Venting Depression made me stupid

[dayhell]

It's horrible how much my intellect has deteriorated after about 10 years of depression. I used to be smart, a fast learner, always got the best grades, and everyone thought I would go to university. But I got depressed in high school and couldn't continue my studies. Since then I've always been in too much pain to pay attention to the things happening around me or care about the people who love me and I don't know anything about them or the world. At this point I don't even understand basic things that everyone seems to get and I keep making mistakes and causing inconvenience at my minimum wage job because of how stupid I am. I always forget everything, constantly need help with something, often lose awareness of my surroundings, I'm slow and inefficient, and not even good company. I don't know the answer to the simplest of questions that come up in everyday conversation and it's really embarrassing. I wonder if my brain is just damaged after all this pain and suffering. I just want it all to end.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

yeah i also relate to that heavly im not depressed as long as u are or it didnt affect me as much but i still felt the stagnation in my life. I feel like i wasted a lot of time i could use to learn and alot of opportunities have been permanently closed. Whatever u choose to do etheir it be CTB or recovery i wish u all the luck and remember u are not stupid u didnt chose to be depressed and feel so much pain that basic things are a trouble for u now. Much love and once again good luck on your journey whatever u choose to do going forward

 

[dayhell]

Thank you, I appreciate your support.

 

[darksouls]

I am so sorry you are suffering so much
I also relate to that
my brain was damaged by sepsis
I wish you the best

 

[dayhell]

I am so sorry you are suffering so much
I also relate to that
my brain was damaged by sepsis
I wish you the best

Damn, that sucks too... it's really not easy for either of us, thanks

 

[white_car]

It's not just an impression. This is a well documented phenomenon. Pain does reduce cognitive abilities.

 

[openBottomJeans]

Yes, I agree. More so socially for me than academically. Now, it's a struggle for me just to hold conversations. Think of engaging questions to ask.. 10, hell , even 5 years ago I was able to do this without questioning myself.

It's been a real shame as it hinders my ability to grow my clientele base

 

[patheticparasite]

Now, it's a struggle for me just to hold conversations. Think of engaging questions to ask..

I'm so envious of people who are able to hold a conversation. I hate awkward silence, but all I can do is leave the situation. As a kid I was lucky to have talkative friends.

So, has depression made me stupid? No. Stupidity made me depressed. Some people say stupid people don't know they're stupid. I don't agree.

 

[dayhell]

Some people say stupid people don't know they're stupid. I don't agree.

I don't agree either.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I get this,, didn't help growing up being homeschool the majority of my childhood and through my teen years,, If mom didn't know,, I didn't need to, not like I was pushed to be as explorative or pushed to analyze situation outside or in public settings, I mean I wasn't even really allowed outside, not without being accompanied always and being encouraged to stay indoors, anything and everything, I do not blame my mom because I'm the end it was my lack of being able to grasp any understanding...
The only thing I didn't need to really understand was dance, to keep my life busy ya know, from going to the kingdom hall to four five different dance classes and regulated friends, but I don't even know how to add high numbers together or I don't understand division or trigonometry none of that shit,, I only know my 5× table and can't go past my 2× times table only getting to 14 before having to slowly count the rest with my fingers, but I get the feeling,, and I feel my nihilism is only making me more stupid in a way heh

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I sympathize. I used to do great in school, now I can't even read a book. It's hard to do anything when life is miserable and it all seems pointless.