defeated from searching

[guapogato]

as we all know finding a source for SN is officially a pain in the ass now, but now it's not as easy as just googling like many have said. for the US in the last month alone websearches have began actively discourage certain words by replacing them. the results that do come up don't sell to individuals anymore (or never did). most times it brings up pages upon pages of the regular prevention hotlines and websites. if i see the hotline number come up in huge font as the first result + government websites one more time i might lose it lol
i'm just so tired. tried one place i'd been debating on trying to order from for a month and finally got told they stopped selling it in the US. so being crushed after being so excited, i blew some of my CTB money on food to feel better. genuinely the only thing that's keeping me going is the hunt for a new way out at this point
picture unrelated

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

This browser extension can suppress unhelpful websites from showing up in search results.
Once you block hotline sites by this you'll never see them again.

uBlacklist - Chrome Web Store

Blocks sites you specify from appearing in Google search results

chromewebstore.google.com

uBlacklist â Get this Extension for ð¦ Firefox (en-US)

Download uBlacklist for Firefox. Blocks sites you specify from appearing in Google search results

addons.mozilla.org

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how the option to die peacefully is denied, I always suffer so much from how I cannot just access a reliable poison so finally I can be free from this existence of unneccesary suffering, I see so much cruelty in how we exist in this anti-suicide world where the suffering of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, I also feel so tired of it all, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Use Yandex search. Make sure you go into settings and turn off the "safe" filter first.