Venting Currently going through a suicidal ideation

[lechtard]

Basically, i spent these couple of months alone, i am dating people, have friends, etc. My life during the span of November to the New year only brought me more issues, lack of care, reckless ideas, etc. On Christmas eve to christmas day I was at home alone due to complications and simply not caring by behave of my relatives and on new years eve my partner said i was to spoiled for wanting attention from them everytime, mind you I have multiple attachments issues, and illnesses that coexist with it, they said happy new years 10 minutes before which is offtopic but for me it was upsetting because we planned on seeing a movie together, my friends made fun about my suicidal ideation and told me to commit faster and now I can't get out of bed, I don't wanna ruin my peers and relatives first day of the year, but i'm tempted.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

my friends made fun about my suicidal ideation and told me to commit faster and now I can't get out of bed, I don't wanna ruin my peers and relatives first day of the year, but i'm tempted

Those are not your friends, to make fun of you for it and even encourage you to ctb faster, it's disgusting to me because they'll be the very ones who'll want sympathy if you went through with it.

 

[lechtard]

Those are not your friends, to make fun of you for it and even encourage you to ctb faster, it's disgusting to me because they'll be the very ones who'll want sympathy if you went through with it.

my issue to it is that i helped each one of them once and they are probably tired of me being suicidal, im barely standing this day, first day of the year alone, sobbing and waiting to just past out rn

 

[Deleted member 65988]

my issue to it is that i helped each one of them once and they are probably tired of me being suicidal, im barely standing this day, first day of the year alone, sobbing and waiting to just past out rn

That makes it even worse that you were there for them when they needed but have no problem telling you to hurry it up and ctb. Not only are insensitive but ungrateful to what you have done as a friend. I'm sorry that not only do you feel alone but how tired and emotionally distressed this is.