Discussion Depression & Hypersexuality

[crxssedho3]

This is also kind of a vent because I hate myself.

Does anyone else here diagnosed with depression or not experience hypersexuality? Ive also read it being called Histronic personality disorder and my doctor (some old man who thinks im lying about everything) says I could have bpd but i havent been diagnosed with it and one of the symptoms for that is also hypersexuality/ promiscuity. Anyways, Its really frustrating me. Whenever I dont feel numb I feel like I need to talk about sex, do it, see it, etc. Its the only thing that makes me feel loved or excited. Whats even worse is I have trauma surrounding certain acts but I just do it even more. Im destroying myself becasue I really dont know who i am as a person, what i like, what makes me happy, nothing. I live with my s/o which makes this problem even worse especially since sex is all he cares about too. our relationship feels like it has no meaning and its killing me. He hasnt planned a single date for us in a whole year of being together. i tried so hard at the beginning but i gave up asking him to take me out and treat me like a person. at some point after I turned 18 i realized that my sexuality is something people will always love me for till im not longer young and pretty so i feel like thats why im exploiting it so much. I hate my life and how I act towards people but it feels so out of my control sometimes. The idea of ctb is so appealing and has been for sometime now. I feel like since I dont know myself and dont really want to anymore, it would be the best thing for me because this is just too hard. I lost my entire family in a month and the people left around me dont care so its a good time, a girl with no motivation, drive, or will doesnt need to be here. he can find what he needs in every other girl on the planet. Im really done

 

[SmollMushroom]

I'm depressed, before starting with the meds I used to masturbate quite a lot, but now my libido is to the ground due to meds.
I think you should consider changing partner because they look like an asshole.
For the hypersexuality thing, I'd suggest you to try taking some anti-depressant or anxiolytics from your doc, they really turn you down.

 

[lita-lassi]

honest in-depth discussions about why we do certain things with a good therapist can really help us feel less completely hopeless and fucked up. you're incredibly not alone in this; i did the same thing for years and know so many other women that did/do the same every day. it feels like giving away parts of yourself bit by bit hoping to recieve the same in return but with wrong people so soon you feel empty and useless. there ARE people that will love you entirely, plan dates and try and you deserve to know what that feels like. i hope you can find independence and tackle your specific reasons for why you feel you need to do this to yourself/let others do it you fuck your shitty bf with broken glass imo

 

[carnivalforone]

i only recently found out about hypersexuality but i realized i tick all the boxes it genuinely sucks. i feel happy when im in it i feel loved and desired, Im sorry about your s/o's lack of plans i hope it gets better or u find a solution

 

[crxssedho3]

I'm depressed, before starting with the meds I used to masturbate quite a lot, but now my libido is to the ground due to meds.
I think you should consider changing partner because they look like an asshole.
For the hypersexuality thing, I'd suggest you to try taking some anti-depressant or anxiolytics from your doc, they really turn you down.

I don't want to take meds, I can't afford medical help anyways atm and my s/o doesn't believe in therapy or meds and stuff so I can't get that either. I'm trapped kinda :/ I just want to die

i only recently found out about hypersexuality but i realized i tick all the boxes it genuinely sucks. i feel happy when im in it i feel loved and desired, Im sorry about your s/o's lack of plans i hope it gets better or u find a solution

Right? It feels so good in the moment but after I genuinely want to cry. Thank you for the kind words.

 

[Mrpickles]

I can only speak from a guy's perspective, but if you're looking to remove that urge, antidepressants are the way to go. After a year or so on them, that drive is non-existent. But also I imagine you are early 20's, so having a high drive really could be part of that and not related to depression. Your SO sounds like an asshole. My wife and I have been together for 13 years, I still take her on dates and we rarely bang lol. Her drive is low, and me being put on antidepressants brought me down to her level.

 

[crxssedho3]

I can only speak from a guy's perspective, but if you're looking to remove that urge, antidepressants are the way to go. After a year or so on them, that drive is non-existent. But also I imagine you are early 20's, so having a high drive really could be part of that and not related to depression. Your SO sounds like an asshole. My wife and I have been together for 13 years, I still take her on dates and we rarely bang lol. Her drive is low, and me being put on antidepressants brought me down to her level.

