Ctb today

[OnceThougtTwiceDone]

I had taken things to relax but instead of helping me jump it made me appreciate the things in life when I was up there (breathing the air, beautiful scenery, thinking about pleasant things).

In short, I'm at the same point as last June, disappointed not to have been able to jump. I didn't even hesitate, I knew straight away that it was going to be no

So sad...

Well, at least you know to not do that now.

 

[DavidInternet]

I had taken things to relax but instead of helping me jump it made me appreciate the things in life when I was up there (breathing the air, beautiful scenery, thinking about pleasant things).

In short, I'm at the same point as last June, disappointed not to have been able to jump. I didn't even hesitate, I knew straight away that it was going to be no

So sad...

What do you think it was that made you feel happy up there? Why do you think it might be that you're not able to achieve the same level of happiness in more day-to-day circumstances?

I'm just wondering if there could potentially be an alternative solution to find that peace and happiness.

 

[Defenestration]

when we lose or are a few seconds away from losing something we realize its value... It wasn't even really the fear of falling... but the fact of telling myself that I was never going to be able to live again, enjoy the simple things in life... but in daily life with all the worries, it is difficult to enjoy it and realize it.

 

[DavidInternet]

when we lose or are a few seconds away from losing something we realize its value... It wasn't even really the fear of falling... but the fact of telling myself that I was never going to be able to live again, enjoy the simple things in life... but in daily life with all the worries, it is difficult to enjoy it and realize it.

Well, I wouldn't feel bad about not doing it this time. There's all the time in the world, and various different methods and other jumping spots to choose between.

Best to consider all the options first - is there anything that could practically be done to reduce the worries? Things like exercise and going into the countryside help somewhat.

Sorry if that sounds really obvious; I know only too well how easy it is to get stuck in a rut and caught up in bad habits.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

I had taken things to relax but instead of helping me jump it made me appreciate the things in life when I was up there (breathing the air, beautiful scenery, thinking about pleasant things).

In short, I'm at the same point as last June, disappointed not to have been able to jump. I didn't even hesitate, I knew straight away that it was going to be no

So sad...

Not sad at all. You didn't fail anything. You went up to check it out and it wasn't for you. Not at that moment. Not in that way. So you made an educated and enlightened decision. No failure whatsoever. You have listed so many ways you've looked into and invested time/money/energy into. You are clearly a resourceful person. If the time comes when you are truly ready, you will make it happen. And if you've decided you'd rather see what life has to offer, at least for the time being, you now still have that option. It takes just as much guts to NOT commit suicide (especially to come back here and update us - thank you for that!) as it does to go through with it. We are here for you either way.

 

[Defenestration]

Well, I wouldn't feel bad about not doing it this time. There's all the time in the world, and various different methods and other jumping spots to choose between.

Best to consider all the options first - is there anything that could practically be done to reduce the worries? Things like exercise and going into the countryside help somewhat.

Sorry if that sounds really obvious; I know only too well how easy it is to get stuck in a rut and caught up in bad habits.

I can't cure my mental illnesses. The psychologists don't know what to do with me anymore.

Not sad at all. You didn't fail anything. You went up to check it out and it wasn't for you. Not at that moment. Not in that way. So you made an educated and enlightened decision. No failure whatsoever. You have listed so many ways you've looked into and invested time/money/energy into. You are clearly a resourceful person. If the time comes when you are truly ready, you will make it happen. And if you've decided you'd rather see what life has to offer, at least for the time being, you now still have that option. It takes just as much guts to NOT commit suicide (especially to come back here and update us - thank you for that!) as it does to go through with it. We are here for you either way.

Oooooh Big thanks

 

[Defenestration]

I regret not committing suicide I had a rare chance now the guard has more or less understood that there was a suicidal risk and is not going to let me go back up

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

I regret not committing suicide I had a rare chance now the guard has more or less understood that there was a suicidal risk and is not going to let me go back up

You're forgetting that you tried that already it wasn't for you. Go back and look at your picture. Do not stress yourself over this change. Even if you could go back up again, you'd have the same reaction. So either try to tap into why you posted that you didn't want to anymore, or just stop and take a breath. If you still want to CTB after all, it's not this way. Username be damned, right? So you will find another way that doesn't trigger such a strong SI reaction in you. Don't regret what happened. Just learn from it and move on.

 

[karmaisabitch]

I had taken things to relax but instead of helping me jump it made me appreciate the things in life when I was up there (breathing the air, beautiful scenery, thinking about pleasant things).

In short, I'm at the same point as last June, disappointed not to have been able to jump. I didn't even hesitate, I knew straight away that it was going to be no

So sad...

Good for you! maybe if you look around you very good you will be happy! I'm happy you're back now you should move to recovery!

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

It's 2:30 a.m. in France and I'm going to throw myself off a 20-story roof/terrace (60 meters) between 8:30 a.m. and 10 a.m....the closer it gets, the less I want to and the more afraid I am... but this may be a unique and rare opportunity...and if I don't do it I will be disappointed and in 1 week I will have the same incurable psychological problems.

If I jumped I would fall backwards so I could watch the sky as I floated for a moment before blissful release.

I also wouldn't think about it. I'd just go for it.

I had taken things to relax but instead of helping me jump it made me appreciate the things in life when I was up there (breathing the air, beautiful scenery, thinking about pleasant things).

In short, I'm at the same point as last June, disappointed not to have been able to jump. I didn't even hesitate, I knew straight away that it was going to be no

So sad...

Maybe this method isn't for you… I think jumping is hard in general but we're all different

 

[Defenestration]

You're forgetting that you tried that already it wasn't for you. Go back and look at your picture. Do not stress yourself over this change. Even if you could go back up again, you'd have the same reaction. So either try to tap into why you posted that you didn't want to anymore, or just stop and take a breath. If you still want to CTB after all, it's not this way. Username be damned, right? So you will find another way that doesn't trigger such a strong SI reaction in you. Don't regret what happened. Just learn from it and move on.

what was reassuring was that for more than a year I had a 95/100 lethal method and then I lost it it's stressful. I found a place but it's 320 km from my house and not easy to get to

If I jumped I would fall backwards so I could watch the sky as I floated for a moment before blissful release.

I also wouldn't think about it. I'd just go for it.

Maybe this method isn't for you… I think jumping is hard in general but we're all different

Hard but 95/100 death