I am so so sorry your going through this. I understand and empathise with your fear.
Ive been plagued by visual hallucinations since before I started kindergarden. When I was younger I was TERRIFIED of them. I rarely slept. I've always looked older than my age and I firmly believe its from lack of sleep for most of my life. I would hide in my bed, terrifed as things hovered over me, and twice I could have sworn they touched me. I screamed out of reflex, waking my parents and getting in trouble. They were very frustrated with me about it when I was small.
When I was in junior high I told my mother the truth of why I hadn't been sleeping all my life and she did.... nothing. Never took me to get help. Never talked to me. Never came to my aid or to check on me at night. Nothing.
Around the same time I had an uncle tell me they were real and that he saw them too. I dont remember how we started messaging on facebook or how the conversation turned to the subject. He claimed to have physically fought them, had them attack. Claimed his wife saw them too. He even claimed to be able to sense where the ones in my room were at. And of course I would look where he directed me and I would see one. It fucked me up in the head BAD for awhile. Of course I saw them where he mentioned, it was the power of suggestion. He was mind fucking me. I told him I didnt want to talk about it anymore. I have only seen him in person like twice at family gatherings since then. I acted as if it never happened. I dont know if he is mentally unwell or if he is simply cruel and wanted to fuck with my head.
As an adult, I find myself doing one of two things: Remind myself they arent real, or fully embrace the madness. I work 3rd shift a few times a month, and as someone else mentioned its a LOT worse when I'm sleep deprived. I also work alone. So here I am in a room all by myself for 12 hours at night, and very sleepy. They will startle me for sure, but normally I just remind myself that they arent real and a product of my anxiety and sleep deprivation. But if I'm really having a bad go of it, I embrace the madness. I talk to them. Sometimes in a pleading way, asking what they want. To hurt me? To be my friend? If they want to be my friend, then I would love someone to talk to. If they want to hurt me, well go right ahead, I wish to die anyways so just get it over with.
To be clear, I do not believe embracing the madness to be the best response to the situation. I just cant help it sometimes.
I'm no expert, I do not know the exact cause of my hallucinations, and of course I dont know about yours. But I am sorry youre afraid and going through this. Are you able, does it help, to remind yourself they aren't real? I'm a very factual person, so I just try to remind myself they are a product of my broken brain, my depression and anxiety and sleep deprivation. It has a logical explanation, therefore there is no need to fear.
Someone mentioned lights and I agree with that as well. I have to have nightlights, doorways expecially must be lit. I dont really have auditory halluctinations. Very rarely, and its not voices or anything, just things that arent there going "bump" in the night. Sorry your earbuds died, can you just use your phone speaker quietly to drown it out?
Its been a few hours since your post, I hope your ok.
