Ctb or natural death?

[HereToday]

I've volunteered various times throughout my life. It's something I'm very passionate about and makes me feel happy, accomplished, and like I have a purpose. If I was healthy enough to do so, I'd stay alive and just volunteer until I die of old age.

I have severe health issues- heart, immune system (low white blood cells), and thyroid. I cant even walk literally 5 minutes without getting out of breath, feeling faint and having to sit down. I won't even go into the status of my mental health.

The way I see it I have two options. I either ctb (SN is my method) or go to the other side of the planet to volunteer, and die while doing something meaningful (likely from a heart attack, infection due to low WBC, or one of the many diseases over there).

If anyone's wondering why I don't just volunteer in my home country, it's because I plan on volunteering in the amazon. It's a unique experience which can't be replicated here. Besides, being in my country just depresses me even more and I'd end up ctb.

I'd like to hear people's opinions on this and what you'd choose if you were in my position

 

[TAW122]

That is an interesting story indeed and as for me, I'd rather CTB than face natural death. This is because I would like to be in full control over the manner of my life and death, including time, place, and method. I'm rather an independent person when it comes to certain things, including death, so dying on my own terms would be much preferable than dying by nature.

 

[HereToday]

That is an interesting story indeed and as for me, I'd rather CTB than face natural death. This is because I would like to be in full control over the manner of my life and death, including time, place, and method. I'm rather an independent person when it comes to certain things, including death, so dying on my own terms would be much preferable than dying by nature.

I feel the same as you and don't see any point in waiting any longer, but on the other hand I'm a selfless person and want to do as much good in my life as possible. I also hate the idea of dying alone with no one around me. If only those end of life clinics would accept me

The strangest thing happened right after I posted this comment! My phone (which is locked, I'm using my ipad) randomly started playing a song I haven't heard in ages about 'leaving a mark on this world'. Kinda creeped out, kinda feels like a sign

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I think that it is wonderful to want to volunteer, and perhaps die while doing something meaningful. I would rather do that than CTB.

 

[imagineit]

Your intentions are very admirable. I think we all should do our best to follow our heart, though easier said than done. As mentioned, there is a scenario where you have the most control and you have an alternative that could provide a myriad of outcomes, some you may not immediately consider. Both good and bad. What does the heart say?

 

[Soul]

The country I live in used to have a lot of volunteers from elsewhere, mostly via the Peace Corps and VSO. They meant well, but were mostly unsuited to the jobs they were supposed to do and ill-prepared to navigate cultural differences, and a lot of unfortunate negativity erupted.

So I would say: What skills do you have, and where are they needed? Are there areas where you know the language well enough to manage without needing a volunteer assistant to deal with daily practicalities? Those would be the first places I'd consider, even if that means volunteering in your own country rather than the Amazon.

Also, since your plan is to die in the volunteer saddle, you'll have to make whatever arrangements are needed to make sure disposal of your body doesn't become burdensome to the people you're there to help. That will no doubt be way easier - less expensive *and* less complicated - at home than abroad.

I get that doing this abroad can be a wonderful experience for you, but there are also plenty of needy people deserving of help in your own country. So please don't rule it out.

Also: Are you planning to apply to an organization to find you an appropriate situation, or do you intend to go privately, pay your own way and arrange things on the spot? Either way, will your serious health problems be a barrier?

I wish you all the best but want you to consider the practicalities x

 

[TrailerTrash]

ctb is my route not natural death ..... but, if you didn't think your death was going to involve too much suffering then go volunteer ......

 

[mediocre]

I'm so sorry about your health issues it sounds awful. I can relate not being able to walk far without getting out of breath or feeling pain. I have burning pain all over and I'm constantly fatigued and sick. I'm just so uncomfortable in my body 24/7. My physical health has really deteriorated in the last year. I want to ctb at some point because I just know the universe is going to make me suffer on for another 50+ years until eventually I can't walk or go blind. I'm only 27 and I feel 87 already.