ctb sunday night, i feel like human sludge

[monetpompo]

i'm gonna slip out of the house at 1 am and take an uber into the woods. i'll walk deep into the woods and hang myself there. i got into a fight with my mom today because she doesn't see me as a person and thinks she can constantly be in my face whenever i leave my room. i kept on telling her to go away and then she started shouting at me and told me no one respects her. no one respects her because she is incapable of respecting anyone around her or acting like a normal person. she kept on yelling at me to leave the house and become homeless. this is the only threat she can tell me. i used to wish that she would throw me out when i was younger so that i would die of starvation or get murdered. she knows i can't live if i don't have a job or anywhere to go. she keeps on acting like i'm choosing to stay here when i can't afford to move out. tomorrow, she's going to pretend she didn't shout at me and expect me to forgive her. she's done this a million times. what does she think that it accomplishes? the only thing she does for me is make money so that i can live in her house. she doesn't do anything else. she barely makes enough money to keep the house.

on sunday i'm going to die. i told her i would do it. i said it was her fault. earlier today, i was wondering about if there was an afterlife. i guess no one can really know. i'm just tired of feeling alone and like i'm a burden to everyone around me. my mom sees me as a burden and wants me to like her even though i think that looking at her face is disgusting. my dad doesn't do anything to help because my mom doesn't respect him either. i hope she knows how much i hate her. i know that she's never wanted me since i was born. i'm sick of her acting like she's a good person when all she's ever done is make my life worse. it feels like the scariest part of committing suicide is wanting to tell people so badly because you just want them to care.

 

[thaelyana]

Hey, be careful … don't do this if you haven't really thought it through. You seem upset, like you're jumping on the offer impulsively. I'm begging you, please think it over. If not… then safe travels

 

[finallydone]

i was wondering about if there was an afterlife. i guess no one can really know

chances are there is more likely nothing after we die, however i personally think what makes us cling to the idea is first being brainwashed as kids, then developing a certain feeling of "importance", thinking that an afterlife will some how preserve us in some form

 

[darksouls]

I am so sorry for your suffering