Damage Done To Loved Ones

[ToTheNeverland]

I am so torn. I convinced myself that this is the only thing left to do. But now, being around my family became a torture. Whenever I look at my mother, I can almost hear her wailing in pure anguish at the back of my mind. I know her, she will never get better. I am dooming her to a lifetime of suffering after everything she has been through. In a way, I am killing her as much as I am killing myself. It makes me feel like a selfish waste of space. I didn't think I could hate myself more that I already did but hey, you live and you learn.

No real purpose to writing this, just venting I guess.

 

[s00ngone]

I feel exactly the same way. I have no words, just the same anticipation of my mother's and sister's screams and the pain I'll be leaving behind.

 

[Daxter777]

I would absolutely destroy my mom. I am all she really has. I was premature and she almost died giving birth to me so she is extremely attached to me. If or when I ctb I believe she would do the same. The idea of hurting her like that honestly deeply sadens me.