I'm 19 you could be right but I think I'm doing too much, I looked up the thing about anti depressants and that seems like the best course for me I just need to somehow get them. You sound like a good husband. He didn't even remember what my last name is and it's been a full year. I feel like nothing

 

[lita-lassi]

I don't want to take meds, I can't afford medical help anyways atm and my s/o doesn't believe in therapy or meds and stuff so I can't get that either. I'm trapped kinda :/ I just want to die

wow yeah i reiterate fuck him with broken glass, he should let you help yourself in some way and if he doesnt its abusive and controlling

 

[With0ut]

i've been diagnosed with bpd for a while now and i really struggle with hyper-sexuality, to the point that it's really the only way i know how to show love, but doing it never makes me feel loved. I feel hurt if i get rejected and even worse when i actually do it, even with people i love. It's something that you really have to work at controlling and some people just can't. It's a really big part of my self loathing and i hate that i have to deal with it so i'm sorry that you have to too.

 

[crxssedho3]

i've been diagnosed with bpd for a while now and i really struggle with hyper-sexuality, to the point that it's really the only way i know how to show love, but doing it never makes me feel loved. I feel hurt if i get rejected and even worse when i actually do it, even with people i love. It's something that you really have to work at controlling and some people just can't. It's a really big part of my self loathing and i hate that i have to deal with it so i'm sorry that you have to too.

Sounds like we have a really similar situation, I hate myself so much for my hyper sexuality I want to be the girl people want to love because they want to not because I let them have everything. My rejection sensitivity is off the charts as well, i spiral for days if I'm rejected or if they don't seem as enthusiastic as me

i've been diagnosed with bpd for a while now and i really struggle with hyper-sexuality, to the point that it's really the only way i know how to show love, but doing it never makes me feel loved. I feel hurt if i get rejected and even worse when i actually do it, even with people i love. It's something that you really have to work at controlling and some people just can't. It's a really big part of my self loathing and i hate that i have to deal with it so i'm sorry that you have to too.

I hope it gets better for you as well though something that's been helping me a little bit is working out it lets me take my anger out on myself while I think about calm ways to react to a situation.

 

[With0ut]

i've actually been thinking about that idea, working out to help with it, distract myself, i already work construction and it helps me think without spiraling. maybe i'll even get to look good for the end . thanks for a extra little push.

 

[mothercoin]

This is also kind of a vent because I hate myself.

Does anyone else here diagnosed with depression or not experience hypersexuality? Ive also read it being called Histronic personality disorder and my doctor (some old man who thinks im lying about everything) says I could have bpd but i havent been diagnosed with it and one of the symptoms for that is also hypersexuality/ promiscuity. Anyways, Its really frustrating me. Whenever I dont feel numb I feel like I need to talk about sex, do it, see it, etc. Its the only thing that makes me feel loved or excited. Whats even worse is I have trauma surrounding certain acts but I just do it even more. Im destroying myself becasue I really dont know who i am as a person, what i like, what makes me happy, nothing. I live with my s/o which makes this problem even worse especially since sex is all he cares about too. our relationship feels like it has no meaning and its killing me. He hasnt planned a single date for us in a whole year of being together. i tried so hard at the beginning but i gave up asking him to take me out and treat me like a person. at some point after I turned 18 i realized that my sexuality is something people will always love me for till im not longer young and pretty so i feel like thats why im exploiting it so much. I hate my life and how I act towards people but it feels so out of my control sometimes. The idea of ctb is so appealing and has been for sometime now. I feel like since I dont know myself and dont really want to anymore, it would be the best thing for me because this is just too hard. I lost my entire family in a month and the people left around me dont care so its a good time, a girl with no motivation, drive, or will doesnt need to be here. he can find what he needs in every other girl on the planet. Im really done

I have bpd and this sounds really similar to how I was at your age. There is DBT therapy that can help you manage your emotions. I hope you can get the help you need and try it out.

 

[dragontale14]

This is also kind of a vent because I hate myself.

Does anyone else here diagnosed with depression or not experience hypersexuality? Ive also read it being called Histronic personality disorder and my doctor (some old man who thinks im lying about everything) says I could have bpd but i havent been diagnosed with it and one of the symptoms for that is also hypersexuality/ promiscuity. Anyways, Its really frustrating me. Whenever I dont feel numb I feel like I need to talk about sex, do it, see it, etc. Its the only thing that makes me feel loved or excited. Whats even worse is I have trauma surrounding certain acts but I just do it even more. Im destroying myself becasue I really dont know who i am as a person, what i like, what makes me happy, nothing. I live with my s/o which makes this problem even worse especially since sex is all he cares about too. our relationship feels like it has no meaning and its killing me. He hasnt planned a single date for us in a whole year of being together. i tried so hard at the beginning but i gave up asking him to take me out and treat me like a person. at some point after I turned 18 i realized that my sexuality is something people will always love me for till im not longer young and pretty so i feel like thats why im exploiting it so much. I hate my life and how I act towards people but it feels so out of my control sometimes. The idea of ctb is so appealing and has been for sometime now. I feel like since I dont know myself and dont really want to anymore, it would be the best thing for me because this is just too hard. I lost my entire family in a month and the people left around me dont care so its a good time, a girl with no motivation, drive, or will doesnt need to be here. he can find what he needs in every other girl on the planet. Im really done

