Ctb out of spite / rational suicide

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

Hi,
Are there other people here not suicidal as they do not yearn for death but are in a situation in wich they can rationaly only opt for suicide ?
In my case, i have that will to live but this atrocious and unknow illness that create constant unbearable sensation that i couldn't describe. I'm living only in the hope that it stops but it's 3 years and half now and how to know if it will stop one day... i plan to stay alive yet for some time, months or years, i don't know, just to see if the symptoms disappear as i really want to live but with that it is not a life but a constant torture. In the case it keep up overtime i will have no choice but to ctb and that's tragic as it is not what i wish for at all, death doesn't appeal to me. I will have to ctb out of logic ( no possibility of a bearable life ) and reluctantly.
Are there other people in a similar situation?

 

[unbelievablydead]

def not the same, but a bit similar. there was a situation that created a complex sort of trauma for me. while there are meds that can make it more bearable to live with, there's nothing that can fix me bc you can't erase memories and their triggers and my trauma is too unique for any therapies. so in a way, death is appealing bc i will have peace from this, but also, there's no way for things to get better and living a normal life is no longer possible for me. so suicide does seem like the best option. although i know it will hurt the people around me, i hope they can forgive me and realize how much pain i was in to get to this point.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

def not the same, but a bit similar. there was a situation that created a complex sort of trauma for me. while there are meds that can make it more bearable to live with, there's nothing that can fix me bc you can't erase memories and their triggers and my trauma is too unique for any therapies. so in a way, death is appealing bc i will have peace from this, but also, there's no way for things to get better and living a normal life is no longer possible for me. so suicide does seem like the best option. although i know it will hurt the people around me, i hope they can forgive me and realize how much pain i was in to get to this point.

did you try psychedelic like mushroom therapy or ayahuasca for the traumas ?

 

[unbelievablydead]

did you try psychedelic like mushroom therapy or ayahuasca for the traumas ?

i haven't, might do it just for shits and giggles before i ctb. just don't think it'll help with my particular issue, but i'll look into it. ty!

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

i haven't, might do it just for shits and giggles before i ctb. just don't think it'll help with my particular issue, but i'll look into it. ty!

definitely worth a try, can change your perspective on things for the better or allowing you to process trauma,good luck!

 

[thefarter]

oh yeag dude definitely. i got doxxed and now i m sure every single person i meet will hold my past against me. so there's no moving past that. it sucks, i tried being ok with it for loke 2–3 years but what can i do , it just gets worse every single day! :3333