Depressive cognitive decline (?)

[pixelposting]

Is there anyone else? For the past two months, I've declined heavily, whether it be from my terrible coping mechanisms (too humiliating to say), which could have played a part in why my brain feels so disconnected and torn, it's been making me more suicidal than usual, which is to say, every day. I try very hard to keep my spirits up, but I look back on previous conversations not too long ago where I still had my normal personality and my humor and my intelligence, and it completely pulls me back down. My memory is the worst its ever been, and even simple conversations are a struggle and I often find myself in uncomfortable, awkward silence because for the first time I have no idea what to say or continue with. Its extremely disheartening, and I've lost all will to participate in any of the hobbies I found "fun" or "entertaining", and I cry all day and night for no apparent reason. It really feels like brain damage, even though I know better. All the worse is nobody in my circle has tried to reach out, its been making me even more miserable knowing they don't particularly care or worry the same way I have with them.

I know brain fog is associated with clinical depression, but it feels very abnormal and not the usual kind that's been already following me for three years. Just had to get it out somewhere, thank you for taking the time to read. <3

 

[atre]

Cognitive decline is a known thing unfortunately, when left untreated for years it can manifest, and become more intense over the years. I can emphatise, constantly forgetting the words you're going to use, having no motivation for anything, feeling like you are 70 when you are in your twenties or such... I hope you get rid of all these symptoms, take care.

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel the same. More and more memory loss (except for traumatic memories... it doesn't make sense). I used to like chatting with people, but since I quit my job 5 years ago, I'm a total different person. Completely isolated. I just hope to keep my mind until ctb and not forgetting to do it...

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Yeah, in the year that followed the traumatic event that destroyed my life & set me on the path to CTB, I couldn't remember shit (& my memory is normally good). In your case though, it might be worth bringing up with your doctor, and yes, people can be disappointing.

 

[h4ppyhypoxia]

yes absolutely my cognition has declined significantly because of my eating disorder but also being depressed, its a double whammy that impacts my functioning at university, being depressed makes me not interested in engaging with things, my eating disorder makes it impossible when i finally have interest because my brain is too starved to maintain proper focus