I am officially diagnosed with BP2, however my psych now thinks I'm probably BPD as well/instead. I have experienced hypersexuality my entire life since childhood. This wasn't sparked by being Molested, however I feel like as a kid I was purposefully purring myself in harms way with the hope of getting Molested, sick as that sounds. I've been raped/sexually assaulted many times and even then I still seek out risky and dangerous sexual encounters. Now I'm concerned that I might have HIV, I got tested today but the results don't come back for a few days. The only time I'm not hypersexual is when I'm very, very depressed., funny enough?

 

[crxssedho3]

i've actually been thinking about that idea, working out to help with it, distract myself, i already work construction and it helps me think without spiraling. maybe i'll even get to look good for the end . thanks for a extra little push.

That's the goal for me at least, I hope it works out for you!

I am officially diagnosed with BP2, however my psych now thinks I'm probably BPD as well/instead. I have experienced hypersexuality my entire life since childhood. This wasn't sparked by being Molested, however I feel like as a kid I was purposefully purring myself in harms way with the hope of getting Molested, sick as that sounds. I've been raped/sexually assaulted many times and even then I still seek out risky and dangerous sexual encounters. Now I'm concerned that I might have HIV, I got tested today but the results don't come back for a few days. The only time I'm not hypersexual is when I'm very, very depressed., funny enough?

same here, when I'm too sad or in my own head I can't seek out anything and it makes me feel like I'm broken because sex is the only "right" thing about me. But I hope your results are good and negative! Best of luck

 

[Blue Elephant]

Well, it looks to me like I'm not doing half as bad as most of you are but I'll throw my opinion in as well, maybe it will help.

@crxssedho3 For the record I don't like doctors, I don't trust most of them and I try to avoid medicine as much as possible. I take mostly supplements (vitamins, minerals) and natural products. These are cheap, healthy and easy to get. I am almost 41 and most of my ideas come from experience, research, logic and understanding.

1. I have not been diagnosed with depression, I don't need a doctor to tell me how I feel, I know how I feel. I don't think depression is a disease but a state of mind which can last for days, months, years or forever depending on what we're going through. That being said I see how anti-depressants might help but not how they can fix the situation. In order to heal depression you need to remove the source that brings you down. If you can't fully remove the source then maybe at least you can bring it to acceptable levels or maybe counter it. My main counter was my ex. When I was with her, when I was doing something for her, everything around (no matter how bad) mattered very very little.

2. I'm obsessed with watching porn, I have always been. I like having sex but I never had the option, I was a virgin until 37 (because of various external and internal factors) until I met my ex. Amazingly she liked having sex too and it was a beautiful thing. At that point I didn't need to watch porn anymore. This is where it gets strange though, being with the person that I loved, I was happy having sex 1-3 times per day or 1 time per week but now that I'm alone, if I stay inside I could probably jerk off 5 times per day and it would still not be enough. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is that maybe your sexual drive is not necessarily constant but it is influenced by certain things and situations. Also I don't think that this desire is a bad thing. If you like sex then go ahead and enjoy it as much as possible, don't repress and frustrate yourself, that's bad, that's self-destruction. Just.. make sure you do it with the right guys!

 

[crxssedho3]

Well, it looks to me like I'm not doing half as bad as most of you are but I'll throw my opinion in as well, maybe it will help.

@crxssedho3 For the record I don't like doctors, I don't trust most of them and I try to avoid medicine as much as possible. I take mostly supplements (vitamins, minerals) and natural products. These are cheap, healthy and easy to get. I am almost 41 and most of my ideas come from experience, research, logic and understanding.

