleep schedule. But they are certainly only to be taken as an emergency medication as the tolerance builds up incredibly quick and I experienced rebound anxiety even after just taking diazepame weekly for a few weeks. And I know quite a few people who have struggled with benzodiazepine addiction and the withdrawal is harder and more dangerous than the withdrawal from heroine or fentanyl.


I don't give detailed descriptions of other drugs I have consumed, among them different opoids, cathinones, cocaine, amphetamines, methamphetamine, alcohol, salvia divinorum, because although they can be fun I don't think they have any healing effect for me.
When it comes to negative effects the worst for me was alcohol, mainly because its negative effects on my physical health (like getting sick more easily or making a sickness much worse when consuming while sick) as well as causing me to become unhappy when I drink daily for more than a few days. Buprenorphine caused me to become violent, so I wouldn't take it again. Opoids in general also seem to have a potential negative effect in the way that they numb feelings and can induce dysphoria as soon as a tolerance starts to build, but I haven't really taken them long enough to have much trouble with these side effects.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

I always want to try shrooms but I read it can make things worse when youre not in a good mindset taking them. Does anybody with a good experience have tips to benefit from it?

Honestly, I think people may twist the "mindset" part about taking it. Set and setting are very important, and a bad trip can be really problematic and dangerous, but it depends more upon how sorta laid-back and open to the experience you are. The first time I tried psychedelics, I was really interested and excited to try them, this ironically led me to a bad trip where I crashed out pretty massively. Latest time I tripped on psychedelics, I was thinking about death, but I was more "open" per se, I knew that if I just laid back and accepted the experience as it came, it'd be better. This led to a shift in my thinking of wanting death but not needing to die of the pain at that instant. Unfortunately, this effect does only tend to last for a couple days to weeks, and I'm back to feeling like I should die today or tomorrow, but that's not to say they can't help or have more lasting effects depending on your own constitution.

As to answer the thread itself, psychedelics helped for a bit, as stated. ProZac helped for a while, but I'm 50-50 on it. I take Adderall, caffeine, and nicotine almost daily and they seem to help some bit, especially with focus and concentration, but they never allow me to completely focus on what I'm doing so I'm not sure how well they're working. Been taking Seroquel for sleep but had to reduce my dosage personally and that led to more decent sleep for a couple of days but it just seems like every drug I take is bound to stop working. I don't know if anything can make life actually bearable for me consistently.

 

[explosiveKai99]

Shrooms if we talk about deep improvement. It was so long ago that I forgot everything. If I could get ahold of more it would probably fix me up for some time.
Ketamine, as bandaid solution. As long as I took it, I was too anasthetized to care about anything. I felt as my intelligence spiked up a bit.
Pregabalin, also knows as Lyrica. Can bring down my social phobia and I can actually function.

All of these are not easily obtainable for me right now, which is funny, because things exist that can help me, but nobody cares and even actively prevents me from getting better.

 

[WirelessConnections]

Alcohol is meh, it makes me do things I regret and the hangxiety afterwards feels like my whole world is crashing down, so I don't drink often. Social pressure makes it hard to quit entirely though :/

I had a similar experience with weed in terms of losing self control and being high 24/7. I quit because I thought it would make my life way better, but things didn't change that much. I took edibles for the first time in like a month yesterday and enjoyed them, but now I'm just scared about going back to daily use so I'm trying to maintain some self control.

I use nicotine pouches daily, I enjoy them but I don't think they have any affect on my life one way or the other.

 

[PlanB]

Kratom, but they are trying to make it illegal where I am. I am really scared since it was the only thing that worked.

 

[IrisGr3y_]

Seems like all these are limited-time only, as in, that they only work for some time, then you build up tolerance :(

It's a shame really, I could really use something to keep me euphoric and productive for an entire day.

Apperance is also a huge deal to me, so getting uglier through this would make it worse for me.

