Ctb tomorrow/goodbye thread

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I don't think we've talked but I wish you a safe journey and you find peace.

 

[liberty_222]

Update: took the morning dose of meto. I've deleted my files and media on the phone I'm slowly working through getting rid of all data on this phone.

 

[Shiv15]

Update: took the morning dose of meto. I've deleted my files and media on the phone I'm slowly working through getting rid of all data on this phone.

I'm kind of upset that you are leaving us. But I guess this is for the best. Take care. We will miss you. I hope you find peace on the other side.

 

[VKVK]

We don't know each other and I don't think we've talked, but I've seen some of your posts and I hope you find genuine peace. Safe travels, from the bottom of my heart.

 

[liberty_222]

I'm kind of upset that you are leaving us. But I guess this is for the best. Take care. We will miss you. I hope you find peace on the other side.

My heart is really really set on going because i know my condition won't get better. It'll get worse and worse till i can't even redeem myself through ctb
I'm wondering, is drinking cold coffee before my fasting hours like a really dumb move or what?

 

[Shiv15]

My heart is really really set on going because i know my condition won't get better. It'll get worse and worse till i can't even redeem myself through ctb
I'm wondering, is drinking cold coffee before my fasting hours like a really dumb move or what?

I am sorry to hear that. Personally, I would stay away from it. Caffeinated food and beverages can increase the acidity of gastric secretions.

 

[liberty_222]

Yeah i know i decided not to drink it. But i did end up eating a spoonful of pasta even though i hoped to fast for 24 hours. Anyway not eating again. But I'm taking an antacid already.

 

[liberty_222]

Is it weird i already feel acidity in my stomach?
Update: took my second meto. I will indefinitely not be eating after this because a proper 8 hours fast seems essential to me.

 

[Sky66]

I have read some of yours post. You sound like a very sweet, honest and smart girl. You are a good person. I can only hope that you may reconsider your decision because the world need more people like you but in the end I understand and I hope you find peace.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Is it weird i already feel acidity in my stomach?
Update: took my second meto. I will indefinitely not be eating after this because a proper 8 hours fast seems essential to me.

Actually bpd does get more manageable with age if one is careful to avoid romantic relationships.

 

[liberty_222]

Actually bpd does get more manageable with age if one is careful to avoid romantic relationships.

See that's the problem. It's tough. I really can't do it. I want love so fucking badly i can't-

UPDATE: took my first dose of beta blocker just now

 

[PDAnnie2610]

See that's the problem. It's tough. I really can't do it. I want love so fucking badly i can't-

UPDATE: took my first dose of beta blocker just now

There's other types of love. I'm trying too though I think I might ctb too.

 

[needed_]

See that's the problem. It's tough. I really can't do it. I want love so fucking badly i can't-

UPDATE: took my first dose of beta blocker just now

i will miss you! this is not a try to interfere, i just want you to know that some people care about you and i do and wherever you go you will not be alone

 

[liberty_222]

I feel great after taking the beta blocker. It's so relaxing? I've never been on medication like this or heavy drinking or drugs. So the effect of just 40gms was strong on me.

 

[needed_]

I feel great after taking the beta blocker. It's so relaxing? I've never been on medication like this or heavy drinking or drugs. So the effect of just 40gms was strong on me.

i've read that exactly for that reason people take it to pass lie detectors! :)

 

[liberty_222]

I love it. I was really restless all day. Taking it made me feel so much more comfortable.

 

[Death is beautiful]

I love it. I was really restless all day. Taking it made me feel so much more comfortable.

have you decided to make updates after all? Or I don't understand it that way

 

[liberty_222]

have you decided to make updates after all? Or I don't understand it that way

I might be here for a while. Let's see.

 

[Sittichmutter]

I feel great after taking the beta blocker. It's so relaxing? I've never been on medication like this or heavy drinking or drugs. So the effect of just 40gms was strong on me.

Dear Liberty,
I wish you could manage your mental condition with medication and therapy in order for you to feel well and happy again.
Tomorrow, will be one year since my 15 years old son CTBed by SN. I miss him so much. I am always thinking about him. Everyday.
I wish I could help you and make you feel loved. I wish you could still sense Hope.
In the end, It is your decision, your pain, your life.
Be well my dear. Feel embraced by love.

 

[liberty_222]

Dear Liberty,
I wish you could manage your mental condition with medication and therapy in order for you to feel well and happy again.
Tomorrow, will be one year since my 15 years old son CTBed by SN. I miss him so much. I am always thinking about him. Everyday.
I wish I could help you and make you feel loved. I wish you could still sense Hope.
In the end, It is your decision, your pain, your life.
Be well my dear. Feel embraced by love.

I'm sorry about your son. I hope you find peace soon.

 

[LilBird]

I wish you the best of luck, truly

I wish you the best of luck, truly

*hugs*

 

[Elri]

Dear Liberty,
I wish you could manage your mental condition with medication and therapy in order for you to feel well and happy again.
Tomorrow, will be one year since my 15 years old son CTBed by SN. I miss him so much. I am always thinking about him. Everyday.
I wish I could help you and make you feel loved. I wish you could still sense Hope.
In the end, It is your decision, your pain, your life.
Be well my dear. Feel embraced by love.

my god I'm so sorry for your son, was he a member of this site? I wonder how do people find out about SN, anyhow i wish him peace and happiness

 

[Sittichmutter]

my god I'm so sorry for your son, was he a member of this site? I wonder how do people find out about SN, anyhow i wish him peace and happiness

I do not know If he was a member. Never found out. I came here to try to understand his suicide.
And I wish I could, somehow, help people that are going through this kind of pain.

 

[Elri]

I do not know If he was a member. Never found out. I came here to try to understand his suicide.
And I wish I could, somehow, help people that are going through this kind of pain.

If it was possible i would swap positions with him and give my life. He was very little he could have changed to something better if he was there I'm sad these informations are available to children they literally don't know any better. depression is evil .At least he doesn't have to suffer anymore and his amazing mom is helping others too. Rest in peace

 

[rec]

My oldest sister used to take beta blockers for her anxiety. Maybe they made you feel more relaxed through the same mechanism? Glad you've found some comfort. :)

 

[medjooled11]

Posts like these make me sad, but I sincerely hope you find peace.

It's up to you to choose when to go. Don't feel like you have to, even though you made this post.

 

[liberty_222]

My oldest sister used to take beta blockers for her anxiety. Maybe they made you feel more relaxed through the same mechanism? Glad you've found some comfort. :)

Yes i knew that people use them for anxiety i just didn't think it would be such a strong and quick effect
Wow just around 2 hours to go...

 

[miserableforever]

My oldest sister used to take beta blockers for her anxiety. Maybe they made you feel more relaxed through the same mechanism? Glad you've found some comfort. :)

Never heard of beta blockers to be good for anxiety. I'll look into it. My anxiety is ruining every single day of my life and I'm scared of Prozac etc.
Happy to read it works for you <3 You deserve all the comfort you can get your hands on.

 

[liberty_222]

Well it did wonders to calm me down. But I'm still kinda scared as the time approaches. Obviously it's kinda the fear of the unknown. How painful it could be etc

 

[halcyon]

We're here for you all the way, Liberty. Do what's best for you. You aren't alone, no matter what you decide to do