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tragicfanatic

tragicfanatic

Sunsets prove that endings can be beautiful, too ♡
Oct 9, 2025
18
hi all! first post, sorry if i did anything wrong!

i'm planning to ctb tonight while everyone is asleep. after lots of contemplation, i've ultimately decided to use night-night as my method of choice (i would have preferred to use helium or sodium nitrite, but unfortunately those methods aren't accessible to me at the moment). i think i have everything set up! i've done lots of testing over the course of two weeks and i believe i've located my carotids. i ordered both gorilla tape and a tree ratchet just in case. i ordered tree ratchets with the large metal hooks that kept falling out, so i ended up cutting the hooks out and using gorilla tape to attach both pieces of the ratchet back together (i tested it thoroughly, and i believe it's stable). the cornhole bags will be arriving later today. i'm a bit nervous, but also relieved that i now have a way out.

in case night-night doesn't work, i will probably try full/partial hanging (i have a curtain rod in my bedroom for the first one, will have to test how much weight it can hold; and i can use my closet or potentially my doorknob for the second one) or even shallow water blackout in my bathtub (which is only a last resort). if i'm successful, today will be my last day. if i chicken out early, i'll probably try again in a week or so.

don't mind me, i just wanted to have someone to tell. thank you! have a good day. <3
 
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qewpie

qewpie

bedbound, bouncing, broken
Aug 3, 2025
147
thanks for dropping by! hope your journey is swift
 
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_RustyLeaf321

_RustyLeaf321

Member
Nov 28, 2023
40
hi all! first post, sorry if i did anything wrong!

i'm planning to ctb tonight while everyone is asleep. after lots of contemplation, i've ultimately decided to use night-night as my method of choice (i would have preferred to use helium or sodium nitrite, but unfortunately those methods aren't accessible to me at the moment). i think i have everything set up! i've done lots of testing over the course of two weeks and i believe i've located my carotids. i ordered both gorilla tape and a tree ratchet just in case. i ordered tree ratchets with the large metal hooks that kept falling out, so i ended up cutting the hooks out and using gorilla tape to attach both pieces of the ratchet back together (i tested it thoroughly, and i believe it's stable). the cornhole bags will be arriving later today. i'm a bit nervous, but also relieved that i now have a way out.

in case night-night doesn't work, i will probably try full/partial hanging (i have a curtain rod in my bedroom for the first one, will have to test how much weight it can hold; and i can use my closet or potentially my doorknob for the second one) or even shallow water blackout in my bathtub (which is only a last resort). if i'm successful, today will be my last day. if i chicken out early, i'll probably try again in a week or so.

don't mind me, i just wanted to have someone to tell. thank you! have a good day. <3
I wish you the best in your attempt. And hope tp see you soon as i'm planning my own way out as well :)
 
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Slark

Slark

Student
Apr 30, 2023
166
I hope you find the peace you seek, whatever your decision. ❤️
 
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EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
1,771
I wish you the best, tragicfanatic~ :) See ya, and I'll pray for you~ :)

oh btw, if this method does fail, in my experience, shower curtain rods can break rather easily unless they're like the metal ones literally drilled into the wall, altho ig, there's no harm in testing it first~
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,191
I hope you find the freedom you search for, I wish you the best.
 
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K

kitkat9234

Arcanist
Nov 27, 2024
441
Wishing you peace 💜
 
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tragicfanatic

tragicfanatic

Sunsets prove that endings can be beautiful, too ♡
Oct 9, 2025
18
thank you for all your kind words!

i may need a change of plans - i tried making myself pass out using my carotid arteries again but the most i can get is lightheaded. i'm not sure if i'm doing it incorrectly? i feel like i've tried every location on my neck. i may have to try hanging tonight, or postpone it for a while in order to get sodium nitrite (which i've found is very hard to get my hands on!)
 
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A

auto138491

Member
Jun 21, 2025
93
Even though we are all here to CTB, it is somehow nice to hear from someone who posts about going. Wishing you peace.
 
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Irisse

Irisse

Art belongs to Maksn (on yt)
Sep 8, 2025
511
I wish you a peaceful departure.
 
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R

RayRayTried

Member
Oct 16, 2025
7
Hope you find what you need <3
 
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C

cloud;.

Member
Oct 16, 2025
39
I wish you a peaceful departure <3
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Visionary
May 10, 2025
2,203
☮️ I wish you peace
 
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ibewguy

ibewguy

Tell me why the highs always feel so low
Nov 16, 2025
5
I love you and wish you the best. You are not alone. ❤️
 

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