Unfortunately i did not go through with it…i fell asleep and I'm not sure if i'm able to now i feel so cowardly
I have my reasons…my best friend leaving the guilt of what i did to them and many others,my unhappiness in life and everything i've missed out on,my lack of purpose in life or a real future,my inability to find enjoyment in life,the person i've become the horrible things i do and my seeming inability to fix them…the people i've lost and opportunities i never had or missed out on…completely under qualified for my intellect as i was held back a ton in education making it difficult to get any kind of job…i could keep going
But then this other situation came up..a girl i had not spoken to in years we ended up talking again and she confessed her love for me and told me about her tragic backstory and i'm basically the only hope she has left and i feel terrible…can i really leave her behind…she makes me feel special and valued but I can't let go of her…my best friend…i don't feel i can fully let myself love them either because i still cling onto them and can't let go
But if i kill myself i only break them anyways but i really don't want to live anyway so what do i do…i feel powerless cowardly and in pain…irredeemable and unhappy
