Venting Depressed

[crimson blue]

Much of my life I've been depressed and made mistakes that haunt me every night, I really hate myself and often wonder if it's worth staying alive, I've been hurt and I've hurt others and I don't ever think either party wanted to. Words can really do a lot of damage, living is really complicated. I like people but I have a hard time opening up to them. I would like to never wake up again. I am so embarrassed to write these things but I need to get them off my chest, sorry about this. I hate myself too much.

 

[Kurushii]

Hi crimson, there's no need to be sorry really. And words do hurt. I do hope you feel a little better soon. Life is hard and unfair but it has its bearable moments sometimes too. Sometimes it has good moments as well! Wishing you the best.

 

[jay308]

Dear Crimson , I am in the same boat. I hate myself and can't see my face in the mirror. I cry in my car. I dont smile or laugh. Just give a fake smile while greeting others. If something good happens to me then I feel guilty. I feel that I dont deserve it. Dear Friend , there is only one way and it's the most difficult thing - 'Forgive yourself'. I am trying , if I can then I can live in this world but If I cant forgive myself I will leave this world with a heavy heart.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course I also just wish to never wake again, the thought of such a thing sounds so incredibly ideal to me, and I certainly do hate the fact how we cannot just choose to pass away in our sleep. But it's true that existing really can be torture and it's understandable wanting to be free from it all, it must be painful having to deal with so much regret.

 

[VioletNight]

No need to be sorry or embarrassed, we've all done and said things that hurt others or ourselves. I can relate to this and to be honest the most important thing is to learn and forgive yourself for what your past self has done. Not saying it's easy but you also deserve the sympathy that you feel for others.