 

[ctb_warrior]

I wish to try some but it's impossible to procure. I have never been able to come across a legit source. I was scammed by one source on quora.

 

[WishfulNeanderthal]

White vein kratom made life much more bearable for me, albeit i did overdo it a bit. Did it for about half a year, i stopped drinking during that time, worked out a bunch, freelanced and i felt i had access to my actual energy span. Only downsides i felt was a bit more difficuilty sleeping, dry mouth/throat and some jitteryness.

Then Sweden banned it and i started drinking again after a couple of months, yayyy. I quit cold turkey on it and kinda felt a bit of a sniffle and like i had a very light cold for a week or so, after that, nothing.

 

[lastappleonearth]

Xanax, but it's always just temporary relief, better than nothing I guess. Tho I'm kinda dependent on it now, not fully addicted thankfully. I think I first abused it when I was 16. It's better if you never start I think

 

[kirillbledny]

I like weed, although it's a bit of a love/hate relationship. The good thing about it is that it always makes me feel better and I feel like it's relatively healthier to smoke a joint than sh to cope. And psychedelics, acid specifically. It can be a bit tricky tripping while actively suicidal, but I never had a really bad trip, at most just feeling weird for the second half of it.

 

[GardenGirl089]

I really miss the rush of amphetamines. There is no other feeling like that in all the world. I reckon that's what the knowledge of the apple in the garden of Eden was really about
But I can't handle them anymore
Oooohhh and I'll take sleeping pills and valium anytime I can get my hands on them. Which sadly isn't very often
Weed just made me paranoid. Funnily I was fine on coke
Honestly I think I'll always go back to being an addict in the end. Nothing else fills the emptiness in the same way. Sometimes I wonder, if I dont manage to ctb one day, will I be some 80 year old granny still scoring drugs or is there an age where you do eventually just get over it? I'm so careful not to get physically addicted to opiates. I only do it once a month for 4 days maximum. So it probably wont ever kill me. I don't build the tolerance required to overdo it. Am I gonna be the world's oldest junkie one day
Aaahhh so sad and pathetic. Sorry for ranting
Thank you for talking about this. People don't really seem to talk about drugs on here much
I'm too neurotic to make my own posts so I guess I just hijack other people's?!? Sorry
When I was a teenager we used to skip school and go pick magic mushrooms in the paddock next door. I grew up in the country

 

[MephiticShadow]

Hello gardengirl. I love plants.

 

[Musiclover338]

i like weed when it doesnt give me anxiety and freak the fuck out

alcohol is meh doesnt last long, damages body

shrooms u only get benefits at the higher doses 3.5 and up imo and it can be very truama inducing to me and i cry alot

actually moving to a legal weed state west coast before i try to off myself or CTB again, giving life one last shot somewhere else far from here

 

[telekon]

* I love weed 10/10
* Alcohol is good but it prolongs depression and can get messy fast 5/10
* MDMA is my favorite drug but I think this must be done in a club setting with a person you're close with 0/10 because the aftermath is literally the cause of so much suicide in my life
* Shrooms are most likely to make you have an epiphany about life that will make you want to live 8/10
* Opioids and maybe all other psych drugs will ruin you in the long run 0/10
* Nicotine 3/10 would be higher but it causes disease
* Cocaine/uppers I don't do often but these are fun sometimes 7/10

-I love to smoke weed. Weed made me less annoyed with people.
-Alcohol….eh. I don't like the taste but I want the buzz of it. I remember I drank so much one night, I shit blood lol.
-Poppers is cool too….just wish the head high you get from it lasts longer, and no jaundice in the eyes.

I do want to try shrooms before I die, but I don't think I will be able to.

If you can make it to Canada you can buy shrooms from a store like you're buying alcohol.

