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nifal

New Member
Nov 1, 2023
2
Hi, this is my first post here, I have been reading the boards for a while and decided I'd jump right in since the community seems so welcoming.

Long story short, like a lot of you I find it appalling that the road to taking your own life and leaving a life of suffering is so difficult. It strikes me how there is no ideal method, one that's painless, quick, easy and not messy.

Inert gas looks like the best way to me, but making up the whole setup and gathering all the parts looks so complicated, and that's not even talking about procurement of the pure nitrogen.

The most easy and quick way I've been thinking about is decapitation by a freight train. My house is located near some tracks where freight trains frequently go by. Their speed is maybe in the 30 mph and they're super long. Now I know that with this speed, it is not advisable to jump in front of the train. However, I have been thinking about standing on the side of the train while it passes, and inserting my head on the tracks in the « middle » of a moving car (i.e., quickly laying my neck on the track between the wheels of the same boogey). I have watched the train from close by a few times, and it seems like there would be sufficient time to do it.

The freight train is so long, the driver wouldn't even realize something has happened. And I think the death would be quick since the neck would be clearly exposed to the incoming wheel.

I know it is not ideal because it is in public and someone would discover a gruesome body. Apart from this consideration, is there something else obvious I'm not thinking of?
 
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voyager

voyager

Don't you dare go hollow...
Nov 25, 2019
965
First off, welcome. Always a good idea writing about trains in one's first post. I did on my second. Doesn't always go down so well, hehe. No one holds a grudge though. Have had the exact same idea as you in the past. There's a place the trains halt near here. I too thought about sneaking in from the side. The sheer weight would crush one's neck even at low speeds and there's no pilots/cowcatchers interfering. As you mentioned the driver wouldn't even be aware of it. Yes, someone will find a decapitated corpse, but maybe one could organise an automated message for the police some minutes later or something.

Really don't see any faults with this scenario.
 
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oofuf

oofuf

hope is the seed of despair
Feb 13, 2023
47
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Don't underestimate your SI. It is by far the hardest challenge to overcome.
Hope you find peace.
 
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kilowatt

kilowatt

Guns don't kill people I kill people
Sep 9, 2023
377
Welcome, tho I can see plenty problems with your plan. Freight trains have huge cowcatchers in the front, so decapitation by laying your head on the tracks and waiting for the train to come is not a great idea. But placing your head between the wheels as it's moving? Not a very bright either, that seems to have more chances of going wrong than succeed.
The lenght of the train is not really a bonus. An average passenger train would get the job done just fine, if not easier.
Also, don't underestimate your SI. Methods like train take a lot of preparing and willpower.
 
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Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,355
Been thinking about this method for decades, they roll through my town really slow.
 
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VioletNebula

VioletNebula

Stardust
Nov 1, 2023
16
Funny, i was thinking of this exact method just yesterday! Ive always been morbidly curious about decapitation and am intrigued, but in the end i dont think i could get over my SI for the train scenario.
In the case of rapidly laying down in front of the wheels as its moving… you honestly dont have a lot of time between wheels, so it would be very difficult to pull off in my opinion. But what do i know? :)
 
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LostInTheWoods

Student
Oct 28, 2023
107
If society doesn't want to be shocked by a decapitated , mauled etc body, why doesn't care when we are still alive and suffering? They are witouth empathy before, I will be withouth empaty later
 
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D

darkwater

Experienced
Apr 17, 2021
245
I read that the average train driver runs over 7 people in a lifetime. Maybe it sounds cynical, but I guess it's part of the job.
 
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LostInTheWoods

Student
Oct 28, 2023
107
I read that the average train driver runs over 7 people in a lifetime. Maybe it sounds cynical, but I guess it's part of the job.
I used to feel sorry thinking about train drivers but honestly i had too many people showing me no empathy so it's very difficult to feel it for strangers at this point
 
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Kore

Kore

Lonely in a room full of people…
Nov 2, 2023
146
Imo this isn't a great idea. While in an ideal world it would be quick and painless, in reality SI would almost defo have you jerk your head at the last moment. The timing you talk about, not using the front but trying to stick your head under between moving carriages… even if your willpower is hard as stone, all it would take is a slight mis-timing or slip up and suddenly half of your face is smashed in, teeth missing, unbearable pain, you wake up in hospital covered in bandages before being transferred to a psych ward… I don't mean to be so graphic but my point is the chance of failure with some other methods doesn't lead to many negative effects, whereas methods such as this can have catastrophic effects if you fail.

The other thing for me is… when you leave this world, your existence will halt, along with your pain and suffering. But it doesn't halt for those who are left behind.
While your loss will cause ripples of pain for those around you no matter how you choose to go, you can at least limit that pain when choosing less gruesome methods. Imagine being called in to identify the remains of a close friend or family member whose head hasn't been decapitated but rather fully smashed into a hundred gory pieces? There's not a high percentage of us who suffer AND decide to ctb. Most don't even consider the option, so just continue with their suffering until natural death. There's no point in adding to it any more than absolutely necessary, right?

That out of the way, welcome Nifal, glad to meet you 😊 There's no rush to do anything at all right now. We'd all love to chat with you and hear your story, you're free to look around at other methods for as long as it takes to find the right one for you, or even if you decide it's not the best course of action right now.

I don't like the idea of recommending methods since I'm not pro-suicide but pro-choice, but just on your note of saying there's no easy quick and painless way, you should look at the night night method. I was actually shocked at how ridiculously easy and readily available that method is with next to no preparation or costs (maybe like $10 max). That said, again take your time, look around, have a chat with the lovely people here 😊
 
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voyager

voyager

Don't you dare go hollow...
Nov 25, 2019
965
Infeasible.
How so? Because recall seeing a guy doing it at a railroad crossing at rather slow speeds. The neck is ridiculously soft. One of the most vital and yet most vulnerable parts.
But placing your head between the wheels as it's moving? Not a very bright either, that seems to have more chances of going wrong than succeed.
The lenght of the train is not really a bonus. An average passenger train would get the job done just fine, if not easier.
Actually, dunno about your area, but freight wagons here have far more space to the rails, therefore definitely preferable to a passenger carriage in this scenario, which is usually far lower. Don't know if there's a difference in length of the wagons per se, possibbly, but the total length is also more of a bonus, because it takes really long for them to get going, which would allow one to choose the exactly right moment/speed.
Imagine being called in to identify the remains of a close friend or family member whose head hasn't been decapitated but rather fully smashed into a hundred gory pieces?
Fair enough, but one shouldn't go overboard with this mindset, succeeding should always be paramount to everything else, due to the possibly catastrophic consequences if one doesn't.
Survival Instinct
Agree, this would (and is) the main cause of error, flinching or reaching over the rails with the wrong body parts. But only one for themselves can decide how determined one is. When I was at the rails over twenty years ago, I simply wasn't ready and that's what stopped me, but it was not the train as such scaring me.

Trains, like all methods, is not for everyone, but this train will literally stop and go a thousand times and therefore allow one to truly prepare for it in every detail.
 
C

ClownWorld2023

Arcanist
Sep 18, 2023
449
Inert gas looks like the best way to me, but making up the whole setup and gathering all the parts looks so complicated, and that's not even talking about procurement of the pure nitrogen.

If you have the time and dedication for it you can do it.
It's not that complicated and definitely do-able.
 

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