Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Today has gone pretty good. In the 4th and final quarter of my high. I was euphoric at first, but now I'm sleepy lol. I've hallucinated 2D cartoon characters which was pretty cool.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
Inside all day :aw: Ears burning, deaf and tinnitus raging. Not much sleep. Hate the rain. Finally got around to formatting my spare SSD so that's something done, at least.
 
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MichaelNomad123

MichaelNomad123

Jesus
Oct 15, 2020
433
I slept literally all day, missed my package and didn't get my shopping done. Oops.
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
When you spiral so bad that none of the normal coping mechanisms work but you still can't help but continue to spin out of control?
Can I die yet please? How much farther do I have to deteriorate?
 
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Rn110bg101

Rn110bg101

I want to go home
Apr 18, 2019
412
thinking about how i should have ctb last week because now they put another lockdown in my country which means my mother will be with me 24/7 which means my peace is now delayed by a full month and maybe even a half

and now i realize this means i won't die in october like i wished
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
the fact that i exist fills me with so much hatred and anger and rage.
disgusting. truly disgusting trash. vermin. worse than an ant. worse than a spider. worse than the smallest maggot.
all i do is hurt everyone. lie. cheat. pretend. im a liar princess in a cage ibuilt myself and there's nothing i can do to escape it.
except death.
please. please.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
My day is going ok so far. A little nauseous because there's nothing to really eat in the house that's low carb and I'm having hunger pangs.
 
stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
my day has been ok, probably because I had lots of sleep. but I also had an annoying incident that reminded me why I'm still afraid of strangers (men).
 
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G

greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,612
Calm and quiet compared to yesterday which was quite difficult and emotional.
 
Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,623
I worked a lot
 
http-410

http-410

nowhere
Sep 12, 2020
1,043
I can't remember everything since my mind is extremely foggy, but I'd say it's pretty bad.

For days I've been waking up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat and I have trouble falling asleep again. I'm spacing out a lot, even if I go for a walk. I tried to phone a doctor's office today, but their next appointments will be available next year in August. I really hope I'll be gone till then. Can't imagine to "live" with this shit forever, or until next year.

Everything is exhausting. Even if one tries to get help, obstacles are put in their way. I'm fucked up. This health care system is fucked up. I'm sick and tired of this, really.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Doing somewhat ok. Currently looking for psychologists and I think I've found one. Though the question is if he accepts my insurance. If he doesn't, I'm fucked. I'm sick of my therapist of 2 years for many reasons and want someone new
 
http-410

http-410

nowhere
Sep 12, 2020
1,043
Woke up way too early this morning with the urge to rip my head off. Managed to get myself up to go cycling, but became even more dissociated as a result. After that I cooked something and I'm eating right now, but I feel nauseous.
 
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kovkay

kovkay

Experienced
Jun 29, 2020
245
I've noticed I stopped enjoying sleep recently. I no longer have this urge to go back to sleep after waking up in the morning. You know how you feel extra comfortable in the bed in the mornings? Yeah, I don't get that anymore.

I also wake up at around 2am and have to be awake for a couple of hours before going back to sleep. I usually get the urge to watch 2000's pop or kpop or random videos like the knees over toes guy or mewing.

Went on two walks, one of which was in the rain and everything looks so good, it almost felt like I was tripping on acid.

Washed the floors, the dishes, and watched the final episode of a show which had a bittersweet ending.

It was a pretty good Sunday.
 
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Lucien

Lucien

A Nameless Monster
Mar 7, 2021
130
Already filled with despair even though there are many, many hours to go until I can lay in complete silence.
 
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Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Nov 30, 2020
2,050
Going up the street with a support worker soon. Hope i don't get too stressed because the fucking whispering in my head will start.
 
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TattiQueen

TattiQueen

Student
Sep 12, 2020
111
Today my day is actually starting quite well! It's a little drab/dreary and rainy here , which I love (it's my favorite weather , aside from flat out thunderstorms) Usually I can't make it out of the house without some form of anxiety , anger , frustration , etc. but today has been relatively free of that so far, amazingly. I'm gonna just take off and run with it. Hope everyone else has a beautiful and somewhat stress free day
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,744
NEET + gym. High level of acceptance of my situation and letting my ego take a back-seat lead to lower anxiety-and-pain levels.
 
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Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Nov 30, 2020
2,050
NEET + gym. High level of acceptance of my situation and letting my ego take a back-seat lead to lower anxiety-and-pain levels.
I filmed myself last time I was pumping: (is that the word?)
C68e977d1d10b54ad7e002c8dffe9c09
 
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sadbadpsychogirl

sadbadpsychogirl

sonofabitch
May 29, 2020
725
well not to be too gross but i'm having explosive diarrhea, i haven't got the meds i need yet, and later i'm going for a covid vaccine, have to buy dog food.... so all in all not great
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
I woke up 3 hours ago and I wanted to cry because it's Monday and I have so much stuff to do, especially working.
I was about to call of all my lessons and stay in me bed crying and sleeping but I got the strength to take a shower and now I'm feeling better.
I will try to kick today's ass.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
Same old shit. Different day. I am so over this.
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,988
Not well,l want to ctb so badly but have my dog to look after!
 
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G

greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,612
lonely
 
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T

the end is near

Member
Mar 9, 2020
29
not good - as it stands right now I'll probably be homeless next month
 
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killedbypsychiatry

killedbypsychiatry

drugging kids is abuse
Jan 27, 2021
797
flashbacks flashbacks flashbacks, breakdown, want to die, flashbacks, rage, emotional eating, overwhelmed, breakdown, rage, breakdown
 
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sparkie

sparkie

Student
Mar 14, 2021
175
Like trying to walk back to the beach when im fighting the pull of the current back out to sea in otherwords its a struggle
 
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Reactions: Mentalmick

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