Deeply sad

[SomewhereAlongThe]

It's October, my last month. I have my Nitrogen setup right in front of me. I can't help but feel deeply sad, I wouldn't be committing suicide if I felt I had a place in this world. There's nothing I do that I'm confident in, nothing I feel good at. In fact, everything I do I suck at. The smallest things like group chatting on this site, I suck at. It's so hard to have autism and be estranged socially. Watching everyone else get on well with each other while you sit on the sidelines. On top of that I have learning disabilities which make processing complex information hard, especially with language. I guess what I'm trying to say is life can really suck, even when you have a crystal clear way out. I'm grateful for my working nitrogen setup but all of this really just hurts.

 

[soulchaser_]

hey dude. I don't know what kind of response you're looking for here, but just so you know, you're deeply relatable - at least to me. there's comfort in relating, it's enough for connection, after all we're all human, somehow we differ but we are all the same.
I also wish it all didn't suck as much as it all does. And I'm sorry it all sucks for you too stranger. it's like being a flower refusing to grow, planted in some dried up soil.
Maybe changing environments, I know it's not as easy at I make it to be, would help, at least with the pain, at least for a moment. something new. I don't know if that's what you'd be down to look for, just a vague suggestion of mine. you got all of october to yourself after all.