Venting CTB tonight if conditions line up

[silentroom123]

Attempting FSH tonight if it's dark enough outside. Determined to get this done and I'm not even scared yet (I know I will be soon). Just wanted to make a post as no one in my life knows. Worried it will go wrong obviously but I've just got to risk it. I'll make posts below when I'm about to do it. I really hope I don't get spotted. It's weird, I could be dead in a number of hours, my brain just can't seem to process it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find peace. Good luck

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

Attempting FSH tonight if it's dark enough outside. Determined to get this done and I'm not even scared yet (I know I will be soon). Just wanted to make a post as no one in my life knows. Worried it will go wrong obviously but I've just got to risk it. I'll make posts below when I'm about to do it. I really hope I don't get spotted. It's weird, I could be dead in a number of hours, my brain just can't seem to process it.

Wishing you eternal peace

 

[ToothFairy]

May you find peace

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best.

 

[silentroom123]

Going to continually update this through the next number of hours:

Update 1 - mum said I look down today which I hope doesn't mean she knows something is up with me and she'll be on guard. Attempt isn't off the table just alarming and something I'll have to keep in mind. Otherwise weather conditions tonight are still looking good.

 

[Rainork]

I'm sorry life has led you to this place, my messages are open if you want amyone to talk to🕊

 

[silentroom123]

I'm sorry life has led you to this place, my messages are open if you want amyone to talk to🕊

Thanks for the offer

 

[darksouls]

good luck, I hope you find peace

 

[BlueMist96]

I hope you find peace

 

[GT Darkarage]

Wish you find peace

 

[geepeedee]

good luck.

 

[silentroom123]

Update 2:

Mum has gone to bed, she stayed up a bit longer than I thought. Forecast say cloudy overcast for the rest of the night which is a problem as I find the night to be brighter with an overcast, you'd think it be the opposite but in suburbia it's not. I'm going to wait till around midnight and see how dark it is. I need to put my note on my bed and start getting ready

Thanks you for all the well wishes guys, it means a great deal. I should attempt in about 5 hours.

 

[LostZombie]

Goodnight, hun sweet dreams

 

[silentroom123]

Update 3:

Getting things ready now. Video made for police or anyone else wondering if my death is not suicide. Got the rope and have been practicing knots. Still not really scared yet
Update 4:

Went to see how dark it is in the backyard. It's pretty bright, neighbors have lights on. Still going ahead though

 

[silentroom123]

Hour or so left now

 

[Aphid]

Hour or so left now

find peace. there's always time to turn back :(, be safe.

 

[peacebenow]

Wish you peace.

 

[silentroom123]

Alright guys this it. About to get the chair and go down, everything is set up. If I never update the thread I would interpret that as me succeeding, if I get found and go to a ward I will eventually update.

Peace and love

Signing off

 

[stillbelow]

Alright guys this it. About to get the chair and go down, everything is set up. If I never update the thread I would interpret that as me succeeding, if I get found and go to a ward I will eventually update.

Peace and love

Signing off

I hope you find peace. Whether you succeed or not.

 

[eggsausagerice]

good luck. there's no shame if you need to turn back and do it another day

 

[silentroom123]

I backed out…. God this is embarrassing. Doesn't mean I won't attempt again if I'm able to. Went up to bed at 3 am and heard my mum crying which is not a good sign so we shall see what happens today. I need to analyze what went wrong and I pray that this wasn't my only chance.

 

[Cepheuss]

I backed out…. God this is embarrassing. Doesn't mean I won't attempt again if I'm able to. Went up to bed at 3 am and heard my mum crying which is not a good sign so we shall see what happens today. I need to analyze what went wrong and I pray that this wasn't my only chance.

Its okay most people here have been through this dont be embarrassed. Sasu is here to support you

 

[Natanael]

I backed out…. God this is embarrassing. Doesn't mean I won't attempt again if I'm able to. Went up to bed at 3 am and heard my mum crying which is not a good sign so we shall see what happens today. I need to analyze what went wrong and I pray that this wasn't my only chance.

There's nothing to be ashamed of; this isn't a decision to be taken lightly

 

[Aphid]

nothing to be ashamed of, truly, you need to rest and take it easy :(,

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Aw, James! Why'd you choose the bad ending?

It's not shameful to fail an attempt. You've just done the toughest part of it all. Most people would just back away even before they made a plan.

Hey, I really hope that you get to find other ways to cope and keep on breathing. Who am I to tell you not to die? I wish you the best. We're all here to talk to on SaSu. If I'm not around, the others are.

Godspeed!

 

[silentroom123]

Thanks for all the messages guys. You're all awesome. I think I know what went wrong and I'll have another opportunity to attempt soon. At least I know what it feels like to be on that chair now so I can better prepare myself.

 

[Bishop]

To feel is to be human. Even if it's embarrassment. Just means you're human. As we all are.

 

[Rainork]

As others have said, nothing to be ashamed of at all. Taking a life isn't an easy thing and a lot of us here have had failed attempts also, survival instinct is hardwired into us.
Your time wasn't yet and that's okay, hope you're managing okay as I know how hard a failed attempt can hit. Sending you lots of love🕊

 

[silentroom123]

As others have said, nothing to be ashamed of at all. Taking a life isn't an easy thing and a lot of us here have had failed attempts also, survival instinct is hardwired into us.
Your time wasn't yet and that's okay, hope you're managing okay as I know how hard a failed attempt can hit. Sending you lots of love🕊

Thank you so much for your kind words