Venting CTB while you're still young?

[Weebster]

It doesn't seem like they're too unhappy. They have a job and get to go places and have a social life at least. But my oldest brother basically goes home and plays video games for hours. It's essentially the same thing I'm doing right now except I draw or use my laptop instead of playing video games. At least he has a job and gets paid

So he has the ability to do things but chooses not to. You don't have to one day choose what he has.

 

[sopwithcamel]

So he has the ability to do things but chooses not to. You don't have to one day choose what he has.

True... he does have hobbies like playing soccer or watching football matches but that's it. I'm afraid of ending up like that and with the way my life is heading I might as well be like him

 

[Weebster]

True... he does have hobbies like playing soccer or watching football matches but that's it. I'm afraid of ending up like that and with the way my life is heading I might as well be like him

It's possible but not set in stone. You hold the chisel.

 

[sopwithcamel]

It's possible but not set in stone. You hold the chisel.

Yes, just like how I hold the chisel when it comes to making friends. It just happe,s that no matter what I do I can never make one. Maybe my chisel is broken or dull? I have no faith in myself. I can't see myself build a good future. So why not end it now?

 

[Weebster]

Yes, just like how I hold the chisel when it comes to making friends. It just happe,s that no matter what I do I can never make one. Maybe my chisel is broken or dull? I have no faith in myself. I can't see myself build a good future. So why not end it now?

I'm an adult and also have trouble making friends. It seems most adults don't have any. I don't know what to advise.

 

[sopwithcamel]

I'm an adult and also have trouble making friends. It seems most adults don't have any. I don't know what to advise.

I guess there's no solution other than someon,e actually paying attention and wanting to be friends with us as well. There's only so many things we can do but other people's perception of us is completely out of our control yet determines so much of our social life. It's a shame, but at least I know it isn't 100% my fault, only 50%. Maybe I should wait a little more to see if a change of environment changes anything?? But at the same time I see so many people at school each day, yet for some reason none of them talk to me daily? I feel so repulsive I find it hard to keep going. I hear the empty platitude "you're not alone, somebody else feels this way" sometimes but each time it leaves me wondering, where are they?

 

[Weebster]

I guess there's no solution other than someon,e actually paying attention and wanting to be friends with us as well. There's only so many things we can do but other people's perception of us is completely out of our control yet determines so much of our social life. It's a shame, but at least I know it isn't 100% my fault, only 50%. Maybe I should wait a little more to see if a change of environment changes anything?? But at the same time I see so many people at school each day, yet for some reason none of them talk to me daily? I feel so repulsive I find it hard to keep going. I hear the empty platitude "you're not alone, somebody else feels this way" sometimes but each time it leaves me wondering, where are they?

Sometimes you can't wait for them. You have to reach out and accept the risk that goes with it. It's hard for me too.

 

[sopwithcamel]

Sometimes you can't wait for them. You have to reach out and accept the risk that goes with it. It's hard for me too.

I reach out all the time. People do answer but I'm never contacted first. Maybe I'm ugly, off-putting, they just don't like me? Oh well I'm "not entitled to a friendship" either way so it is what it is...

 

[Weebster]

I reach out all the time. People do answer but I'm never contacted first. Maybe I'm ugly, off-putting, they just don't like me? Oh well I'm "not entitled to a friendship" either way so it is what it is...

I've had the same experience. But it didn't always stay the same for me. My early 20s were much better

 

[bigbeatmanifesto]

Thanks. Feel like I'm derailing. But the way they handled me after encouraging me to open up about something that was hard left me dissociated and depressed more than ever. I think proper term for that is containment, they didn't contain me, but got scared in the worst moment. Explanation was that they are human as well, which I do understand, but I expected to feel safe and that was kind of my fault. They wanted to fix it with meds, when that was the proposed solution it really repulsed me from therapy. They did apologise later, but it didn't really mean much to me.
It was psychodynamic/analytic at times, but I don't think it's to do with type of therapy.
I suck at expressing this, hope it makes a tiny bit sense at least.

Yeah that makes sense! All I was going to say was there's tonnes of therapies out there that bypass the trauma response and are a lot safer than traditional therapies. Therapies such as EMDR, BWRT and havening touch - you should check them out if you haven't already! I have a mental health issue that can't be fixed unfortunately but I worry a lot of people on here can be saved and just haven't found the right modality yet.

 

[Gsvko]

Yeah that makes sense! All I was going to say was there's tonnes of therapies out there that bypass the trauma response and are a lot safer than traditional therapies. Therapies such as EMDR, BWRT and havening touch - you should check them out if you haven't already! I have a mental health issue that can't be fixed unfortunately but I worry a lot of people on here can be saved and just haven't found the right modality yet.

Thanks again. That was the one that left me worse off, I've tried many available to me, those you've mentioned are not. Even if they were to become available now, I have no wish to try anymore. But I appreciate it and hope they help people.
I agree. I think that if we got enough of what we needed at the right time, none of us would be here and if someone still has some hope or will, there is no reason not to search and try out.
I'm sorry for your problem.

 

[sopwithcamel]

I don't know what to do. I'm going to browse this site in class and see if anyone cares. If nothing is done then it'll be the final nail in the coffin and I'll find a method. Nobody gives a shit about me either way so I might as well just go. It won't even impact their life they'll just think of me as that one girl who killed herself in their school and get over it. They'll enjoy the rest of their life living in their little bubble with their friends and family. I don't understand…

Yeah, no one bats an eye when I visit this site, maybe I'm as worthless as I think I am and it's not only in my head? Otherwise people would've noticed. At least I talked to my online friend who made me feel slightly better. I'm sticking around a little more but I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. If I ever commit suicide I already know what everyone will say, "we never saw the signs." They'll also ascribe positive qualities onto me even though I was basically invisible when I was alive. They say that after each tragedy, and then they move on shortly after. I'm disposable and dime a dozen.