Venting Desiring lethality, wish to be carefree.

[It'sFine]

I'm almost at my breaking point.

I picked fashion design for my TAFE course and I regret picking it because i didn't find it interesting. Obviously it's my own fault for picking something i didn't enjoy and wish i could just disappear peacefully in the empty space where not even darkness would consume me.

I would want to live till next year but I don't think I'll make it till next year unless (x) but i wish i could just die without any pain, that would be the best thing to ever occur to me. Only if there were painless medications that puts you asleep forever within 5 minutes or less without any sensation then disappearing into the emptiness to seek beauty would be a dream.

Sometimes, living doesn't work out the way I want.
And in my case, it simply didn't work out.
When it doesn't work out, the best relief is to simply cease to exist.

 

[Withered]

Is this trouble with the course almost solely causing your duress or is this simply the straw that broke the camel's back?

 

[gottacheckout]

I'm sorry you are struggling. A lot of us wish there was an easy and painless way out. The part that pisses me off is there is a peaceful way out, we just can't get it. Not until the physical end of our life. Get 2 doctors to say you are going to die within 6 months and in certain states we win the lottery. At least in the state I live in that option exists. And you don't even need to live here but you still have to meet the criteria. I was with my dad when he decided he couldn't go on. He drank his "slurry" and a very short time later he fell asleep in my arms. A couple minutes later his heart stopped beating. It could not have been better for him.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm so sorry to hear you're in so much pain and suffering. I'm sending you a virtual hug I wish we had the ability to flip the switch and we could sleep forever! Are you able to talk to the schools advisor and maybe change at the end of your semester possibly? I thought you always have options in college? What is it about the program that is making you feel this way? Would you like to share more? I don't think it's uncommon for people to change majors, or feel they picked the wrong one. If you strongly feel you've made a mistake, it's your money, go to the Dean if you have to. Take a semester off if its causing you this much distress, it's not worth it. Life is hard enough already.