 

[Help_Me]

idk if alcohol counts, but it makes a me a bit easier...for the first 5-10 minutes :)

 

[valar_morghulis21]

i don't think i'm alone in trying to seek relief by indulging in a variety of unhealthy/questionable habits. it becomes a lot easier to justify when you grow increasingly desperate and have nothing to lose. ofc nothing will permanently fix this depression, but i enjoyed the occasional short-term relief some drugs provided.

1. Alcohol: i spent a few months binge-drinking 2 years ago when i was at my worst. drinking gave me brief moments of happiness (and sometimes still does), but in the long run i just got fat, lazy, and more miserable. hangover anxiety is also unbearable. 6/10
2. Xanax: almost impossible to acquire where i live, but my short experience with xanax was wonderful, likely only because i didn't have enough of a supply to form an addiction. it allowed me to just exist without wanting to blow my brains out. 9/10
3. Valium: significantly easier to find in my country but quite underwhelming, especially after trying xanax. 5/10
4. Weed: very enjoyable at first, however it eventually eroded my self control and i reached a point where i was high every single day, for months, neglecting every responsibility. now it just makes me extremely paranoid. 4/10
5. Opioids (Codeine): i found opioids pretty underwhelming, i guess i initially felt a little lighter and 'floaty' but this was immediately overshadowed by itchiness which lasted for hours. 4/10
6. Stimulants (Vyvanse, Dex, Ritalin): before i started regularly taking prescribed stimulants, vyvanse made me the happiest i had ever felt. i was always in a good mood, productive, and sociable, and these wonderful effects lasted for a year. i would experience a horrific comedown at the end of every day, but i didn't care much because i knew i would feel good again tomorrow. nowadays i don't feel much at all after taking my meds. 10/10
7. SSRIs/SNRIs (Prozac, Zoloft, Effexor): provided brief moments of stability, however these are difficult to enjoy when you're becoming fatter and sweatier with each passing day. gives some really weird dreams too. 3/10

adding a couple more i forgot to mention :p

• Nicotine: can be fun, but for such a short fleeting 'high', the health consequences aren't worth it for me. probably my favourite thing to do while drunk tho. 5/10
• Psychedelics (LSD): even though i've had a couple bad trips which sent me spiralling even further, i can't deny how beneficial acid has been in allowing me to reflect on my life and gain new perspectives. plus when it's good, it's really good ! i love listening to music on acid. (8/10)
• MDMA: a uniquely beautiful experience every time. it's difficult to describe because nothing else has ever made me feel like this. just pure bliss. unfortunately cannot be taken regularly or while using SSRIs. (9/10)

i'm curious if you were able to find something that helped you, even temporarily?

I did shrooms, weed, alcohol, cigarettes, SSRIs, and sleeping pills before. None of them were much of use, tho I find getting drunk and cleaning the apartment is quite enjoyable. I now just spend most of my time sober and being miserable lol. I wanted to try opioids but people warned me against them cause they are even worse than the default state of suicidal and depression.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I am in the US and have Dr prescribed stimulants for the day and Xanax for bedtime. Not good but I haven't had to increase the dosage for years and I'm 57. so who fucking cares.. I would be dead already without these crutches. I do love the feeling of being drunk but not worth feeling worse the next day.

 

[VirtualWorldIsBette]

Ketamine really. I was doing it all day and all night long until my parents found it. It felt like it slowed down my brain and helped me be more tranquil. There's also a lot of research backing ketamine use in treating depression, but in a clinical setting. Anti depressants and anti psychotics never seemed to work for me. Now I've just been using weed edibles and alcohol regularly to cope.

 

[Mortelles]

Cocaine helped me for a while till I got too thin and people started to notice. After that it was mainly alcohol and benzos

 

[SomewhereNew]

Sure, but only natural drugs. Don't look to illicit substances they will cloud your judgement and break down your body and mind faster and destroy you spiritually and your morals

 

[imissmycatsomuch]

CBD oil, amitriptyline, and effexor have helped me a lot. It's still not enough to make life bearable long-term for me, but while I'm here, I do feel a lot better on these 3 than without.