Ctb random thoughts

[Life sucks]

Hi,
This is similar to Random thoughts topic but more focused about ctb, ideas and methods.

I'll start,

I'm thinking of filling the space (car/room/...) with objects to make the size smaller to fill with gas. I don't know if this works? I can do it easily but I don't know what's the next step.

The car if filled with objects will be very small and should be filled with gas easily

 

[ctkmtt]

I really want to do it tonight, and I'm psyching myself up to, but I just can't get this feeling of dread to go away. Not dread as in I'm scared to do it, more like I just don't want to die alone. But I guess we all do.

 

[okyeah]

I really want to do it tonight, and I'm psyching myself up to, but I just can't get this feeling of dread to go away. Not dread as in I'm scared to do it, more like I just don't want to die alone. But I guess we all do.

Yeah. I really wanted to do it this weekend but of course I splurge a bunch of money on food and I feel just better enough to be lazy/comfortable to not setup what I want. And when I actually realize I could actually fucking end it or get brain damage trying - it gets too real in my head and I just leave it again.

 

[ctkmtt]

Yeah. I really wanted to do it this weekend but of course I splurge a bunch of money on food and I feel just better enough to be lazy/comfortable to not setup what I want. And when I actually realize I could actually fucking end it or get brain damage trying - it gets too real in my head and I just leave it again.

I feel you. I spent the rest of this month's money on my favorite foods and have been enjoying them as my lasts. I guess I'm not even afraid to get brain damage anymore, whatever gets me out of this hell honestly. I feel like my existence is nothing but a concept that's been formed by various undesirable conditions, and that I'll take anything to stop being myself at this point. My self hatred is unbearable.

 

[Tiburcio]

My anxiety makes me not wanting to take my life.

Being honest, being alive is very painful, but 1000x easier: you haven't to do anything for keep living (just living) but killing yourself is extremely hard.

 

[Deleted member 847]

I wish I died on the day of my first attempt

 

[Life sucks]

I think chemistry should be renamed to ctb science

 

[Dead_Inside]

I wish I died on the day of my first attempt

My feelings exactly. Can't even believe I am still here. It's not possible ....

 

[Dead_Inside]

I have to died this time. I just really can't wake up again. It's ok if it hurts ... it just has to work. So think I might just unload a gun into this POS and wait till it dies. I know it's going to be horrible thrashing and blood and pain.... but then I don't have to do this anymore.

 

[Jon_Doe]

I feel as though you simply have to commit. Make a decision to do it and make it happen. Planning on going through with it soon. Looking forward to it.

 

[lv-gras]

Can feel the time getting closervfor me, a strong want or need.

 

[Life sucks]

The problem is indecisiveness and not knowing what to do exactly

 

[Tiburcio]

Fear is almost the worst of all the burdens, only surpassed by hope and determination.

 

[Jon_Doe]

The problem is indecisiveness and not knowing what to do exactly

Can relate, it's not a decision to be taken lightly. My largest concern by far is the possibility of failure. Already failed twice and got by with minor long standing side effects. Might not be so lucky next time.

 

[Living_Ghost]

How easy do Americans have it ? Walk into a shop and buy a gun and away you go. Gun violence ? I'm surprised there's not a million people killed every week

 

[Comatose11]

I'm disappointed that the ligature I used last night did not work. I am hoping that the one I ordered will get the job done. I might try to combine it with another method just to increase the chances.

 

[Life sucks]

Sometimes I think of jumping but its too low. Damn

 

[lv-gras]

this is a bit more fanciful than some of the other posts but still thinking in a random manner of how to make danish salt licorice with SN

 

[Tiburcio]

I can't stand it anylonger, the only feeling of being alive became unbearable for too many time. My date is really close. I just wish nobody remembers me when I finally do it.

 

[Life sucks]

Jumping + unconscious = painless?

 

[Comatose11]

My ideal method would be with a gun. Pull the trigger and I'm a goner. I know what gun to use and where to shoot. But I can't get a firearm and do not trust black powder rifles, so hanging it is.

 

[Life sucks]

I think we must develop a method. We really need a very easy and accessible way to end it. Many people can't stay anymore and being forced to live biologically and face more abuse and suffering is horrible.

Everyone brainstorm please

 

[Putridsoul]

I feel guilty by consuming resources that could be used by a more worth existing being.

 

[Jon_Doe]

My ideal method would be with a gun. Pull the trigger and I'm a goner. I know what gun to use and where to shoot. But I can't get a firearm and do not trust black powder rifles, so hanging it is.

What gun to use? And where to shoot?

 

[Comatose11]

What gun to use? And where to shoot?

I would use a shotgun and point it at a 15 degree angle upward in my mouth. Not under the chin. But inside my mouth. I would hit the brain stem.

 

[amatteroflifeordeath]

I wish I died on the day of my first attempt

I logged in just to like this message.
20 years ago, I tried to do it for the first time.

This is exactly my tought. And this is exactly what I tell a pro-life when he starts the usual narrative of how things will get better. The issue is that I know that I might experience better moments, but I am not interested in paying the price for those elusive moments with much more pain, suffering and illness.

And this also something I tell myself, even in the rare relief moments I have. So, yes, I am not interested in things getting better. I want to sleep forever.

 

[lv-gras]

I logged in just to like this message.
20 years ago, I tried to do it for the first time.

This is exactly my tought. And this is exactly what I tell a pro-life when he starts the usual narrative of how things will get better. The issue is that I know that I might experience better moments, but I am not interested in paying the price for those elusive moments with much more pain, suffering and illness.

And this also something I tell myself, even in the rare relief moments I have. So, yes, I am not interested in things getting better. I want to sleep forever.

right now

wish i died on my second to latest

 

[Broken Widow]

How easy do Americans have it ? Walk into a shop and buy a gun and away you go. Gun violence ? I'm surprised there's not a million people killed every week

It's actually not that easy to get a gun in all states, and impossible if you have a 5150/psych record (similar to being sanctioned in Europe). Background checks are mandatory and if you have a psych (or criminal) record, you can't get a gun.

 

[Deutsch]

I think we must develop a method. We really need a very easy and accessible way to end it. Many people can't stay anymore and being forced to live biologically and face more abuse and suffering is horrible.

Everyone brainstorm please

Don't despair my friend, there are good methods right now. What with all the complicated things surrounding the suicide scene right now, it may seem difficult... but there will always be solid and untouchable methods like partial suspension, formic/sulfuric acid, full suspension, guns, etc. It is just a matter of overcoming the survival instinct, God willing.

 

[CRM]

I was nearly crushed to death as a kid when my shirt got stuck on the handle of my garage as it was opening. Wish my parents didn't pull me off of it. Would've been hilarious and far more interesting than my real death.