Venting Deep heartache

[ssUser34]

My ex hasnt been active since yesterday. I just called him but he didnt pick up. My suspicion is that he's with the other person right now, the other person he loves. I cant even explain how much my heart hurts. Not even 5 seconds after waking up, my mind is just filled with the two of them together, and questions like "has he let them sleep in his arms?" "how far have they gone?" "are they together right now?" I'm in a CONSTANT state of wanting to go out the door with my rope and hang myself in the forest because I cant handle it, and distracting myself for some periods of time. It just, hurts, so much, I can physically feel the pain in my chest.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time! Trying distraction is a good way though! Is there something you could do you really like doing?
At least until the emotions settle a bit more?

 

[ssUser34]

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time! Trying distraction is a good way though! Is there something you could do you really like doing?
At least until the emotions settle a bit more?

Thank you for the support. I unfortunately did go to the forest to try and off myself but my ex talked me out of it over the phone

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

Thank you for the support. I unfortunately did go to the forest to try and off myself but my ex talked me out of it over the phone

That sounds like a good decision for now? Give it some time to calm down and stop hurting a bit less. Easier said than done I know..

 

[usernamesarehard]

My ex hasnt been active since yesterday. I just called him but he didnt pick up. My suspicion is that he's with the other person right now, the other person he loves. I cant even explain how much my heart hurts. Not even 5 seconds after waking up, my mind is just filled with the two of them together, and questions like "has he let them sleep in his arms?" "how far have they gone?" "are they together right now?" I'm in a CONSTANT state of wanting to go out the door with my rope and hang myself in the forest because I cant handle it, and distracting myself for some periods of time. It just, hurts, so much, I can physically feel the pain in my chest.

I hope to keep my ex out of my life and ctb before he finds someone else. I think I'd go insane if I knew he found someone else and I had to ask myself those questions.