
MindFog
The fire has gone out for good.
- Nov 19, 2020
- 623
All the xmas threads just remind me of this topic. I just wanted to share.
When its the festive season, It just makes me want stuff, even if its just for leisure. Which is funny cause before being suicidal, I'm very careful with money. I feel like my weakened mental state makes me want to get a product for instant gratification. I can still manage it, but it gives me undue stress. Xmas makes its double with all the gift giving and discounts. I can't stay away from shops even if i want to.
My weird brain would even hold into that thing (even for years), and always nag me for not getting it. But if i actually buy it, there's prepackaged guilt included. I can never win.
The only thing preventing me from burning my wallet, is that I'm broke. But now even looking at ads reminds me that I'm unemployed so it makes me feel worse. Consumerism is not good for my mental state.
Anyone feeling the same way? I love this season but it's hurting my brain.
When its the festive season, It just makes me want stuff, even if its just for leisure. Which is funny cause before being suicidal, I'm very careful with money. I feel like my weakened mental state makes me want to get a product for instant gratification. I can still manage it, but it gives me undue stress. Xmas makes its double with all the gift giving and discounts. I can't stay away from shops even if i want to.
My weird brain would even hold into that thing (even for years), and always nag me for not getting it. But if i actually buy it, there's prepackaged guilt included. I can never win.
The only thing preventing me from burning my wallet, is that I'm broke. But now even looking at ads reminds me that I'm unemployed so it makes me feel worse. Consumerism is not good for my mental state.
Anyone feeling the same way? I love this season but it's hurting my brain.