1. I have not been diagnosed with depression, I don't need a doctor to tell me how I feel, I know how I feel. I don't think depression is a disease but a state of mind which can last for days, months, years or forever depending on what we're going through. That being said I see how anti-depressants might help but not how they can fix the situation. In order to heal depression you need to remove the source that brings you down. If you can't fully remove the source then maybe at least you can bring it to acceptable levels or maybe counter it. My main counter was my ex. When I was with her, when I was doing something for her, everything around (no matter how bad) mattered very very little.

2. I'm obsessed with watching porn, I have always been. I like having sex but I never had the option, I was a virgin until 37 (because of various external and internal factors) until I met my ex. Amazingly she liked having sex too and it was a beautiful thing. At that point I didn't need to watch porn anymore. This is where it gets strange though, being with the person that I loved, I was happy having sex 1-3 times per day or 1 time per week but now that I'm alone, if I stay inside I could probably jerk off 5 times per day and it would still not be enough. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is that maybe your sexual drive is not necessarily constant but it is influenced by certain things and situations. Also I don't think that this desire is a bad thing. If you like sex then go ahead and enjoy it as much as possible, don't repress and frustrate yourself, that's bad, that's self-destruction. Just.. make sure you do it with the right guys!

I see where you're coming from but I think they only recommended anti depressants to lower my libido not to treat my depression, I don't believe in doctors either. They want to push a product as much as any mega corp lol. I only have sex with my s/o but it feels like never enough because certain factors just aren't there and my hyper sexuality makes me overwhelm him I guess. It makes me frustrated with myself. Porn addiction is a real thing porn has been proven to cause almost irreversible damage to the psyche I can't watch it anymore or I'd get addicted too with my personality. it's a slippery slope, I hope you can get away from. since I'm in a relationship I stay away from it but it's hard when he doesn't act as passionate or excited as me, that causes a slew of other issues altogether

 

[PlathWannaBe]

This is also kind of a vent because I hate myself.

Does anyone else here diagnosed with depression or not experience hypersexuality? Ive also read it being called Histronic personality disorder and my doctor (some old man who thinks im lying about everything) says I could have bpd but i havent been diagnosed with it and one of the symptoms for that is also hypersexuality/ promiscuity. Anyways, Its really frustrating me. Whenever I dont feel numb I feel like I need to talk about sex, do it, see it, etc. Its the only thing that makes me feel loved or excited. Whats even worse is I have trauma surrounding certain acts but I just do it even more. Im destroying myself becasue I really dont know who i am as a person, what i like, what makes me happy, nothing. I live with my s/o which makes this problem even worse especially since sex is all he cares about too. our relationship feels like it has no meaning and its killing me. He hasnt planned a single date for us in a whole year of being together. i tried so hard at the beginning but i gave up asking him to take me out and treat me like a person. at some point after I turned 18 i realized that my sexuality is something people will always love me for till im not longer young and pretty so i feel like thats why im exploiting it so much. I hate my life and how I act towards people but it feels so out of my control sometimes. The idea of ctb is so appealing and has been for sometime now. I feel like since I dont know myself and dont really want to anymore, it would be the best thing for me because this is just too hard. I lost my entire family in a month and the people left around me dont care so its a good time, a girl with no motivation, drive, or will doesnt need to be here. he can find what he needs in every other girl on the planet. Im really done

I would not recommend taking antidepressants to dampen your sexuality at all.

I took antidepressants, and they have destroyed me sexually and made it very difficult for me to have sex or even have an orgasm when I'm alone. This is one of the reasons I'm on this site. I stopped taking the medication, and developed sexual dysfunction afterwards (It's called PSSD, you can Google it.)

Doctors even prescribe antidepressants to sex offenders as a way to dampen their sexuality and sex drive, so this is a well known phenomenon.

I understand that hypersexuality could also be frustrating, but I would honestly rather have my sexuality back, even if it meant I were hypersexual, and I would try to find a way to control it.

Depending on where you live, you could also see if there are any support groups in your area.

 

[Blue Elephant]

I would not recommend taking antidepressants to dampen your sexuality at all.

I took antidepressants, and they have destroyed me sexually and made it very difficult for me to have sex or even have an orgasm when I'm alone. This is one of the reasons I'm on this site. I stopped taking the medication, and developed sexual dysfunction afterwards (It's called PSSD, you can Google it.)

Doctors even prescribe antidepressants to sex offenders as a way to dampen their sexuality and sex drive, so this is a well known phenomenon.

I understand that hypersexuality could also be frustrating, but I would honestly rather have my sexuality back, even if it meant I were hypersexual, and I would try to find a way to control it.

