Dae want to ctb because you hate yourself?

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

It's one of the main reasons, but definitely not the only one.
hate hate hate hate hate myself!!!

 

[Bicalu]

My whole life i was too arrogant so people disliked me. Now i have ssri damage which change my personality and i hate my new self. But i also hate my old seld so there seems no way out.

 

[NasiGoreng]

Why do a favour to those who hate you by ctb?? Isnt it better to spite them by living on?

I am to tired to fight anymore, and they make my life miserable

 

[anothernameless]

Amongst other reasons, yes.

 

[threadbythread]

Absolutely. It's a level of revulsion that runs so deep, I feel reflexive shame and guilt for spending time for just existing around other people. I feel completely incapable of existing in society and not fouling everything. Most days I don't even want to leave the house because I'm afraid that people can tell how wrong I am.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yes I hate my acne and therefore I begun to hate myself and I'm still in the same state of mind this is what I hate being emotionally unstable.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Yes, I have grown to hate myself. At first I thought I didn't deserve this ugly body, but now I believe I do. I have horrible disgusting intrusive thoughts, depression, psychosis, bipolar, suicidal and a lot of stuff. So now I know that this ugly body is actually a representation of me. I just can't stand myself. I dont want to be me anymore.

 

[Stuckaf2]

It is the only reason

 

[Huntfish34]

Not the only reason but it's certainly a big one for me. I believe the world Might be done a favor if I was just Gone. Very sick and toxic to say the least.

 

[ikadasui]

More than anything. I despise my parents for having a child with their shit looks and god awful genes. Now I'm stuck footing the bill in an existence I can't stand all because of a pair of selfish fucks

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I hate myself for tons of reasons, too many to count. I've become both my worst abuser and most pathetic victim. Every time I even consider forgiving myself I laugh it off because if I ever did the things I've done to myself to other people then those people would probably want a restraining order against me. The thought of ever letting go of this self hate just fills me with even more hatred because why should that asshole ever be allowed to get away with his misdeeds? I want to kill him so bad which is probably why he in turn wants to kill me but honestly I don't care which one of us kills the other first.

 

[Mr2005]

Yes but I don't feel sorry for myself. I expect no sympathy. That's why I don't talk about it much. It is utterly shameful and worthy of suicide

 

[Shadowplay]

Yes and other reasons.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Sorry if it sounds edgy, I've always felt this way, ever since I can remember, I've always had this deep disdain for myself and this this dislike of myself that turns into hatred sometimes, a hatred that at times gets unbearable

There is this voice inside my head that is telling me all kinds of bad things about myself and sometimes I feel like the only way to make it shut up is if I kill us both

I cut myself occasionally and it makes the voice shut up but only for a little while

Dae feel the same?

I've never done intentional self-harm, but I chose my method (shotgun) YEARS ago because I thought it a fitting way to remove myself from earth. I couldn't help recalling professionals' dismissal of self-hatred as just a figment of our "distorted thinking" when I read your "this voice inside my head." I think for a lot of us that voice is the accumulation of many years of moment after moment criticisms and abuses from our communities. Especially in the absence of support. I read an article today about the evidence that ageism measurably changes patients' brains and other physiology and alters how older people act and perceive themselves. So, I imagine at least some of the voices in our head could result from years of day-after-day hammering from our schools/families/coworkers...

Hope you're feeling better. Thanks for raising this issue.

Definitely do hate myself and yes it is a big reason. Not the only one, because if I were ensured to have no job or money problems, I would just keep on going as a reclusive coward to old age. I can't handle basic adult function, no qualifications, no social graces and have a bunch of weird annoying and disgusting habits and tics I can't ever be free from. I had a breakdown a while ago but the aftermath of it has just opened my eyes more to how hopeless any situation involving me will be, now and forever. I wish the people that I admire would forget about me, I really want to go.

I feel the same. Here's support for you...

 

[clown_17]

I think I'm the exception because that's not the case for me. It used to be a big motivator for my ctb but not anymore. I almost have bigger priorities now if that makes sense, but I'm not trying to invalidate anyone who feels that way. I just kind think I'm in a tactical mode where I don't think badly of myself anymore.

 

[lotus11]

largely yes. Although not the only reason.

 

[Zzzzz]

My suicide is an act of self-love the same way that euthanizing a suffering pet is an act of love. It's not ideal but it's less cruel and painful than life is.

 

[catwalk]

yep. born fucked in the mental.
too bad we took away natural selection, i wouldn't have made it past the age of seven.

 

[AtMostOkay]

I'm so very sorry to ache along with this pain, and send peace to us all. I no longer hate myself; rather, feel I've done a damn good job. I'm just tired and bored and ready to leave the party.

 

[Ladytears]

Yes, same here. But sometimes I feel The better person in the world. I hate because its like live two persons inside me. And they is always fighting, one wants me smile, happy, wants me live; and the other hates me, always remember me how weak I am, how insane I can be and how alone I always be. I am so tired of this... I just wanna they shut The fuck up and leave me. I really just wanna find peace

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

yep. born fucked in the mental.
too bad we took away natural selection, i wouldn't have made it past the age of seven.

Why, what happened? Hugs

 

[catwalk]

Why, what happened? Hugs

born with autism. feels like i'm not meant for life yknow. the baby bird that gets thrown out the nest

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

Guys think about it, hating yourselves? You were made what you are now. My (battle)cat likes me a lot.

 

[hlynn95]

Yes absolutely! I feel like a failure / loser. I don't have any real life friends, can never maintain a relationship, always seem to fail in some thing or another. I've truly lost all hope and just want to be freed of this world.