Death by Shark (morbid humor)

[whatstheporpoise15]

Those of us in the US probably know about all the shark sightings and attacks that have been happening this summer. New method, perhaps: chum the water and jump in!

(Obviously I'm kidding. But you can't tell me I'm the only one who had the thoughts cross their mind.)

 

[Euthanza]

God did it again, sending help via shark messiah!

 

[Shu]

@LifeIsAChore11

 

[Angi]

Trouble is, how do you get the shark to bite you? The correct prey for them are animals like seals, which you are obsiously not, or you could just pay a vet to put you down, method problem solved. The only type of shark that can quite reliably be convinced to bite humans are the little ones that like to lay in the sand, like young bullsharks. These unfortunately are so small they are fairly unlikely to kill you, you would just gain a big scar.

The remaining question for me is: Are you a seal? If this is the case, I am very jealous of your mastery of our language!

 

[Julgran]

Those of us in the US probably know about all the shark sightings and attacks that have been happening this summer. New method, perhaps: chum the water and jump in!

(Obviously I'm kidding. But you can't tell me I'm the only one who had the thoughts cross their mind.)

You really have some menacing wildlife over there.

If you can't find a shark, you may have more luck being killed by a couple of alligators

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Yeh I mean you are more likely to just lose a limb I would've thought...remember that poor guy in Australia who died at the beginning of the year and all the experts were saying how unusual this behaviour was from the shark.

 

[Julgran]

...and all the experts were saying how unusual this behaviour was from the shark.

Perhaps the shark wasn't really feeling like itself that day - it could have had a bad shark day

 

[Angi]

You really have some menacing wildlife over there.

If you can't find a shark, you may have more luck being killed by a couple of alligators

If you have the choice, find a crocodile instead. They are much more likely to attack fully grown humans. Source: Person who breeds alligators.

 

[MisFortunate]

 

[DarkNearDeath]

if you like pain, salt water+ open wound is really painful

 

[Shu]

Come to Louisiana and strap andoullie and boudin on ya body and jump into da swamp.

 

[theboy]

Speaking as a method, it is somewhat bizarre. That is considered an aggressive CTB attempt. It's similar to throwing yourself at bears, lions, poisonous insect bites, or even getting electrocuted in the bathtub. Perhaps, people who choose that method have some other "not so common" or untreated mental disorder.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Those of us in the US probably know about all the shark sightings and attacks that have been happening this summer. New method, perhaps: chum the water and jump in!

(Obviously I'm kidding. But you can't tell me I'm the only one who had the thoughts cross their mind.)

Nowhere near the ocean.... So Sharknado???

Yeh I mean you are more likely to just lose a limb I would've thought...remember that poor guy in Australia who died at the beginning of the year and all the experts were saying how unusual this behaviour was from the shark.

Is it really that unusual for a shark???

 

[Angi]

Speaking as a method, it is somewhat bizarre. That is considered an aggressive CTB attempt. It's similar to throwing yourself at bears, lions, poisonous insect bites, or even getting electrocuted in the bathtub. Perhaps, people who choose that method have some other "not so common" or untreated mental disorder.

Would you maybe like to edit you comment? Right now it sounds like you are "diagnosing" people with a mental disorder for the way they choose to end their suffering. I hope this is just very bad phrasing of your thoughts, otherwise it is very rude, and utterly inappropriate in a place like this forum.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Is it really that unusual for a shark???

Actually yes-apparently they don't like the taste of humans although this is debated! More likely to think you are a seal especially if surfing or wearing a wetsuit and do a test bite not a full on attack.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Tricky in the UK. Maybe a seal?

 

[theboy]

Would you maybe like to edit you comment? Right now it sounds like you are "diagnosing" people with a mental disorder for the way they choose to end their suffering. I hope this is just very bad phrasing of your thoughts, otherwise it is very rude, and utterly inappropriate in a place like this forum.

Dude, I think you need to edit your comment if you think the word "disorder - diagnosing" is rude or insulting. Also, I do not mean that the way of doing a CTB defines a disorder, but rather that it MAY have another disorder. It is an assumption and not an assertion.

 

[whatstheporpoise15]

Tricky in the UK. Maybe a seal?

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

View attachment 95648

Love that show.

 

[ConstantPain]

I have to agree with the folks that suggested gators or crocs instead. Living in an area that typically has the most shark attacks every year, we hear about every bite and probably 99% of the time they're very minor. Usually end up being cool stories for kids or adults to tell when returning to school or work.

Gators on the other hand, kill people quite effectively when jumping in to evade police, save their dog, fetch a frisby or just tempting fate. Could even look more accidental

 

[GentleJerk]

99% of the time they're very minor.

True that. A friendly bite.

They usually just have a little curiousity-nibble. Just a lil mini taste test. But I guess some unlucky people must have that umami flavor sharks really like.

Increases in shark attacks is probably due to an increase in humans and the number of them in the water imo.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I have to agree with the folks that suggested gators or crocs instead. Living in an area that typically has the most shark attacks every year, we hear about every bite and probably 99% of the time they're very minor. Usually end up being cool stories for kids or adults to tell when returning to school or work.

Gators on the other hand, kill people quite effectively when jumping in to evade police, save their dog, fetch a frisby or just tempting fate. Could even look more accidental

I couldn't CTB with this method.... Far too painful. I would have to be super stoned or drunk to numb some of the pain.
I know this thread started as humor but I hope no one is seriously considering this.

 

[ConstantPain]

For sure, more people, more animal attacks cuz we're taking over and ruining their habitats.

I've always thought that although painful, death by animal attack could be somewhat peaceful for ME since it's nature. Kind of like well yup, I deserve this and I'm glad at least you're getting a good meal, lol. This is more of a personal fantasy though and I do share the hope that no one really considers it a good ctb method.

Just keep waiting for the Sharknado I guess