Depending on where you live, you could also see if there are any support groups in your area.

@crxssedho3 as @PlathWannaBe well said. This is why I hate meds! Fuck! I'm sorry @PlathWannaBe! : (

Listen, it's a normal urge to fuck, to have sex. It is not a bad thing, I don't see why you should suppress that.

I see where you're coming from but I think they only recommended anti depressants to lower my libido not to treat my depression, I don't believe in doctors either. They want to push a product as much as any mega corp lol. I only have sex with my s/o but it feels like never enough because certain factors just aren't there and my hyper sexuality makes me overwhelm him I guess. It makes me frustrated with myself. Porn addiction is a real thing porn has been proven to cause almost irreversible damage to the psyche I can't watch it anymore or I'd get addicted too with my personality. it's a slippery slope, I hope you can get away from. since I'm in a relationship I stay away from it but it's hard when he doesn't act as passionate or excited as me, that causes a slew of other issues altogether

@crxssedho3 Most doctors are in it for the money not because they care. What if you can't pay them because you're poor!? see how they treat you then.

Certain factors as in love, attraction? If these are not there of course it's not enough. What I liked about my past relationship was that we cared deeply and that we strived to make each other feel good. We both knew what we liked, how we wanted to be treated during the act and we procedeed accordingly. It sounds to me like you and your guy are not compatible. Maybe you want to overwhelm him or maybe he's not doing enough since you're drive is high. Or maybe your drive is high because he's not doing enough.

Woah! Hold on there! Maybe I said something wrong but I never meant that you should fix this by watch porn. I mentioned it as an example of a different situation in which a hypersexual person can be in, as a comparison. I wanted to point out that hypersexuality can manifest differently in different cases and that it may not be a problem in certain situations. It may not be a problem if you change the variables, like when you're with the right person and doing stuff right. If you get sex right (hehe! this sounds funny) then that might be enough and your urge might shrink. I don't know, I hope I managed to explain it right this time.

And I'm not going to distance myself from porn. I'm not ashamed by it, I have some control over it and I rather do this then taking meds. It's the lessser evil.

edit: Plus, I learned a lot from porn! It allowed me to give many pleasures to my ex. It's just another thing that can be good if used responsibly. : )

 

[PlathWannaBe]

@crxssedho3 as @PlathWannaBe well said. This is why I hate meds! Fuck! I'm sorry @PlathWannaBe! : (

Listen, it's a normal urge to fuck, to have sex. It is not a bad thing, I don't see why you should suppress that.



@crxssedho3 Most doctors are in it for the money not because they care. What if you can't pay them because you're poor!? see how they treat you then.

Certain factors as in love, attraction? If these are not there of course it's not enough. What I liked about my past relationship was that we cared deeply and that we strived to make each other feel good. We both knew what we liked, how we wanted to be treated during the act and we procedeed accordingly. It sounds to me like you and your guy are not compatible. Maybe you want to overwhelm him or maybe he's not doing enough since you're drive is high. Or maybe your drive is high because he's not doing enough.

Woah! Hold on there! Maybe I said something wrong but I never meant that you should fix this by watch porn. I mentioned it as an example of a different situation in which a hypersexual person can be in, as a comparison. I wanted to point out that hypersexuality can manifest differently in different cases and that it may not be a problem in certain situations. It may not be a problem if you change the variables, like when you're with the right person and doing stuff right. If you get sex right (hehe! this sounds funny) then that might be enough and your urge might shrink. I don't know, I hope I managed to explain it right this time.

And I'm not going to distance myself from porn. I'm not ashamed by it, I have some control over it and I rather do this then taking meds. It's the lessser evil.

edit: Plus, I learned a lot from porn! It allowed me to give many pleasures to my ex. It's just another thing that can be good if used responsibly. : )

@Blue Elephant is exactly right. Sex is completely normal. Even if you have a high sex drive, that is normal too. And porn use is normal as well.

There is no such thing as a sex addiction, no matter how much sex you have or want to have, because unlike substances (Alcohol, Cigarettes, Cocaine, etc), you can't separate yourself from your body and your natural sex drive. If you look into the DSM, there's no such thing as a sex addiction.

I also don't think porn use should be shamed either. I know I love porn and have been a high consumer. With porn, the question to ask yourself is- how much time do you spend consuming it, and how often does it lead to you being alone? If you dont feel like it's a problem for you, then it's ok.

