Dae want to ctb because you hate yourself?

[ncmxm]

Sorry if it sounds edgy, I've always felt this way, ever since I can remember, I've always had this deep disdain for myself and this this dislike of myself that turns into hatred sometimes, a hatred that at times gets unbearable

There is this voice inside my head that is telling me all kinds of bad things about myself and sometimes I feel like the only way to make it shut up is if I kill us both

I cut myself occasionally and it makes the voice shut up but only for a little while

Dae feel the same?

 

[Mistake of Nature]

Yes. I've dealt with self-hatred for most of my life. I'm the most worthless and useless excuse for a human being. There is no escape from myself other than to die.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do dislike myself and I want to escape from myself and ctb is the only way to do that. It gets tiring being stuck with my thoughts. However I dislike life itself more, I think that is the true problem. In a way I think I deserve better than this existence, I deserve peace.

 

[MellowAvenue]

It is definitely a part of the equation. I feel trapped, then hate myself for letting myself get trapped and not doing more to get out of it which in turn makes it harder for me to motivate myself to make the changes I need to. It's a cycle.

 

[FohPah]

Yep, it's pretty much the main reason.

 

[SelmaJezkova10]

Yeeeep, I hate myself because all the bad decisions i made through my life, also because I consider me an useless and stupid person.

 

[demuic]

There are things I dislike about myself but I dislike other people more.

 

[wanttodie]

yes I hate myself

 

[Pen>Sword]

Yes. I hate myself and the regrets I have done. These are the reason why I want and need to CTB.

 

[Dead Meat]

Yes because I'm a disgusting worthless
disabled POS

 

[hʚll]

i often think i hate everyone and everything, me included. but deep down i know this hate i feel is actually directed at nature or whatever entity that has made all this suffering possible. i often ask myself " who to blame for all this injustice ? " and it's hard to find an answer

many times i direct all this hate to myself though, taking fault for everything that is wrong is the world. in those cases it almost feels like if i died, then no one would suffer anymore as if everyone's pain lived inside my mind. so dead mind would be equal to death of all possible suffering
this idea hurts. i don't know what to make of it

 

[idonntseethepoint]

Yes. I can't get away from the fact that I'm worthless and no-one will ever love me. I know I will end up alone.

 

[Jbones]

Yes because I'm a disgusting worthless
disabled POS

Same here. Realised it too late.

 

[ihatemyselfsomuch]

It's the primary reason. I hate almost everything about myself and believe that I am worthless. As I can't change who I am suicide is the only logical course of action. I also have that voice, and killing myself would end it. Sometimes I even hit myself or slam my head against walls to try and stop it.

OP what you're saying doesn't sound edgy at all, everything you wrote I can relate with.

 

[death137]

I really hate myself. I usually insult myself to cope. I've little self respect because I know I'm a nobody. Was it my fault? No but I'm still a worthless loser.

 

[Neowise]

Back in 3rd grade we were given a piece of paper with 4 fields, and I think each field stood for something about you, and we had to think about ourselves and fill that accordingly. There was one field which had the meaning along the lines of "what defines you" and I legit wrote "2+2=5" in that field.
I already hated myself that much in 3rd fucking grade.

 

[come to dust]

I actually don't hate myself. I hate my ugly body, and society around me, but i dont feel like i personally have done anything wrong

 

[Snake of Eden]

Yes. I dont think I am hateful though. Life has conditioned me to hate everything about myself and I cant help but hate myself for it. I dont believe anyone deserves to be born in my circumstances though. There is huge injustice about the whole thing.

 

[Desperdición]

No, because most of the fault is not mine, especially if I look at the origins. Reality is deterministic even though we do not perceive it as such.

 

[meetapple]

I am usually distracted from hate of myself with my hatred of other people. Occasionally self hatred manifests itself.

 

[Versailles]

I feel that my pece is unreachable because i ever hate myself and my ilness, then i need an escape.

 

[vita min]

Definitely do hate myself and yes it is a big reason. Not the only one, because if I were ensured to have no job or money problems, I would just keep on going as a reclusive coward to old age. I can't handle basic adult function, no qualifications, no social graces and have a bunch of weird annoying and disgusting habits and tics I can't ever be free from. I had a breakdown a while ago but the aftermath of it has just opened my eyes more to how hopeless any situation involving me will be, now and forever. I wish the people that I admire would forget about me, I really want to go.

 

[Depressed_Kettle]

Yes I hate myself.

 

[ncmxm]

Definitely do hate myself and yes it is a big reason. Not the only one, because if I were ensured to have no job or money problems, I would just keep on going as a reclusive coward to old age. I can't handle basic adult function, no qualifications, no social graces and have a bunch of weird annoying and disgusting habits and tics I can't ever be free from. I had a breakdown a while ago but the aftermath of it has just opened my eyes more to how hopeless any situation involving me will be, now and forever. I wish the people that I admire would forget about me, I really want to go.

I'm so sorry. If you ever want to talk please feel free to message me, I'm in a very similar situation, I feel like I'm just not fit for this world

It's the primary reason. I hate almost everything about myself and believe that I am worthless. As I can't change who I am suicide is the only logical course of action. I also have that voice, and killing myself would end it. Sometimes I even hit myself or slam my head against walls to try and stop it.

OP what you're saying doesn't sound edgy at all, everything you wrote I can relate with.

I am so sorry sorry you feel this way too and that you hurt yourself to make the voice go away
I want to tell you that the voice is lying to you but I feel the same way too
If you ever want to talk you can always pm me, I feel like we understand each other and we could help each other

 

[nobodyspecial]

Yes, the person I've slowly turned into since returning from my deployment in 2010 has become the person I hate the most in the world.

 

[brokenwaves]

i've struggled with a lot of self hatred in my life, but i've concluded that it's a waste of my energy. i am a very empathetic person, so i've learned to extend that to myself and a lot of my "hatred" of myself was actually me projecting societal expectations on myself, and leftovers from lifelong abuse from others. like yeah i wish i could change some things, but a lot i cannot and i am doing the best i can with the circumstances i've been placed in. i have tried - why hate myself when i have tried so hard, there are forces working against me (society & my severe mental illnesses)?

i want to ctb as an act of mercy, i have too much love for myself and this world(sometimes lol) to watch myself grow bitter because of the tragedy that is my situation in life. mental illness is eating away at me, making me lose the parts of me that i love - i won't be staying much longer to see it all disappear, so it is an act of love from my perspective. many can't understand that, but i do so that's what matters i guess

 

[one.way.out]

YES, I absolutely SUCK.

 

[m9q2As2$IG]

For me my self-hatred has become so internalised that I don't even think about it, it's a given in any situation.

It's not necessarily that I want to CTB because I hate myself, it's the suffering. If I did not suffer and hated myself, I would be okay.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Don't hate myself because its not my fault I was born with shit genes. I'd rather blame my mother for passing on her genes. She was bullied and has been depressed yet she decided to procreate with a 40 year old man. I dont know man, there is no point in hating anyone. I just need to make sure I die so I can escape this genetic prison of suffering. I was yanked out of the void and now I want to go back.

 

[NasiGoreng]

I dont want to CTB because I hate myself, but because of all the people that hates me.