@crxssedho3 as @PlathWannaBe well said. This is why I hate meds! Fuck! I'm sorry @PlathWannaBe! : (

Listen, it's a normal urge to fuck, to have sex. It is not a bad thing, I don't see why you should suppress that.



@crxssedho3 Most doctors are in it for the money not because they care. What if you can't pay them because you're poor!? see how they treat you then.

Certain factors as in love, attraction? If these are not there of course it's not enough. What I liked about my past relationship was that we cared deeply and that we strived to make each other feel good. We both knew what we liked, how we wanted to be treated during the act and we procedeed accordingly. It sounds to me like you and your guy are not compatible. Maybe you want to overwhelm him or maybe he's not doing enough since you're drive is high. Or maybe your drive is high because he's not doing enough.

Woah! Hold on there! Maybe I said something wrong but I never meant that you should fix this by watch porn. I mentioned it as an example of a different situation in which a hypersexual person can be in, as a comparison. I wanted to point out that hypersexuality can manifest differently in different cases and that it may not be a problem in certain situations. It may not be a problem if you change the variables, like when you're with the right person and doing stuff right. If you get sex right (hehe! this sounds funny) then that might be enough and your urge might shrink. I don't know, I hope I managed to explain it right this time.

And I'm not going to distance myself from porn. I'm not ashamed by it, I have some control over it and I rather do this then taking meds. It's the lessser evil.

edit: Plus, I learned a lot from porn! It allowed me to give many pleasures to my ex. It's just another thing that can be good if used responsibly. : )

Thank you btw @Blue Elephant, that means something. I wish I had never taken antidepressants. They have ruined my life and my sexuality.

No one realizes how important your sexuality is, until it's gone or severely damaged

 

[crxssedho3]

@crxssedho3 as @PlathWannaBe well said. This is why I hate meds! Fuck! I'm sorry @PlathWannaBe! : (

Listen, it's a normal urge to fuck, to have sex. It is not a bad thing, I don't see why you should suppress that.



@crxssedho3 Most doctors are in it for the money not because they care. What if you can't pay them because you're poor!? see how they treat you then.

Certain factors as in love, attraction? If these are not there of course it's not enough. What I liked about my past relationship was that we cared deeply and that we strived to make each other feel good. We both knew what we liked, how we wanted to be treated during the act and we procedeed accordingly. It sounds to me like you and your guy are not compatible. Maybe you want to overwhelm him or maybe he's not doing enough since you're drive is high. Or maybe your drive is high because he's not doing enough.

Woah! Hold on there! Maybe I said something wrong but I never meant that you should fix this by watch porn. I mentioned it as an example of a different situation in which a hypersexual person can be in, as a comparison. I wanted to point out that hypersexuality can manifest differently in different cases and that it may not be a problem in certain situations. It may not be a problem if you change the variables, like when you're with the right person and doing stuff right. If you get sex right (hehe! this sounds funny) then that might be enough and your urge might shrink. I don't know, I hope I managed to explain it right this time.

And I'm not going to distance myself from porn. I'm not ashamed by it, I have some control over it and I rather do this then taking meds. It's the lessser evil.

edit: Plus, I learned a lot from porn! It allowed me to give many pleasures to my ex. It's just another thing that can be good if used responsibly. : )

No Im very much in love and attracted to him but I don't feel he has the same passion for me and I'm so extremely sensitive to shit like that. He doesn't really try as hard for me when it comes to anything including sex, it makes me even more sexually frustrated so I guess you're right hes not doing enough but I feel like that's my fault for being too much in the first place. I don't want to cheat on him nor would I ever but all these thoughts I have because of hypersexuality make me feel like a terrible fucked up person. I just want to be normal and I want to be enough for him to treat me like he's in love with me too lol. I'm not saying I don't want to have sex anymore I love sex obviously I'm obsessed with it I'm saying my hyper sexuality is something is struggle with because it's almost out of my control. I put myself in dangerous or risky situations out of some sick need in my subconscious I hate myself so much for it.

And yea I think I misunderstood your point in the porn thing that's my bad, to each their own I'm glad you can consume that media without succumbing to it. Me on the other hand, can not and will not again because it does mess with my brain my perception of myself and even sex altogether. I can see it helping others with maybe a less addictive personality.

I won't turn to meds to suppress my sexuality after all, like you said they just want money and I am not part of the rich mentally ill demographic that can just pay therapists and doctors up the wazoo for meds that I know won't even work and will damage my brain even more xd